Prop 8

For those of you who don't live in California, Prop 8 amends the California State Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. Last week, a writer for my local newspaper wrote a column about how Prop 8 is wrong and everyone should vote no on it. Here's a link to that column.

Not surprisingly, it brought out the idiots. Let's see what they have to say!

"It has nothing to do with rights or anything. I has to do with disobeying God's order. It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong."

Actually, it has everything to do with rights. And whose God? Your God? Certainly not my God. Repeat after me, legislating religion: it's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.

"The California Supreme Court overturned the vote of the people on The Defense of Marriage Act (otherwise known as Prop 22 in California). One old gasbag with a swing vote changed the lives of millions of people, and many feel their vote didn't count."

Let's get one thing straight. The California Supreme Court overturned the vote of the people on a clearly unconstitutional amendment to California law. That's exactly what the courts are supposed to do. If a proposition allowing slave ownership passed "the vote of the people," I and everyone else better damn well expect the courts to overturn it. Also, no one's lives have been changed by allowing same-sex couples to marry. Except for theirs, of course.

"Given God's creation of male and female, I'm sure his plan was for male and female to be productive. Now answer this: how can the same-sex marriage reproduce?"

Ok, asshole, instead of dismissing you immediately as a bible-thumping fundie moron, I'm going to humor you. So God created male and female, alright. What makes you so "sure" his plan was for male and female to reproduce? Are you really so arrogant to believe that you know God's plan? Hell, are you God? I'm pretty sure that qualifies as blasphemy, fuckstick.

"I am not opposed to gays or lesbians based on their character or abilities. I just don't want to explain to a 6-year-old why two men are kissing!"

Your inability to explain healthy relationships to a child is your problem, not anyone else's.

"What makes you think that gay marriage is a rights issue? It is a moral issue. Once we start down that slippery slope, it will affect your kids and your grandkids."

Finally, someone whom I agree with! Of course it's a moral issue! It needs to affect our kids and grandkids, so this sort of bigotry and hatred never...wait, hold on. You're saying it's a bad thing, aren't you? Nevermind, my bad, you're a dumbass.

"To change the meaning of this word, marriage, would only cause confusion and chaos."

Hold the phone. I've always wondered what the definition of marriage actually is. How could I find something like that out? I know! The dictionary! Let's check our good friend Merriam-Webster, they'll know!

Main Entry: mar·riage
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry

1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b: the mutual relation of married persons c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

Would you look at that. It's right there, plain and simple, black and white. The definition is already such that it covers the union of same sex people. Confusion? Chaos? Not here.

So, in conclusion, I'm voting no on Prop 8. It's not about protecting marriage, or children, or family values. It's about what's right. It's about what's just. And it's about saying that we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.