Saturday, March 31, 2007

Movies, Movies, Movies

We got movies! Movie reviews, that is. Plus a TV show just for kicks.

TMNT, rated PG, featuring the voices of Patrick Stewart, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Kevin Smith. I was a huge Turtle fan back in the day. I watched the cartoon series, bought the comic books, collected the action figures, and wore out my VHS copy of the first movie. So when I heard about the new CGI project, I was seriously geeked. Then it sat on the shelf for years, and the feeling faded. Once it was clear it was actually going to be made and released, I got excited again. Despite the fact that Splinter sounded completely blasted, and not all the jokes worked, it was enjoyable. I mean, Turtles. Come on. If you weren't wrapped up in Turtle-mania 15 years ago, you might not get what's so great about TMNT. Otherwise, you'll have a good time. Thumbs up.

Borat, rated R, starring Sacha Baron Cohen. I don't have much to say about this "documentary" because you really have to see it to believe it. I will say this: Sacha Baron Cohen has the unique ability to poke fun at intolerance while simultaneously pointing out how wrong it is. I often went straight from laughing my ass off to being sick to my stomach. As with most things of this nature, the people that need to see it won't. Thumbs up.

24, rated TV-14, starring Kiefer Sutherland, and a continous stream of fantastic supporting cast, including Carlos Bernard, Dennis Haysbert, Elisha Cuthbert, Sarah Clarke, Reiko Aylesworth, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Kim Raver, DB Woodside, Roger Cross, Louis Lombardi, Gregory Itzin, Jean Smart, Eric Balfour, Carlo Rota, and Peter MacNicol. Notable guest stars include Sara Gilbert, Dennis Hopper, Lou Diamond Phillips, Daniel Dae Kim, Geoff Pierson, Joaquim de Almeida, Gregg Henry, Gina Torres, Aisha Tyler, Arnold Vosloo, Peter Weller, Mark Sheppard, Sean Astin, Regina King, Powers Boothe, Chad Lowe, James Cromwell, Kal Penn, and Rick Schroder. I got caught up with the show on DVD midway through the 6th season, and I've watched the last three episodes on television. I won't spoil anything, but it's an awesome show, full of "Holy shit!" moments, great acting, and solid storylines with completely unpredicatable twists and turns. Jack Bauer is the quintessential badass, but the show is always reminding you that he's still human, and many things are simply out of his control. Again, without spoiling anything, I wouldn't be surprised if this season was the show's last. Jack seems to be reaching the end of his arc. I've been wrong before, and I'd really like to be here, but depending on how this season shakes out, the fat lady may end up serenading Agent Bauer. Two thumbs way up.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Still More Weekend Movie Reviews

Got a couple good ones today.

300, rated R, starring Gerard Butler and Lena Headey. The second Frank Miller book to come to the big screen doesn't disappoint. Even more so than Sin City, 300 is a comic book brought to life. Does it have some grand meaning? Not really. Is it a parallel for the current political climate? Only if you want it to be. More importantly, who gives a shit? 300 isn't pseudo-intellectual Oscar-bait bullshit, it's half-naked burly men fighting and dying, heads and limbs getting lopped off, blood and viscera flying, shit blowing up, and hot women getting naked. What more do you want? I'm so buying this on DVD. Two thumbs up.

Casino Royale, rated PG-13, starring Daniel Craig, Eva Green, and Judi Dench. I'll be honest. I'm not a big Bond fan. Sean Connery's the best Bond, sure, but I haven't seen all of those flicks. I've seen 3 of the 4 Pierce Brosnan Bond movies, and only enjoyed one of them. So when I heard about Casino Royale with some new guy as Bond, I originally passed. But then I saw Layer Cake, and Daniel Craig kicked ass, so I decided to give Casino Royale a shot. I'm glad I did. As with most movies over the 2 hour mark, it could have been 20 minutes shorter, but it was still pretty damn good. Definitely worthy of a rental, and if you're a Bond fan, it should be in your collection. Thumbs up.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

An Open Letter to Veronica Mars Fans

Dear Veronica Mars fans,

Fuck you. Fuck you in your stupid asses.

Allow me to explain my vitriol towards you worthless bunch of degenerates. I, myself, am a Veronica Mars fan. While I didn't catch the first season while it was airing, I did check it out on DVD at the urging of a friend. I fell in love with the series, got caught up for the second season, and have been watching ever since. That was about a year and a half ago.

So when I found out that the show might be canceled, I was pissed. Shows I've liked have been canceled before, but never one of this magnitude while I was watching. Veronica Mars is one of the Top 5 best TV shows ever. That's a short fucking list, folks, and Veronica Mars is on it.

And what's more, is that I just knew something like this might happen. Good shows almost never get the support that they deserve until it's too late. Where should that support come from? From the fans, of course. Where are you? Some of you are ranting and raving about it on your cliquey little high school web-boards, but does that shit ever get out to the mainstream? Hell no, you're preaching to the choir, dipshits.

But it's the rest of you that deserve the full brunt of my wrath. The rest of you are bitching and whining about how the quality of the show has degraded. "It'll never be as good as the first season!" You have to find flaws with the show, even though they don't actually exist. You know what that's called? It's a defense mechanism, because you're so scared this day would come. You don't want to face the fact that a great show is getting the ax for no good reason, so you belittle it in order to lessen the blow.

Now there's word that it might not be canceled, but restructured in a new direction. You also deride this decision, preferring the show be canceled then turned into some sort of shell of its former self. I got news for you, assholes. Even a shell would be better than 95% of the rest of the shit on the airwaves.

So fuck you, Veronica Mars fans. If it's anyone's fault Veronica Mars goes away, it's yours. The responsibility was on your shoulders to ensure Veronica's success, and you failed. Miserably. Congratulations on killing a great series. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Updated Links

I updated the links over there on the right. I removed a couple of blogs that are no longer updated anymore (or at least, haven't been updated in months) and added a couple that are updated regularly. They belong to Nikoda, and I post over at Kitsune Games. I also removed the link to Virtual Firefly, since it seems like that project is dead, and added a link to my newly created LiveJournal.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Totally Stolen from Nikoda

Nikoda stole this from somebody else, and now I'm stealing it from her. Ganked, bitches!

Step 1: Get your music player ready, put it on random, and play.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song (and artist!) the lines come from.
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly.

1. You're always dancing down the street with your suede blue eyes, and every new boy that you meet he doesn't know the real surprise.
2. I breach your life indoctrinate, police your thoughts ask why I hate, I lose control when I see your face.
3. The sun is out the sky is blue, there's not a cloud to spoil the view, but it's raining.
4. Beat on the brat, beat on the brat, beat on the brat with a baseball bat.
5. Goin' out got some time to use baby, baby, baby, I just can't lose, truckin' round from town to town got to get my rocks off the ground.
6. When I first met you baby you was just sweet sixteen, you just left your home baby the sweetest thing I'd ever seen.
7. Madness comes and madness goes an insane place with insane moves, battles without for battles within where evil lives and evil rules.
8. Going away there's nothing to stay for everything we do is some disease, love is hidden by your fear so don't make the mistake.
9. I was a highwayman. Along the coach roads I did ride with sword and pistol by my side, many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade, many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade.
10. I've got a word or two to say about the things that you do, you're telling all those lies about the good things that we can have if we close our eyes.
11. I was a rebel from the day I left school grew my hair long and broke all the rules, I'd sit and listen to my records all day with big ambitions of where I could play.
12. Just a little bit longer please, please, please, please, tell me you're going to, now your daddy don't mind and your mommy don't mind, if we have another dance yeah, just one more.
13. Oh the shark babe has such teeth dear and it shows them pearly white, just a jackknife has old MacHeath babe and he keeps it out of sight.
14. Two lane shinin' in the July dust heat risin' off the road out in front of my truck, pulled my pickup over the hill down the slide gravel through the cat-tails.
15. Nothing seems to kill me no matter how hard I try nothing is closing my eyes, nothing can beat me down for your pain or delight.
16. After six hours of school I've had enough for the day, I hit the radio dial and turn it up all the way.
17. Para bailar la bamba, para bailar la bamba se necesita una poca de gracia.
18. It's just the way it goes and everybody does, and nobody said I can't and this is how I feel, and I just wanted to I really thought I could.
19. Holy smoke a land sakes alive, I never thought this could happen to me.
20. Now if there's a smile on my face it's only there trying to fool the public, but when it comes down to fooling you now honey that's quite a different subject.

Monday, March 05, 2007

More Weekend Movie Reviews

I'm back again with two new weekend movie reviews. I didn't torture myself nearly as much this time, but there was still some pain involved. Why? I guess I'm just masochistic like that.

Man of the Year, rated PG-13, starring Robin Williams, Christopher Walken, Lewis Black, and Jeff Goldblum. Oi, what a bad film. I tell you, I take Bromo and it still doesn't help. Obscure references aside, Man of the Year is certainly not the film of the year. It isn't really even a film, but more like a collection of scenes of Robin Williams doing stand-up, interspersed with a rather weak and somewhat predictable plotline. I will say one good thing about it, though: the trailer for it didn't spoil the film. So that's good, I guess. But the movie itself is bad, very bad. Two thumbs down.

The Prestige, rated PG-13, starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, and David Bowie. Everything you've heard about this movie is probably true. I wish I had seen this in the theatre, because I bet it would have been an even better experience. I can't say much about the plot without spoiling it (and you know how I hate spoilers), so I'll refrain. There are plenty of theories out on the intarwebs, but I think the simplest explanation is best. Unless you don't really want to know the secret. Unless you want to be fooled. Two thumbs up.