Vacation Movie Reviews

It's been a while since I've done one of these. I've had the last two days off work, so I had time to watch some flicks, and will now proceed to tear them apart for your entertainment.

First up:

The Benchwarmers, rated PG-13, starring Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder. Wow. A crappy baseball movie with dick and fart jokes. Good for a chuckle or two, I suppose. There was a time when a movie like this would have gotten a big thumbs up from me, but that was about ten years ago. Now, it's just another piece of shit that I'll have forgotten about in two days.

Ultraviolet, rated PG-13, starring Milla Jovovich. The best part of this movie was about 6 minutes in, where Milla walked down a purple hallway naked. About 6 minutes after that, I turned it off. Let's see, there's bad acting, shitty action, a plot that doesn't make a goddamn bit of sense, stuff happening that doesn't make sense either, and just plain crazy going on. I'm pretty good at suspending my disbelief, but I have to have something to work with. A dark ass-shot of Milla isn't much, and that's all this movie had going for it. I've got two words for Ultraviolet: absolute bullshit. On a side note, it now joins only two other films in existence that I've started watching and haven't finished because they sucked out loud: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Kung Pow Enter the Fist. That's the shit-tastic Top 3 right there.

V for Vendetta, rated R, starring Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving. I read the graphic novel first. I loved it. When I heard the Wachowskis were doing the film, I hated it. I stayed away from it, and then finally decided to give it a shot. And it's not bad. Some things were changed from the book, certainly, but I think they worked for the most part. The book ended on less of an upbeat note than the film did, and I think I liked the book better in that regard. Overall, I enjoyed the movie, and while it hasn't completely restored my faith in the Wachowskis, I don't think I'll avoid their next film like the plague.