20Q from Joss Whedon

This file had been sitting on my desktop for about a week, waiting to be posted on this blog. Why didn't I do it sooner? Check out question 19.

TWENTY QUESTIONS (EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPECHEST)

1) What do you wish you'd invented? (for coolness and/or changing-the-world factor, not the patent. If it was about the patent money, my answer would be "stairs".)

Heath bars. Then I could say they were named after me, instead of having people think the opposite.

2) Take two movies and meld them into the ultimate movie -- or the weirdest, it's all good.

I'm gonna go for weirdest. The Hulk and Titanic. Hulk smash puny iceberg!

3) Very earliest memory.

I'm sure there's something before this, but it's not significant enough to stick out. Kindergarten, the class bully pushed a girl down. My best friend went to help her, and the bully pushed him too. So I pushed the bully down. That girl was my first "girlfriend."

4) Most remarkable thing you've ever eaten.

I don't eat anything I can't recognize, so I can't say I've ever eaten anything remarkable. I do remember the first time I ate salad with dressing, I wanted to vomit.

5) Hillary Clinton. Does she have a shot? SHOULD she have a shot?

No. And no. Yeah, Bill was great, but Hillary? I'd rather see Howard Dean.

6) Name something about you you have actively changed, or are trying to.

The only thing I've changed in the last month was my facial hair (I grew a beard for Halloween and haven't shaved it off yet).

7) Does Opera matter?

The web browser or the artform? Wait, the answer's no either way.

8) Recommend a book.

Irrational Exuberance. If you have any interest at all in the stock market, it's a great read.

9) If there ever was a female James Bond, who should play it?

Catherine Zeta-Jones.

10) With the obvious exception of Morgan Freeman's voiceovers, what's the most soothing sound in the world to you?

Brahm's Lullaby. You're lying if you tell me that won't put you to sleep everytime, because it certainly works on me.

11) A time someone surprised you.

A friend of mine in high school ate dog biscuits, canned cat food, and liquid hand soap in some sort of twisted cocktail. Why? To suprise me, I guess. It worked.

12) Your dumbest childhood fear.

Monsters in my closet. Maybe not the dumbest, but it's all I can think of.

13) Do you believe humankind is in ascension or decline?

Well, we'd like to think we're in an ascension, wouldn't we? While I don't think we're in a decline, and we certainly haven't descended in the last 100 years, I wouldn't say we've ascended in the last 15, either. If anything, we're moving sideways.

14) 10 friends. One week. Anywhere in the world. Where ya bringing us? (notice how I wormed in there? Awesome!)

Roadtripping along the East Coast. Plenty of great places to see and things to do.

15) If you were actually asked to run your government, would you?

Hell no.

16) What song do you HAVE to dance to?

I don't dance. I would substitute my favorite song, but there are way too many great ones to choose. The one that just popped into my head is Stranglehold by Ted Nugent.

17) Name a mentor.

My dad. I certainly have more in common with him than anyone else.

18) Porn. Good, evil, or indifferent?

Very good. Any man who does not have a porn stash is not a man I'd like to know. In case you're wondering, yes, my Dad has a porn stash. He's my mentor, remember?

19) Are you a procrastinator? If so, what's your usual method? (Answer this when you can get to it.)

Note to self: write an answer to this question.

20) Does your life have a purpose?

Yes. And it has nothing to do with spirituality.