Fallout 3 (PS3) Early Impressions

I sat down to start playing Fallout 3 about 6:30, and then noticed when my eyes started hurting that it was 11:30. Yeah, that about covers it.

Prop 8

For those of you who don't live in California, Prop 8 amends the California State Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. Last week, a writer for my local newspaper wrote a column about how Prop 8 is wrong and everyone should vote no on it. Here's a link to that column.

Not surprisingly, it brought out the idiots. Let's see what they have to say!

"It has nothing to do with rights or anything. I has to do with disobeying God's order. It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong."

Actually, it has everything to do with rights. And whose God? Your God? Certainly not my God. Repeat after me, legislating religion: it's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.

"The California Supreme Court overturned the vote of the people on The Defense of Marriage Act (otherwise known as Prop 22 in California). One old gasbag with a swing vote changed the lives of millions of people, and many feel their vote didn't count."

Let's get one thing straight. The California Supreme Court overturned the vote of the people on a clearly unconstitutional amendment to California law. That's exactly what the courts are supposed to do. If a proposition allowing slave ownership passed "the vote of the people," I and everyone else better damn well expect the courts to overturn it. Also, no one's lives have been changed by allowing same-sex couples to marry. Except for theirs, of course.

"Given God's creation of male and female, I'm sure his plan was for male and female to be productive. Now answer this: how can the same-sex marriage reproduce?"

Ok, asshole, instead of dismissing you immediately as a bible-thumping fundie moron, I'm going to humor you. So God created male and female, alright. What makes you so "sure" his plan was for male and female to reproduce? Are you really so arrogant to believe that you know God's plan? Hell, are you God? I'm pretty sure that qualifies as blasphemy, fuckstick.

"I am not opposed to gays or lesbians based on their character or abilities. I just don't want to explain to a 6-year-old why two men are kissing!"

Your inability to explain healthy relationships to a child is your problem, not anyone else's.

"What makes you think that gay marriage is a rights issue? It is a moral issue. Once we start down that slippery slope, it will affect your kids and your grandkids."

Finally, someone whom I agree with! Of course it's a moral issue! It needs to affect our kids and grandkids, so this sort of bigotry and hatred never...wait, hold on. You're saying it's a bad thing, aren't you? Nevermind, my bad, you're a dumbass.

"To change the meaning of this word, marriage, would only cause confusion and chaos."

Hold the phone. I've always wondered what the definition of marriage actually is. How could I find something like that out? I know! The dictionary! Let's check our good friend Merriam-Webster, they'll know!

Main Entry: mar·riage
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry

1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b: the mutual relation of married persons c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

Would you look at that. It's right there, plain and simple, black and white. The definition is already such that it covers the union of same sex people. Confusion? Chaos? Not here.

So, in conclusion, I'm voting no on Prop 8. It's not about protecting marriage, or children, or family values. It's about what's right. It's about what's just. And it's about saying that we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Rock Band 2 (PS3) Impressions

Best. Music Game. Ever.

RB2 is like a 13. Everything great about Rock Band plus more. The new track list is great. Created characters can play any instrument, and be in any band. The world tour is now single or multiplayer, online or off. Finding the song you want is much easier, and the ability to make setlists is fantastic. And there's trophies. Sweet, sweet, trophies.

I don't know if I'll ever get around to doing a full review, so in case I don't, know this: Rock Band 2 is worth every cent of the $60 asking price.

Rock Band 2 (PS3)

Guess who has two thumbs and got a copy of Rock Band 2 early? This guy! *points to himself with both thumbs*

Yeah, yeah, I know anyone who has a 360 could have had and been playing RB2 for about a month now, but seeing as how the PS3 version doesn't officially drop until tomorrow, I think the fact that I snagged a copy today is pretty damn cool. So without further ado, I'm going to commence melting faces.

Burnout Paradise (PS3)

I finished Burnout Paradise today. If you're a regular reader of this blog (god help you) you may remember I talked about Burnout Paradise earlier this year (if you do, you have my thanks, but also my pity) when it first came out. I had rented then, but I decided to buy a few weeks ago when I realized a used copy could be had for 25 bucks, and there had been some free content upgrades made to the game.

Anyway, my short take is: totally worth 25 bucks, extremely enjoyable for the 20 hours or so I played it (on top of the 10 or 12 I had put in back in January). Look for my full review soon over at Kitsune Games.

Christmas in October

Look at what comes out this month:
Command & Conquer Red Alert 3 (360, PC, PS3)
Dead Space (360, PC, PS3)
Fable 2 (360)
Fallout 3 (360, PC, PS3)
Far Cry 2 (360, PC, PS3)
Ghostbusters (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, Wii)
Guitar Hero World Tour (360, PS2, PS3, Wii)
Jagged Alliance (DS)
Legendary (360, PC, PS3)
LittleBigPlanet (PS3)
Rock Band 2 (360, PS2, PS3, Wii)
Rock Revolution (360, DS, PS3, Wii)
Saints Row 2 (360, PC, PS3)
Spider-Man Web of Shadows (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, Wii)
Wii Music (Wii)

Um, Mr. Video Game Publishers? I play games all year round, you know. I'm not saying all (or even most) of these games will be purchases, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that they're all releasing within 3 weeks of each other. Spread those bad boys out, and I'd buy more games. Just a thought.

EDIT: Next month is...better? Worse? More of the same?
Alone in the Dark (PS3)
Chrono Trigger (DS)
Endwar (360, PC, PS3, PSP)
Gears of War 2 (360)
Left 4 Dead (360, PC)
Mirror's Edge (360, PS3)
Need for Speed Undercover (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, Wii)
Neverwinter Nights 2 Storm of Zehir (PC)
Resistance 2 (PS3)
Tomb Raider Underworld (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, Wii)

Jesus.

A Question for my Ghetto Neighbors

I understand you like to smoke and stay up late since apparently you don't have to get up early in the morning to go to an actual job, but is it really necessary to play your "phat beats" after 11 pm? Seriously. Knock it the fuck off.

Spore (The Final Word)

If you want to know all about my thoughts on Spore, go check out Kitsune Games.

One Quick Spore Note

I'm done with Spore, and I'll tell you why once I get around to writing up that other Spore post I've mentioned, but first I wanted to just say this. I remember Will Wright promising that the Space stage would be the ultimate sandbox, where not only could you reshape planets and all that, but you could also revisit the other stages of the game, i.e modifying creatures and civilizations and whatnot. While that's technically true, all the tools required to do those things cost outrageous amounts of money, and like I mentioned before, you can't do them at your own pace. You'll always be getting called back to prevent pirates or enemy raiders from destroying your shit.

So here's my question: why isn't there a special Sandbox mode that's unlocked once you "finish" the Space stage? One where you can freely revisit any of the prior stages and do whatever you want however you want, with no limits other than your imagination? I should be able to get to play around with creature building, tribal wrangling, civilization expansion, and yes, even get to blow up as many planets as I feel like while cruising around the galaxy in my tricked out spaceship with no limits or restrictions.

If Spore's primary tagline is "Not really a game," it's secondary tagline should be, "Untapped potential."

I Hate Sheep

I want to talk a little bit more about Spore eventually, but I might end up doing that in a full fledged review over at Kitsune Games. Dunno, we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, right now, I want to talk about how much I hate sheep. No, not the fluffy mammals, the people who can't think for themselves. Those people who read things on the internet and take it to heart, with no regard to what they actually believe.

Take, for example, television, which is a subject near and dear to my heart. New shows will come out, and they'll be great. Everyone will love them. A couple years will pass (or sometimes just one), and then all of sudden you hear people say, "Oh, that show? The first few seasons were good, but it's terrible now." What happened? The internet happened.

Here's some examples.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is somewhere on my top 5 list of the Best TV Shows in the History of TV Shows Ever. However, I disliked the seventh season, for reasons that are my own. I really, really liked the fifth, and especially the sixth, seasons, though. Seemingly everyone else on the planet hated everything after the fourth season. Why? Because the internet says so.

Heroes. Not in my top 5, but certainly in my top 10. The first season was fantastic. The second season, while cut tragically short by the writer's strike, was equally so. Everyone else? The last episode of the first season was terrible, and the second season was a mess. So says the internet.

Veronica Mars. Perhaps the single best TV show I've ever seen. Three seasons was definitely not enough time to spend with Ms. Mars. I can honestly say I enjoyed each successive season more than the previous one. I'm definitely a minority of one, though, because everyone else says things started to go downhill with season 2, and season 3 was nearly unwatchable. Blame the internet.

What I'm trying to say is that when some idiot on the internet blasts a TV show for a supposed drop in quality (either real or completely imagined), everyone jumps on the bandwagon. This type of behavior probably leads to quality shows getting canceled. Basically, morons bleating about "bad" TV shows gather others to their cause, they all believe the rhetoric, stop watching, the ratings go down, and the shows get the axe. I don't actually have any data to support it, but that's my theory. Fucking sheep.

Spore (PC) Impressions

I've been playing Spore for the past week, and have put in around 10 or 12 hours, enough to reach the final Space stage (the five stages are Cell, Creature, Tribal, Civilization, and Space) and play around in it. My initial thoughts about Spore since I first heard about it (some 3 years ago now, at least) were that it isn't a game in the traditional sense, and those are still my thoughts. There's no ending, no goals besides advancing to the next stage, and no real structure or story.

The most interesting part, the space stage, is fatally flawed. The general idea is to take over the galaxy, either by force or by economic means. You can complete missions for other races, establish trade routes, terraform and colonize new planets, buy out existing colonies, or blast them all to hell. The fatal flaw that I've found in this game that is very clearly marketed at the "casual" gamer, is that you can't do anything at your own pace. Let's say you want to explore the galaxy and do missions, and that's all you want to do. That's fine. Until you meet a warlike race, however, and they declare war on you with no provocation other than the fact that you were in their system. After that, they will relentlessly and tirelessly attack your colonies until there is nothing left of them. Sure, you can put up meager defense turrets, but they'll be blasted all to hell in no time. Sure, your colonies will purchase attack vehicles on their own, but not nearly as many as are needed, or often enough to turn aside a single invasion. Whenever your colonies are attacked, you must immediately drop whatever you're doing and return in your ship to help defend. Even if you're in the system that is being attacked, by the time you get to the planet and defeat the invaders, they will have wrought heavy damage to your colonies. Any buildings or turrets that were destroyed will have to be replaced by hand. You can choose not to replace them, but that simply means the next time you're attacked, the invasion will be able to destroy everything that's left more quickly, not to mention that your colonies will not be at full operating capacity.

What this boils down to is a futile exercise in micromanagement, something no casual gamer would ever find fun or interesting. Even I, as a self-described hardcore gamer have no interest in micromanaging my colonies. I'm off exploring the galaxy, goddammit, my people should rebuild those turrets and buildings automatically, and there should be an option to create a standing army so they'll be ready for the next invasion and won't have to whine that they're being attacked and plead that I come help them. That way, even if I'm in a war that I didn't start and didn't want, I don't have to scurry back and forth across the galaxy just to keep from being wiped off the face of the universe.

At this point, I had a lot more fun reaching the space stage then actually doing things in the space stage. Messing around with my creature and doing all of the tribal and civilization stuff was surprisingly fun, although I'm not sure I would ever want to do it again. The space stage, however, has the potential to be really, really good, and it's not. Kind of a shame, really, because I would have gladly paid $50 just for the Space stage that incorporates all of the interesting ideas it has with none of the bullshit.

Release Date Calendar

Rejoice! A comprehensive release date calendar, in easy to use calendar format complete with color coding!

I've been searching for something like this ever since Gone Gold went down, and the void it left was not sufficiently filled by the continuation of the community or the eventual resurrection of the sister site, Console Gold.

On a related side note, looking up Gone Gold for those links reminded me that it was at that site that I originally started reading Bill Harris' work, which he moved over to Dubious Quality just before Gone Gold closed. It's like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, or some shit.

This is Why GameStop Sucks

If you've got some free time, please hit this link and watch these videos. They're made by a former GameStop employee who has decided to call out the retailer on all of their bullshit. For some reason, the first video ("01") has been removed, but the other 8 are still there.

Sad But True

Let me first make one thing perfectly clear: I am a die-hard Oakland Raiders football fan. I have been a member of the Raider Nation since I've known what football is. If you prick me, I'll still bleed red, but for metaphorical purposes, it is Silver and Black.

That said, this made me laugh uproariously, which is sad. But very true.

From the Shutdown Corner:

Don't Count On ... ... the Raiders continuing to be so tragic. Actually, you might be able to count on the Raiders continuing to be just that tragic. I don't know. What we witnessed from that morosely-dressed clown troupe on Monday night was almost unspeakable.

Things started well enough for them. They ran the ball. Justin Fargas found some holes, Darren McFadden had some success when he touched the ball. There seemed to be a shred of two of promise.

From there, I'd like to say that the wheels came off, but that wouldn't feel like an accurate description. The wheels didn't just magically come off, the Raiders all got out of the car (all 45 of them were in one Volkswagon; remember, this is a morosely-dressed clown troupe), shot the wheels off the own car, busted out the taillights, smashed the windshield and poured Splenda in the gas tank. Then they all piled back inside and started screaming, "CAR WON'T MOVE, ME SAD NOW!"

I just don't know how you can allow a performance like that to happen. Ninety-six penalty yards, most of them coming on ignorant personal fouls, a pathetic passing game in which Ashley Lelie was the star receiver, Eddie Royal consistently and viciously abusing DeAngelo Hall ... at no point were the Raiders anything but an ugly carpet for the Broncos to walk on.

You don't need talent to have discipline. You don't need a loaded roster to not be an embarrassment. The Chiefs found a way to take the field and not be a laughing stock, and they went out of their way this offseason to strip their roster of talent.

There's just no excuse for a team performing as poorly as the Raiders did on Monday night. I don't care if it's Week One or Week Seventeen.

The Legend of Neil Continued

Click here for the first 3 episodes.

Every Day Should Be Felicia Day

The Force Unleashed Demo Impressions (PS3)

Before I begin, let me preface my comments with a caveat: I am a huge Star Wars fan. I can't count the number of times I've seen the Original Trilogy, and I've even seen the Prequel Trilogy multiple times. I've read the books, I've had the action figures, hell, I even watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. (btw, if you're wondering if it really is that bad, the answer is yes. Yes it is) That said, I am not a George Lucas apologist, I think the Special Editions of the OT are awful, the PT is not as good as it could have been, and most things Star Wars that Lucas is directly involved in now are not the best.

Now, on to The Force Unleashed. In a word, awesome. In two words, fucking awesome. The basic idea is this: here's a lightsaber, here's the force, go have fun. See that window that looks out into space? Use the force to pick up that droid from across the room and hurl it through the window. See that TIE fighter? Use the force to snatch it out of midair and send it hurtling into a group of rebel soldiers. See that AT-ST? Force dash up to it, break it's legs with a Force blast, then cut it in half with your lightsaber. I did all that and more during the 10 minute demo.

I am so getting this game.

Facebreaker Demo Impressions (PS3)

After I checked out these videos, I had to download the demo and try Facebreaker. After five minutes with the demo, I've made a buying decision.

That is to say, I definitely won't be spending a nickel on Facebreaker. I don't know where the comedy in those videos is in the game (probably no where, but it's certainly not in the demo), but without it, the gameplay in no way holds my interest. It's button mashing. It's not even good button mashing, because the computer button mashes, too. I could maybe forgive it if two player games devolved into button mashing, because most mediocre fighters do. But when the only legitimate strategy against the computer is to button mash? Fucking terrible.

I mean, shit, at least Fight Night Round 3 had good controls. The game still sucked, but it controlled well. Ever since the original Fight Night introduced Total Punch Control, there is no excuse for a modern boxing game, even an arcade one like Facebreaker, to not use that control scheme. For that reason alone (nevermind the others), Facebreaker = Fail.

I Hate Spoilers

Contrary to the latest Tensided Tales, I was, and continue to be, excited about the Olympic Games. Something about the very best athletes in the world coming together and competing against each other is extremely cool. Some of the sports are pretty lame (synchronized diving? rhythmic gymnastics? dressage? Come on), but for the most part, it's enjoyable. At least, it is when I can actually watch the contests without foreknowledge of knowing the outcome.

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I absolutely can't stand spoilers. One of the unfortunate things about living on the other side of the world from where the Olympics are being held is that pretty much everything is time-delayed. No problem, though, because I can easily avoid spoilers, right?

Wrong. Yesterday, I decided to check my email, and the "helpful" news update just happened to advise me that the US swimming relay team had won the gold medal in a race that would not be broadcast for four more hours. Great. Just great. It completely took all the excitement out of an event that for everyone that saw it unspoiled was incredibly exciting. Amazing. Spellbinding. Unforgettable. As long as you didn't know who won ahead of time.

Fast forward to today. I decide to avoid the internet like the plague, and watch the Monday Night Football game on ESPN. Yes, it's a sports news channel, but the game is shown live. They wouldn't ruin anything that anyone watching would have no chance of having seen, right? That would just be irresponsible, right?

Wrong. They broke in in the third quarter to "helpfully" announce that Phelps had won another gold during his individual race. That's right, the race would not be broadcast for four more hours.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? If I want to know the news as soon as it happens, sure, I should be able to get it. But I should have to seek it out, it shouldn't be thrust upon me out of nowhere. It certainly shouldn't be handed out like candy when I don't even want it. What the fuck?

Online Video Clip Saturday

Hilarity ensues!