This Just In...

And now, it's time for the news that's not really news.

The new "Elite" 360 sucks fat dick. Here's an excerpt from the article, just in case you don't feel like clicking.

The current Xbox 360 has earned itself a reputation for being unreliable, with higher-than-average numbers of consoles ceasing to function for no apparent reason. This editor is on his third 360 already.

It was hoped that the new 360 Elite would do away with these faults, but a number of disappointed early-purchasers have already been struck by the three red lights of death, while others have experienced consoles resetting themselves or making loud grinding noises while failing to read game disks.

Uh huh. And...what did you think was going to happen? MS didn't redesign the internals. They took a Pro system, stuck on an HDMI port, plugged in a 120GB HDD, and slapped on some black paint. Whoopty fucking do.

Not only that, but apparently, the Pros that are now shipping have a quieter optical drive. But the Elites? They've got the same shitty airplane engine drive from the first gen 360s. They've also got the same hot-ass chip that bricks the box. Yet the bean-counters at MS somehow expect us consumers to buy it at a price tag that's 80 bucks higher.

There is absolutely no reason to buy an "Elite." Not at $480, not at $400, not at any fucking price until they fix the problems that they've known about for two years. This kind of shit is all the more reason to buy a Wii instead.