Something that pisses me off

This past weekend was the 4th of July. We Americans love our Independence Day; so much so, in fact, that we have to blow shit up. Having nothing better to do, I decided to partake of the annual ceremony downtown, and watch professionals blow shit up for my amusement.

Of course, after 9/11, everyone's real concerned with security, and any gathering of more than 100 people has to be accompanied by police and/or a cadre of security guards. This event was no different, as there must have been 50,000 people within a 2-block radius. The fenced-in area was evidently the place to be, since it cost a buck to get in and everyone had to be patted down.

Here's what pisses me off. Until that evening, I had carried around a pocket knife on my keychain. Nothing special or anything, just an inch long blade that was only sharp enough to cut packing tape, a bottle opener/screwdriver, and a nail file. I didn't even think about it when the hand-held metal detector went off and I removed my keys and put them in the tray. The security guard immediately picked them up and unfolded the tiny blade, looking at it and me as if, together, we were the two most dangerous things on the planet.

"You can't bring this in here," he said, all pissy. "We don't allow knives inside the park. We don't even let people bring in umbrellas," as he showed me an umbrella that had been left behind.

I wanted to say that it barely qualified as a knife, and that I couldn't do any damage with it if I wanted to, but I'm the kind of person who doesn't really make waves. If I had said anything contrary, it would have only escalated the situation, and probably would have ended with me riding home in a squad car over a fucking pocket knife. And why the hell were they taking people's umbrellas?

What I did say, or started to say, was that I could just leave it at the gate and pick it up on my way out, but he interrupted me.

"Either leave it here, and we'll throw it away, or give it to the officer over there and he'll throw it away."

Throw it away? Throw it AWAY? It's my fucking pocket knife, you douchebag, not a piece of trash! Jesus ass-fucking Christ on a pogo-stick, this is my personal property. I don't give a fuck if you think you're in charge of a crack security operation or not (which it was far from being), you can't treat people and their belongings like shit.

If I had been thinking clearly, I could have walked twenty feet away and passed it to a friend already inside, or just chucked it over the 10-foot fence. Hell, I could have disappeared into the throng of people, put the knife in my shoe, and walked back, no one the wiser. The prick wasn't even running the detector over people's shoes.

Unfortunately, I wasn't thinking clearly, and didn't want to raise a commotion, so I lost my pocket knife. As far as I'm concerned, the city of Stockton now owes me 33 dollars for a replacement knife.

Besides their obvious holes in security, the other thing I just don't understand is why I could carry a knife outside the fence, but not inside it. Granted, there were more people inside than out (or at least, more densely packed), but there was still a shitload of people outside. You know what that's called? An illusion of security. People see folks getting patted down, getting their knives taken away, and they say, "Hey, that's pretty good, I want to be in there, cause it's safe." No it isn't, it's not any safer than outside, it just looks that way. Someone once said, "Those who give up freedom for security will get neither." In order to be "secure," I had to give up the freedom to carry a knife.

In conclusion, fuck Stockton and fuck their half-assed security. I'll be working on extracting my 33 pounds of flesh.