Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Stupid Crap on Teh Internets

All these tests and shit on the internet are always way off base, and yet I can't stop myself from doing them. Where's the test that says, "You are a weak-willed asshole who feels compelled to do silly, generalized tests on the Intarweb"?


Yeah, that's total bullshit. Kind? Selfless? Ready to give of myself? Um, yeah, sure, whatever you say. It's rare for me not to have a bad word to say about somebody.


Do I want to be worth a million dollars in my lifetime? Hell yeah. Will I ever be worth a million dollars? Probably not, unless I win a lottery I never play.

IQ Test Score

Right. I'm a regional genius because I answered some logic questions on the internet. I should totally apply to fucking MIT.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Quick Game Note

I haven't blogged about games in...a long damn while. So here goes.

I picked up Resident Evil 4 for the Wii today. I've never been a tremendous fan of the RE games, but I decided to give this one a shot because it was only 30 bucks, and point and shoot zombie killing action sounded like fun. Which it is. I played for about an hour and a half, and while I think there's a fundamental flaw with the game (it plays less like a shooter and more like a clunky third person actioner. I mean, where the hell's the strafe button? I could just be spoiled on PC shooters, but I don't think you can call your game a shooter if you can't strafe), it's fun nonetheless.

Plus, it's the first game in quite some time (since Manhunt, I believe) that really shocked me. The first time a crazed Leatherface-style maniac wielding a chainsaw came running at me, I thought, "no big deal." When he didn't go down after a couple pistol shots to the face, I was still unfazed. When he swung his chainsaw like a baseball bat, and took my head off at the neck, I had to take notice. Stunned, I think, is the term. Good show, RE4, good show.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Midweek Movie Reviews

It's that time again! Got three movies to rundown today.

The Omega Man, rated PG, starring Charleton Heston, Anthony Zerbe, and Rosalind Cash. I've been wanting to see this for a while, especially since I heard about the upcoming remake with Will Smith called I Am Legend. For a flick made in '71, it's not bad. Shit blowing up, people getting shot, and of course, partial frontal nudity makes for an entertaining movie no matter how you slice it. Add in Charleton "From my cold, dead hands" Heston, an apocalyptic setting, and a way groovy 70's soundtrack, and you've got yourself an instant classic. Definitely worth the rental. Incidentally, I noticed some people on IMDB saying that if you like this movie, you'll like Soylent Green, too. I disagree. Soylent Green was slow moving, and the big plot twist is one of the worst kept spoilers in movie history.

Ghost Rider, rated PG-13, starring Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda, and Sam Elliott. Right, this is why comic book movies weren't really taken seriously before X-Men. What was good about this movie? Nicolas Cage had a bad southern accent, the setup before Johnny Blaze actually became the Ghost Rider took way too long, there were a number of flashbacks and entire scenes that were completely unnecessary, the Ghost Rider dispatched his enemies in about 20 seconds each, Sam Elliott as the Caretaker (aka Carter Slade) was seriously underused and ultimately served no real purpose, and I saw the ending coming a mile away. Is the Ghost Rider a kickass character? Yes. Is the Ghost Rider film good? No.

Deja Vu, rated PG-13, starring Denzel Washington, Val Kilmer, and Adam Goldberg. I enjoyed this one despite having the whole damn movie spoiled for me in the trailer (see, there's this thing that lets us look back into the past, and we can actually send you back, too, to stop this thing from happening). Who doesn't love Denzel? Good flick, good acting, definitely a quality rental, even though the ending is a bit of a cop out.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

I Want to Punch Someone in the Face

Microsoft is filled with idiots and assholes. I am so fucking over Microsoft, it's not even funny. It doesn't matter what they say or do at this point, they have permanently lost me as a customer. Before, it was like, yeah, they suck, but maybe, at some point, perhaps, possibly, down the road, I might buy another Microsoft product. But now? Not a chance in hell.

Here's why. I got a call (at work, of course) on Thursday. The number didn't show on my caller ID, so I didn't bother. I got a voice mail, which I didn't bother checking until today. It was Microsoft, calling to say, "We're sorry, but your refund's going to take the standard 6 weeks, but it has been processed and you should get it in 6 weeks." What? What the fuck is that? That was the whole fucking point of filing a complaint with the BBB, you dumb mother fuckers! Telling me I'll get a refund in 6 weeks is just a fucking stall tactic to hope I forget about my goddamn money and go away! The reason I took the issue to the BBB is to get a guarantee I'd get my money, i.e. either a direct refund to my credit card that they charged 8 months ago, or a check sent certified overnight mail. Those are the acceptable resolutions that I laid out in my complaint. Sending a check in the mail and saying it'll take "6 weeks" is completely un-fucking-acceptable.

I think the thing that pisses me off the most is that there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I've talked to the morons on the phone, I'm done with that. I've tried emailing, they don't respond. I've went to my credit card company, they can't help. I've went to the BBB, and apparently they don't do anything, either. They just let the company do whatever the fuck they want to, the customer's conditions be damned. I'll be the first to tell you that the customer's not always right. The customer's most often wrong, and usually a jackass to boot. But I'm not wrong. I've waited patiently, I've gone through the hoops and the proper channels, I've never lost my temper or raised my voice, and yet I still get fucked. There's something real fucking wrong with that picture, let me tell you.

Peter Moore says, "Y'know, things break, and if we've treated him well and fixed his problem, that's something that we're focused on right now." Fuck you, Peter Moore. You haven't treated me well, you haven't fixed my problem, and you're not focused on me, you're focused on the fucking money. I'd like to break your goddamn jaw and knock your fucking teeth down your throat, you lying son of a bitch. You're not getting any more of my money, you cocksuckers.

Monday, June 11, 2007


When I filed the complaint with the BBB, the email I got said Microsoft could take until July 16 to respond. Good thing they didn't take that long. Microsoft sent me an email on June 6, which was exactly 4 business days after I filed the complaint. Who says the squeaky wheel doesn't get the grease or whatever the shit? Here's the text of their email to me.

Dear Mr. Wheeler

This e-mail is in response to your recent letter to the Better Business Bureau, regarding the problems you described obtaining your refund.

We at Xbox Customer Support Americas are unable to reach you at 209-XXX-XXXX number. Please respond to this email, or call our toll free number 1 800 4MY XBOX and mention the ticket number XXXXXXXXXX so that we can follow up with your concerns.
If we do not hear from you within 2 days of this email, we will notify the Better Business Bureau that we have not been able to contact you and consider the issue closed. The Better Business Bureau will forward our communication to you.

Thank you for your support of the Xbox gaming platform, and we look forward hearing from you.

Very truly yours,
Xbox Customer Support

First of all, I call shenanigans on not being able to reach me. I gave them my cell number, which is always on, even when I'm at work. It never rang.

Second of all, what's that bullshit if they don't hear from me in 2 days, they'd "consider the issue closed"? The ball's not in my court, it's in theirs. You can't pass the ball back to me and then close the issue if I don't take action. I emailed them back of course, within about an hour from when I got the email, but that's a load of horseshit that I had to do that at all. I'm not the one who's refusing a refund, here.

Finally, they thank me for my support of the Xbox gaming platform. Fuck you, Microsoft. I don't support you, and I don't support the Xbox gaming platform. I don't play my Xbox anymore, and I sold that piece of shit 360 and all my games. I will not be rebuying one at any point in the future, and I will never buy another Microsoft product for as long as I live. I will also continue to publicly bash your company and your products, and attempt to persuade anyone from patronizing your business. If you consider that support, then I appreciate your thanks for my support.

On a completely different topic, I really hate the Spurs. I haven't really watched either game of the Finals, but what I've seen very clearly says they're going to be the champions this year. They should be sure and thank the refs for the bullshit calls and bail-outs, and they should line up to suck David Stern's dick, because he's the one who really handed them the title by suspending two Suns players in the semi-finals.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Weekend Movie Review

Instead of going to see Waitress, I stayed home and watched The Pursuit of Happyness. I really wish I had went to see Waitress. As movies go, it wasn't bad. There are definitely worse movies. But I just don't get these sappy, "feel-good" based-on-a-true-story flicks. I guess they're supposed to make me feel better about myself, or something. Like how I should appreciate what I have, because it could always be worse. That's an honorable intention, but I really don't need a movie to remind me of that. I can turn on the news, or read the paper, or walk around downtown.

But that's not really the point. The point is The Pursuit of Happyness is not a bad movie, but I wouldn't recommend it, unless you really need to feel better about yourself, or something. Will Smith does a fine job, but for dramatic work, I much preferred him in Ali, or even Enemy of the State. Go rent those, and if you're still jonesing for Will Smith, then get The Pursuit of Happyness.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Weekend Update

My credit card company sucks a fat one. "We don't handle warranty disputes." Well fuck you too, then. So I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. That should get the job done. Fucking Microsoft fuckers. I feel like buying a PS3 now just to spite them. But I won't.

Waitress goes wide this weekend. I really want to see it, even though it's a romantic comedy, although it doesn't look like a typical romantic comedy. I'll see if I can get some people to go.

I have a new obsession, and it has nothing to do with digital media. It's the Dresden Files, by Jim Butcher. I watched the pilot episode of the TV show, and was mildly intrigued, so I decided to check out the books it was based on. I'm almost done with the first book, and it's frickin' awesome. It's sci-fi/fantasy noir, which is extremely cool.

Oh, also, go Cavs! The Pistons looked lost against LeBron. I only hope he can do the same thing to those asshole Spurs.