Thursday, November 03, 2005

Looking for a job sucks

How come no one ever told me about this when I was in school? Why was I not warned that the search for gainful employment is nothing short of looking for a chocolate chip in a wheelbarrow full of shit? Seriously, I don't know how anyone ever has found a job.

Everyone talks about how it's easy. They know a guy who knows a guy. The commericials for the job search websites actually say that you'll have employers contacting you, not the other way around. Lost your job? No worries, another one'll come along in about a week. You won't even miss a paycheck!

Bullshit. It's fucking impossible to find a job, and even tougher to find a decent one. Job search websites don't work. I know, I've tried them all. There's so many buzzwords and bullshit that even if you're qualified for something, you can't find the listing for it. Even if you do find a job that fits you, how many other people found the same listing you did? A shitload, and odds are there's at least one of them that's more qualified than you.

Forget the want ads. Same shit as the websites, only worse because you have to look through them by hand.

No, you have to know a guy who knows a guy. And unless you've sucked said guy's dick, you still might not get the job. You have to already have a job to get a job. You have to actually know the guy, not be somewhere down the acquaintance chain. And that just gets your foot in the door. You've gotta have a shiny resume, a kickass cover letter, and nail the interview in order to actually land the job.

So I ask again: how is that anyone has ever gotten a job, ever? I guess there's a lot of dick suckers out there.

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