An Inconvenient Truth

No, this isn't another movie review post, but it is related to a film. I haven't seen An Inconvient Truth, but I want to. Word is it opened in Stockton this weekend, which I wish I had known about yesterday, so Justin and I could have gone to see it. Hopefully it'll still be playing next weekend.

So I was reading the paper today, and I decided to check out the Opinion/Letters section (something I rarely do, since the stupidity is blinding). I ran across this gem. I'll break it down piece by piece.

"Sometimes I get discouraged, but my faith is restored by letters to The Record that deny global warming."

Oh shit. He mentioned faith. This is gonna be one of those Jesus-freak bible-thumping mother fuckers.

"Americans are famous for common sense and open minds. Thank God enough people with common sense can see that Al Gore and global warming are just plain silly."

Wait, now he mentioned common sense and open minds. Is this a sarcastic letter?

"A majority of scientists say there is global warming, which shows how common sense disappears at the gates to our universities. The scientists are herd animals, trying to get to tenure pasture."

Ok, I've met my share of folks with PhDs who aren't very smart, but that's ridiculous. Does he really think professors write papers and do research just because they want tenure? And that those papers would somehow be accepted into scholarly journals (which are independent from the tenure committees at their local universities) if they were pure bullshit? Maybe this isn't sarcasm.

"Earth's atmosphere is too big and too divinely designed for man to cause something as cataclysmic as global warming. It's common sense."

Nope. Definitely not sarcasm. Just stupidity.

"Scientists who blame warming on the burning of gas and coal are fossil fools. Man has been burning things for centuries. We've had cars for 100 years. Why, all of a sudden, is it a problem?"

I make no claims to be an expert on global warming, but it's crystal clear that this dumbass doesn't know the first thing about it. He's awfully quick to dismiss the findings of "scientists," while spouting nonsense about the Earth's atmosphere being divinely inspired, and using such quantifiable terms as "big."

"Only because extremist environmentalists like Gore need an issue. They get government grants to study this stuff and live off taxpayers."

Ah yes, taxes. The dreaded government taxation that provides such services like healthcare assistance, public schools and libraries, public transit, roads, grants for higher education, and countless other things that make our lives better. God forbid the government give some of that money to folks who use it to research solutions to problems that would otherwise make our lives worse.

"How can we have global warming (which assumes Earth is a globe) when common sense says the Earth is flat?"

...

Wait. What did he say?

"How can we have global warming (which assumes Earth is a globe) when common sense says the Earth is flat?"

...

That's what I thought he said.

"William West,
Stockton."

Well, William West, you sir, are a fucking idiot. And I am now permanently dumber for having read your letter. How did you even learn to read and write, since you're apparently developmentally disabled? Or did you have your personal assistant write the letter for you while you pointed at pictures of the idea you wanted to convey and made gurgling noises? I'm ashamed that I have to share my town with you. But I do wish you success, so you can buy a large house with many floors. Then you can trip and fall down a few flights of stairs on your way to breakfast and break your stupid goddamn neck.