Game of Shadows

If you follow sports at all (or even if you don't, if you happened to glance at ESPN, or Yahoo Sports, or the front page of the newspaper, or really any media outlet) you'd know that a book called "Game of Shadows" was recently announced that has some pretty damning allegations about Barry Bonds' steroid use. Here's what Barry had to say.

"I won't even look at it. For what? There's no need to. Everything they say in it is true."

Ok, so I added that last sentence. But come on, Barry. If it isn't true, wouldn't you at least want to look at it? Wouldn't you want to know what they said before leveling a huge libel suit at them? Wouldn't you want to be able to pick apart every allegation in detail, going through the list and denying each charge under media scrutiny? We know you don't like the media, but you've gotta protect yourself from this bullshit, right?

Unless every word of it is true. Then you can't deny it, because you'd be a liar. You can't sue, because you'd lose. You can't do anything but ignore it with a flippant remark as if it didn't exist, and refuse further comment. You can't do anything because you're already ruined in the court of public opinion. You cheated, Barry. And cheaters don't deserve their own reality show. They don't deserve to play Major League Baseball. They don't deserve to be the all-time season home run leader. They don't deserve to be #3 on the all-time career home runs list. And they sure as hell don't deserve to be considered for the Hall of Fame.

Roger Maris' single season home run record should be reinstated (because McGwire and Sosa cheated, too). Bonds should be removed from the all-time career home run list (as should McGwire, Sosa, and Rafael Palmeiro). And Bonds should not only be benched for the rest of his career, he should be banned from entry into the Hall of Fame forever. That's what the MLB Commissioner should do.

But he won't. No, Bud Selig cares too much about the future of baseball (that is, the financial future of baseball) to lay down such a judgement. Hell, the home run race between McGwire and Sosa, and then Bonds' run brought the people back to the parks. They forgot about that silly strike because the players were hitting the long ball! Who gives a shit if they cheated?

I give a shit. Bonds used to be my favorite player; I'd squeal with glee whenever he bashed another one out of the park. No more. Bonds? The Giants? Baseball? Who gives a shit.

Geek Shelves

Inspired by a thread on SDN, I decided to bust out my digicam and snap some pics of my geek shelves. I couldn't get closeups that showed the full shelf, so I did some quick editing/combining in Photoshop. You can click on each pic for the full size version.



This is the main shelf on the wall above my computer desk. Here's a rundown from left to right. Top shelf: cheesy sword bookend, Die Hard Trilogy, The Last Boyscout, Striking Distance, Last Man Standing, The Fifth Element, The Sixth Sense, The Whole Nine Yards, Pulp Fiction, Clerks and Clerks X, Mallrats and Mallrats 10th Anniversary, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Drawing Flies, A Better Place, Stealing Harvard, Kissing a Fool, A Guy Thing, Batman Begins, Spider-Man 1 and 2, The Incredibles, X-Men 1 and 2, The Hulk, Daredevil, Hellboy, Punisher, The Matrix, Showgirls, Gia, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Happy Gilmore, Spaceballs, and my A.A. Stagg High Delta Kings commemorative stein, Class of 2000.
Middle shelf: tassel from University of the Pacific, Class of 2004, Clerks/Chasing Amy - Two Screenplays by Kevin Smith, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1-7, Angel Season 1-5, Playboy Playmate DVD Calendar Collection - The 90's, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Vol. 1 and 2, South Park Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, South Park Season 1-3, Family Guy Vol. 1 and 2, Greg the Bunny, Reno 911! Season 1, and Spike, Mike, Slackers and Dykes by John Pierson.
Bottom shelf: big binder filled with PC games, little binders filled with porn, PC games Space Rangers 2 (I wrote Space Empires 2 the first time, hehe) and Battlefield 2, backup copies of Firefly (ho man, if I didn't have these I'd go crazy, tell you why later), Rambo Collector's Pack, Chappelle's Show Season 1 and 2, Starsky and Hutch, The Big Lebowski, The Terminator, T2, Terminator 3, Ronin, A Fistful of Dollars, Dirty Harry, The Wild Bunch, and El Mariachi/Desperado Collector's Box.



Then we have the media shelf I got recently because my wall shelves were overflowing. The shelves are staggered, but I'll treat each set of shelves as one continuous shelf. Top shelf: Lego Star Destroyer, Lego Millenium Falcon, Lego Y-wing, PS2 games Onimusha, SSX, Maximo, Metal Gear Solid 2, Devil May Cry, Midnight Club, Gran Turismo 3, Kengo Master of Bushido, Grand Theft Auto 3, GTA Vice City, GTA San Andreas, WWE Smackdown Just Bring It, Smackdown Shut Your Mouth, and Smackdown Here Comes the Pain.
Second shelf: PS2 games Mark of Kri, Jak and Daxter, Jak II, Jak 3, Kingdom Hearts, and Guitar Hero, Xbox games Halo, MGS2 Substance, Dead to Rights, Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb, Max Payne, Max Payne 2, Hitman 2, Manhunt, Sega GT 2002/Jet Set Radio Future, Blitz the League, and Crimson Skies, Gamecube games Resident Evil, WWE Wrestlemania X8, Madden 2002, Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes, Star Fox Adventures, Pikmin, Super Smash Bros Melee, Metroid Prime, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, and Legend of Zelda Wind Waker.
Third shelf: Batman the Animated Series Vol 1-4, Superman the Animated Series Vol 1 and 2, Teen Titans Season 1, bootlegged Spider-Man the Animated Series Complete, bootlegged The Tick Complete Animated Series, bootlegged X-Men Complete Animated Series, Spawn the Ultimate Collection, Gargoyles Season 1, Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 1 and 2, Star Wars Episode 1-3, shitty bootleg Star Wars Episode 4-6, and high-quality bootleg Star Wars Episode 4-6 in white sleeves.
Fourth shelf: Harry Potter 1-3, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Escape from New York, Pitch Black, Serenity (joy!), War of the Worlds (1953 version), Heavy Metal/Heavy Metal 2000 Box set, space for my Firefly Complete Series Box (currently on loan to my sister, who is taking for fucking ever to watch it), deodorant, case for my bling, and my alarm clock.
You can see a little bit of what's on the fifth shelf in this pic, but it's clearer in the next one.



Fifth shelf: Lego AT-AT, Lego Troop Carrier or some shit from Episode 3, Lego Droid Carrier or some shit from Episode 1, The Light Fantastic, Equal Rites, Mort, Sourcery, Reaper Man, Small Gods, Lords and Ladies, Men at Arms, Soul Music, and Feet of Clay all by Terry Pratchett.
Sixth shelf: Harry Potter 1-5 by J.K. Rowling, Irrational Exuberance by Robert J. Schiller, I, Robot by Isaac Asimov, Interesting Times, Maskerade, and Hogfather all by Terry Pratchett, and the Lord of the Rings Collection by J.R.R. Tolkien.
Seventh shelf: V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd, Fray by Joss Whedon, Tales of the Slayers and Tales of the Vampires by Joss Whedon et al, Seven Seasons of Buffy and Five Seasons of Angel edited by Glenn Yeffeth, Finding Serenity edited by Jane Espenson, The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, a spot for The Colour of Magic (which I'm currently re-reading), Wyrd Sisters, and Moving Pictures all by Terry Pratchett, The Sin City Collection 1-7 2nd Edition by Frank Miller, Jingo, The Last Continent, and Carpe Jugulum all by Terry Pratchett.

There you have it. I've got a drawer with porn in it, too, but that's not so much geeky as it is disconcerting to Christians, fundies, and repressed people everywhere.

Online gaming: Niche Market?

I'm not talking about MMOs, here, that's obviously not a niche market, but regular, run of the mill, online PC games. Whether it be a shooter, strategy, or RPG, isn't it usually more fun online, with other people? Maybe not with random people, who are usually dicks, but playing strategy games like Civ 4, or RPGs like NWN are way more fun with friends than with the single player game. Even non-online multiplayer, like over LAN, is more fun than single player in a lot of games.

But apparently, I'm in the minority of PC gamers. I've been having so much fun with Civ 4, I thought I might give Galactic Civilations II a try. Until I noticed that there's no multiplayer. Not even hotseat. WTF? So I checked a thread on the main site's board titled "Multiplayer in expansion." It was a user created poll asking if people wanted multiplayer to be added in an expansion. Out of 33 replies, about 3 people wanted online multiplayer, and 10 or 12 wanted LAN or hotseat multiplayer. The rest were adamantly against any sort of multiplayer.

What? Why? That doesn't make any sense to me. How can playing against the AI be more fun (after a certain point) than playing with other humans? And why would you prefer hotseat/LAN play when you could have internet play? Then you can play with your friends no matter where they are, and you don't have to lug your rig anywhere. How bad of a shut-in do you have to be where even online human interaction is a bit too invasive for you? Christ.

Sunday Night Already?

Damn, and it seemed like my weekend just got started. Oh well.

Something damn cool happened this weekend. I got to catch up a little via phone and IM with Josh Richardson, who I haven't seen in probably 5 years. What's more, I can now say I know someone who works in the comics industry. How many people can say that, huh?

So Josh has a blog of his own called In the Trenches, "A wartime journal from the frontlines of the comic industry." He's been writing this column since December of 2004. Unfortunately, it seems this incarnation of the blog only goes back to December of 2005. I wish I knew where the archives were hosted, because I got a look at the very first column and it's a damn interesting read.

Also, I love my speakers. I can't wait to get a 360 hooked up to these things and bust some faces in Knockout Kings...I mean Fight Night.

And Now...

It's time for a post where I pimp rad stuff because it rocks the house.

I recently purchased a set of these bad boys. Hot damn, these are some awesome speakers. I'd been subsisting on a shitty set of $30 Logitech speakers, that had been popping and cracking as of late. But THX certified? With a subwoofer that's bigger than my whole damn case? That's friggin sweet.

If you're interested in picking up a set, you can get them cheaper than $180, of course.

Also, Bill posted his first impressions of Fight Night, and now I want a copy. So as soon as my tax refund is transferred into my checking account, it's 360 time, bitches.

Fight Night

So the first reviews have hit for Fight Night Round 3, the only X360 game so far that I felt could actually be worth buying. Unfortunately, IGN says the AI is retarded, but it's a great game nonetheless. I find that hard to believe. The game could be stellar in every regard, but if the AI is broken, it's not a great game. It's not even a good game, and it certainly wouldn't be worthy of a purchase.

However, since I trust the word of, say, Bill Harris much more than I do any of the standard gaming sites, I'm waiting on his review. That will tell me if I should begin my search for a 360 in earnest, or wait until we're closer to the release of Oblivion.

Note to Self

Stick to the plan. Don't be gullible. Don't be persuaded by empty promises. Have a clear goal in mind. Carry through. Stick to the fucking plan.

It was supposed to be simple. Call up the credit card company, close the line of credit. After all, you have two other major credit cards (the only two that matter), who needs a third? Sure, you're carrying balances on those cards, but it's a low, fixed APR for the life of the balance. And the new purchase APR is also fixed, and quite low compared to what some people pay (especially those with bad credit, poor bastards). Call up, close the credit line.

But wait. I can't do that, sir, I have to transfer you to an account manager.

Translation: I need to transfer you to our pressure people who are only paid because they can convince people to stay.

Dammit. All I wanted to do was close the fucking credit line. So let's do it. But wait.

Are you carrying balances on other cards? Is it a lot of money? I can do a balance transfer for you. I can give you a great APR. Not good enough? How's 0% sound? We have to lock it in now. Oh, your existing credit line isn't big enough for the whole balance, but we can increase it. Too bad the system that does that is down for the night. How about we transfer part of it, request the increase tomorrow, and then transfer the rest?

Oh, great! I suppose that would work. I wouldn't be getting rid of a card I didn't need and don't use, ever, but I'd be saving money, and would have one less bill to pay every month. Go ahead and do it.

Thank you, sir, check back tomorrow for the credit line increase.

I check back the next day.

Ok, we'll just go through this application for a credit line increase, submit it, and have the results in 24 hours. Call back tomorrow.

I call back tonight.

I'm sorry, sir, it looks like the request was denied. But you have until April 25 to transfer balances at that low 0% rate.

FUCK! What the fuck happened to: We'll increase the credit line and get the rest of your balance transferred over? What happened to: If you submit the full application, we'll do a credit check and get your line increased? Did you check my credit? I doubt it, cause if you had, you'd have found out I've got a credit score of 822. My credit report is fucking rock solid, so you obviously didn't look at it. I haven't missed a goddamn payment on any fucking card in over 4 years. Four years. I've held your worthless card for 4 years, and haven't even used it in the past 2. Who the fuck are you to deny anything that I ask for?

We're glad you decided to stay with us, sir, we're actually one of the harder cards to get approved for.

Oh, really? So fucking what? I wipe my ass with your holier-than-thou attitude. I don't need your bullshit. As soon as one of my other, low-brow cards offers me a good rate on a balance transfer, you can go suck it. Then I'm cancelling your card, and will not be persuaded otherwise. Good day, sir.

EDIT: After not much thought, I decided to call up one of my less-cultured credit card companies and see what sort of balance transfer rate they'd offer me. What do you know? They'll do a 2% APR for life, with no credit line increase necessary, and no other catches, clauses, or hidden bullshit. You know what 2% APR is? That's jack shit, and close enough to 0 for me. Fuck you, you credit card snob assholes. I'm getting my balance back on the card that actually gives a shit about me, the customer, and not solely about their bottom line.

EDIT2: I had another line of credit (a simple charge account) that I wanted to close, so I called up their customer service line. Went through the IVR system, and got to: If you would like to close your account, press 1. I pressed 1. You have requested to close your account. To continue, press 1. I pressed 1. Your account has been closed. For written confirmation that your account has been closed, press 7. I pressed 7. Your confirmation letter will be sent within 7 days. Thank you, goodbye. Wam, bam, thank you, ma'am. How fucking hard is that? Jesus Christ, you don't have to make people jump through fucking hoops, and pressure them into balance transfers when they want to close their accounts, because you're just going to piss them off.

Who's in charge of these Nielsen boxes?

And why don't they give them to people who have brains? Or at least can tell the difference between good TV and shitty TV? Seriously.

Take a look at this.

From the top down, we've got reality show bullshit (I admit it, I used to watch American Idol. But after watching my favorite contestant get the shaft 3 years in a row, I'm done), crime drama bullshit, medical drama bullshit, horny housewife bullshit (I'd watch it if it was on cable), more medical drama bullshit, Olympic bullshit (seriously, who gives a fuck about the winter Olympics? Curling is not a sport, goddammit), more crime drama bullshit, more reality show bullshit (Dancing with the Stars? Who the hell is watching Dancing with the Stars and how did their brains even learn human speech?), more crime drama bullshit, and then Lost. Then there's just more bullshit to round out the top 20.

1 out of 20 is some bad odds. And I bet if that list was expanded to the top 50, or top 100, I don't think it would get better. So we come back to my original question. Why are these Nielsen media researchers handing out their boxes to fucking morons who can't tell their ass from a hole in the ground?

More Stuff

If you haven't been reading the Virtual Firefly episodes over at StillFlying.net, you're missing out. They're up to episode 1x20, with two more to go to finish off the first season. They'll be back in early Spring with Season 2. I, personally, can't wait, cause this stuff isn't run-of-the-mill shitty fanfiction, it's pretty damn good.

I've also got an update on the 360 release calendar. Those games I'd never heard of (The Darkness, Demonik, Dead Rising) all slipped to who knows where. Saint's Row slipped, too, to 6/1, but I think it will slip again, since that's clearly a "we don't know when this game's coming out" date. Splinter Cell Double Agent also slipped to the middle of the year. I don't know when exactly it will come out, but 2nd or 3rd quarter sounds right.

Surprisingly, there are many games that haven't slipped. Full Auto is still slated for Valentine's Day, with Fight Night Round 3 the next week. Burnout Revenge the first week of March, Oblivion on 3/20, it's looking good (finally) for the X360. I've also noticed that consoles are becoming much more available online and in stores, but I'm still waiting for the day when I can walk into Best Buy and grab one off the shelf, because that's how I plan to buy mine.

And in football news, I read today that for Monday Night Football on ESPN next year, the broadcast team will consist of Joe Theismann, Tony Kornheiser, and Mike Tirico. I think it's safe to assume that Tirico will be handling the play by play, Theismann is the analyst, and Kornheiser will be color. Sounds like a great team to me, and I'm already looking forward to next season (psst, I think the Raiders will finish a bit better than 4-12, especially if they have The Whiz at the helm).

Stuff

I picked the Super Bowl winner correctly, and that's something. I didn't even really watch it, just the second half. I think that's the first Super Bowl in a long time that I haven't watched. I mean, really watched, as a rabid fan. I just didn't care about the teams that were in it, positively or negatively. There's been a lot of talk about officiating, though. Alls I can say to that is: welcome to the club, Seattle.

The other reason I didn't catch the big game until the first half was over is because Civilization 4 had me held hostage. Damn, that's like the most addictive game ever. I didn't get into computing early enough to experience Civ 2 binges, but I hear that they were epic in scale. If you've got 40 bucks and a desire, nay, a need, to waste all your free time researching technology, settling new cities, and waging war, you should pick up Civ 4.

Finally, I just finished reading Fray, a damn fine graphic novel from the mind of Joss Whedon. Holy shit if it wasn't awesome. I want more, just like I want more Buffy, more Angel, more Firefly, and more everything Joss has ever done. Except for Alien 4. Did you know he also wrote the screenplay for Titan A.E.? I knew there was a reason that movie was more than just crappy, non-Disney animated shlock.

I hope the Super Bowl is actually a competition

Because the Conference Championship games were over in the 2nd quarter. I couldn't have picked the winners more wrongly (0 for 2), but I'm going to make my prediction for the Super Bowl right now, before I've heard anything from the analysts, or the coaches, or the players, or any armchair quarterbacks. The Steelers will lift the Lombardi Trophy for Super Bowl XL.

Here's why: The Steelers (who were the 6th seed) beat the #3 seed (the Bengals), the #1 seed (the Colts), and the #2 seed (the Broncos) to get to the Super Bowl. All they have to do now is beat the #1 seed in the NFC, the Seahawks. And the NFC teams just aren't the same caliber of the AFC teams.

I just checked the analysts on Yahoo Sports, and they're saying Pittsburgh is the favorite. Good to know I'm not totally off base with my reasoning.

X360 Update

So the holiday rush is over, and Microsoft's supply of Xboxes is still short. But the ridiculously overinflated prices on eBay are coming down, which means one of two things: either the folks that were willing to pay ridiculous prices already have their Xboxes, and what's left are normal people willing to pay normal prices, or people are losing interest all together and exiting the market.

I don't think it's the latter. After all, the 360 was the "hot" toy for Christmas, and now that it's January, no one in their right mind would be willing to pay in excess of a grand for a gaming console and 3 or 4 games.

So what does this mean? It means two things. One, there's not much of a premium for buying a system at retail price and reselling it on eBay, which means Xboxes sold at retail are being sold to the end user. In other words, the demand isn't artificially inflated by folks just looking to make an arbitrage profit. This leads to two, which is that I should be able to get my hands on an Xbox when I want it, when the good apps finally hit.

Which brings me to the release calendar. There are a million of them, and you can't trust any one source. I'm looking at EBGames, Gamefly, and IGN.

First off, EBGames has a handful of titles I've never even heard of (The Darkness, Demonik, Dead Rising) listed as releasing on 1/31/06. Bullshit. The first date that seems credible on their list is Full Auto, 2/14/06, because it's the same (or similar) on the other two sites. EB also lists Fight Night Round 3 as 2/14/06, but the others have it down for 2/23/06.

The next game on EB's list is one I'm looking forward to with much anticipation, Saint's Row. They have 3/1/06. I'm no expert, but games usually come out on Tuesday. March 1 is a Wednesday, and there's no way in hell Saint's Row is hitting in March. IGN also has 3/1, but Gamefly lists TBD. As much as I wish it was March, it's not gonna happen.

All three lists have The Outfit and Burnout: Revenge around the middle of March. The next biggie is Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, which all 3 lists have at 3/20. I haven't heard anything about it being pushed back, so if this is the case, March 20 may be when I get a 360.

And right around the corner (supposedly) is Splinter Cell 4: Double Agent. Hot shit, I loves me some Splinter Cell. EB has it at 4/1, Gamefly is 3/31, and IGN lists Q2 2006. That says to me, it'll release sometime between the first day of April and the last day of June, so don't hold your breath.

After that, it gets too far out to tell with any certainty, and it's clear the lists are grasping at straws. Prey is slated for sometime in June, The Godfather and Gears of War maybe July, Scarface is...sometime, and Halo 3 is in there somewhere, probably around November (or whenever the PS3 launch date is, assuming it's sometime in 2006).

A Point of Correction

I've referred to Bones as "the best crime drama I've ever seen" in this blog (twice, actually), but I'd like to correct that statement.

You see, I forgot about the critically-acclaimed, scarcely-watched, and ultimately short-lived Boomtown. It starred Donnie Wahlberg (of Band of Brothers and New Kids fame), and is, by far, the best crime drama I've ever seen. There were about 7 or 8 main characters, and we got to know them all over the course of the show. The most interesting thing about it was that each episode looked at one crime from a number of different points of view (the beat cops, the paramedics, the detectives, the D.A., the journalist, etc.), so that by the end of the episode, you figured out what happened just when everyone on the show did. Unfortunately, test audiences or something didn't like that setup, so they ditched if for a more traditional flow, and the show's second season bombed 2 episodes in. They've released the first season on DVD, and it's definitely worth picking up.

To recap: Bones is the second best crime drama I've ever seen.

What?

Fuck.

Dammit all to hell.

Son of a bitch.

FUCK!

I just got taken on a roller coaster ride, and ended up with the mental equivalent of vomit all over myself. Why is it that I'm always disappointed at the end of the football season? Why does a game I love so much have to kick me in the balls every single year? Let me give you a rundown of the past few seasons.

2001-2: After years of lounging around in mediocrity, the Raiders are finally in the playoffs and looking to go all the way, only to be knocked out in New England on a bullshit "tuck-rule" call that is, was, and will always be a goddamn fumble.

2002-3: This time, there are no Patriots to fuck things up, but Tampa Bay and Coach Gruden manage to fuck it up anyway, and take a Super Bowl victory away from my team.

2003-4: With no shot at the Raiders making the playoffs, I jump on the Colts bandwagon (they're my Dad's team). But they meet those bastard Patriots in the Conference Championship game and go home losers.

2004-5: Once again, the Raiders miss the playoffs by a mile, and the Colts are riding high with a record setting Peyton Manning, an incredible offense, but no defense to speak of. They meet the Patriots again, this time in a Divisional game, and go home losers for the second time in as many years.

2005-6: The "What the hell's wrong with the Raiders" question can wait until later. The Colts got off to a stellar 13-0 start, and their defense was one of the main reasons. They ended up with a first round bye and home field advantage throughout the playoffs, only to...lose a heartbreaker to the Pittsburg Steelers, who are the number 6 seed. That's not supposed to happen, goddammit. I thought all the talk about Peyton Manning not being able to win a big game was bullshit until now. I think he's a fantastic regular season QB, probably the best in the league. But come playoff time, he can't get it done. The circumstances were pretty much perfect, and now he has to sit at home until next season.

P.S. Turns out I was 2-2 for my picks this weekend. After the Colts travesty, I didn't even bother watching the Panthers-Bears game, but the Panthers won by 8 or something. Picks for next weekend? Not that I really care, but I'll take the Broncos over the Steelers, and the Panthers over the Seahawks. If Shawn Alexander plays, the Seahawks may win, but if he doesn't, the 'Hawks are done.

...And Justice For All

I was going to wait until tomorrow to make this post, but I can't help it. The Patriots are loooooooo-sers! Loooooooo-sers! Looooo-sers! Losersayswhat? Take that, assholes. Fuck New England, fuck Tom Brady, fuck Corey Dillon, fuck Adam Vinatieri, fuck Tedy Bruschi, fuck Willie McGinest, and fuck Deion Branch.

There's going to be a whole lot of talk about the pass interference call that gave Denver the ball on the 1-yard line, but they still won by 14. And even if that call was different, even if Champ Bailey did fumble into the end-zone on his interception return, so what? You know what that is? That's fucking justice, baby. That's justice for that bullshit "tuck-rule" call four years ago, Brady. That's fucking karma coming back around to bite you in your stupid ass. Suck on that, Patriots. You've got the whole off season to bitch and whine now. And here's a big middle finger to all the sports writers and analysts that didn't give Denver a chance in hell to beat the beloved New England Patriots. I bet that crow tastes real nice.

For those of you keeping score, I'm 2 and 0 so far this weekend, because the Seahawks beat the Redskins in the early game.

More Virtual Firefly

In what appears to be a weekly (every Thursday night) update, episode 1x18 of the Virtual Firefly series is up. There's also the "official" website that has the episodes in .pdf format, real purty like. I don't see the latest episode there yet, so be sure to read it off the blog if you can't wait.

Me, I'm so damn tired I've gotta wait, even though I really don't want to.

People's Choice Awards

Normally, I hate awards shows. In fact, scratch that, I always hate awards shows. Nothing but pompous, spoiled, and overpaid actors, directors, and producers having a circle jerk. The only awards show that I can remotely tolerate is the People's Choice Awards, because it's the fans voting for their favorites. You know, the fans that actually pay the money and spend the time to watch the "stars" do their thing? The people who are the very reason that celebrities are famous?

Anyway, the People's Choice Awards were last night. The only award I gave a damn about was Favorite New TV Comedy, because My Name Is Earl was nominated. Those who know me know that my favorite actor, by far, is Jason Lee. He's known primarily for comedy, but he's more than capable of doing drama as well. When I first heard that he was going to star in his own TV show, I knew that it would be his chance to show people (and when I say people, I mean big-time movie producers and directors) that he had serious chops. He hasn't disappointed, and by snagging the award, I think it's fair to say that the fans love him.

So big ups to Jason Lee. He's ten times the actor that other, much more famous Scientologist is.

PSP: WTF?

First of all, let me say that I considered buying a PSP just to play GTA: Liberty City Stories. Until I looked at the price, and realized I didn't feel like plunking down 300+ bucks just to play the new GTA game.

And don't even think about pulling that shit about how you can do so much more with a PSP than play games on it. I can wait until I get home to watch a movie or surf the internet.

But enough about the PSP itself. This post is actually about the new ads for the PSP. I'm sure you've seen at least one of them. Black and white, pencil drawn animation, with talking rats, squirrels, dustballs, or fucking turds, who knows. Let me give you the basic formula.

Animal/Inanimate Object 1: What are you doing?
Animal/Inanimate Object 2: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm watching/listening/playing/jizzing to/with/on nut/cheese/carpet/your mom!
Animal/Inanimate Object 1: Don't you know they have portable nut/cheese/carpet/my mom?
Animal/Inanimate Object 2: No way! Really?
Animal/Inanimate Object 1: Yeah. It's like nut/cheese/carpet/my mom you can watch/listen/play/jizz to/with/on...outside!
Announcer: PSP. It's like nut/cheese/carpet/somebody's mom you can watch/listen/play/jizz to/with/on...outside.

So WTF? Does Sony really think that shit's going to move PSP's? I'll tell you what would move PSP's. Lowering the fucking price. Can't do that because the components involved are too expensive? Too fucking bad, you're the dickholes who thought people wanted another NGage. Remember the NGage, Sony? Nobody bought it because it sucked ass. And it was actually affordable, unlike the PSP. Fuck, if I wanted to pay 300+ bucks to play games, I'd buy a fucking console. Jesus.

Ready for some football?

Wild Card Weekend is over, and while I correctly predicted there would be 3 upsets, I was mistaken about which teams would be involved in those upsets. I was confident that the Washington Redskins would prevail over the Tampa Bay "Yuks," and the Pittsburg Steelers would beat the Cincinnati "Bungles," but I also figured that there would be no way the NY Giants would let the Carolina Panthers blank them at home, and that the Jacksonville Jaguars would manage to beat the New England Patriots at Foxborough.

Of course, since I didn't get around to posting those predictions on this blog, you'll have to take my word that I correctly predicted the outcomes of 2 of the 4 games, and that there would be 3 total upsets.

Now, let's look forward to the Divisional games next weekend.

Redskins at Seattle Seahawks. Sorry, Coach Gibbs, you're not going any farther this year. It'll be close, but the Seahawks will come away with the victory.

Patriots at Denver Broncos. So the Pats squeaked into the playoffs, came away with a win against a team that is a shadow of it's former self, and now everyone's lining up to suck Tom Brady's cock again? No thanks. The Patriots haven't beaten a good team yet, and they're not going to start now. Broncos FTW (for teh win).

Steelers at Indianapolis Colts. The Colts started the season 13 and 0, and they're still the best team in the NFL. They've also got Peyton Manning running the offense. Enough said. Colts win a barn burner.

Panthers at Chicago Bears. Sure, the Panthers have Steve Smith, but he's going up against the Bear's D. Just like earlier this season, the Bears will beat the Panthers.

So there you have it. No upsets, which is why you play for that first round bye. Tune in next week to see how accurate these predictions were.

Still Flyin'...Sort of

It's time for a Firefly/Serenity update. First off, were you aware there's a porn star named Serenity? She's fucking hot, too. I'd be her captain anyday.

Secondly, I checked up on the fanfic virtual seasons I posted about earlier this week, and to my chagrin, one of them's disappeared. And I never did get around to reading it. Oh well, the other one's still going, and they recently posted Episode 17.

Finally, I heard tell that FUX (you like that? See, it's a jab at FOX where I change a letter and it sounds like "fucks." I think it's hilarious) is going to bring back Futurama. They cite DVD sales and repeat airings as reasons it's gained new fans, and hence, a new life.

Wait, what? I don't know official numbers here, but have the Futurama DVDs sold as well as Firefly has? Because if they haven't, what the fuck? Has there been a Futurama feature film, along with a DVD of said film that's been at the top of Amazon's sales rankings since it came out? I don't think so. Futurama licks donkey balls, and it's going to slime it's way back onto television? Fuck that. Fuck you, FUX. That's bullshit.