Unnecessary Roughness

Christmas Haul 2010

2010-12-22T15:38:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, bitches! It's that time again, and like last year, in addition to listing the awesome loot I've received, I'm also going to list the totally bad-ass gifts I've given to others. Again, not to show how generous I may or may not be, but because I like giving gifts as much as, if not more than, I do receiving them. Here are the gifts I've given this year, in no particular order:

Lots and lots of Glee: The Music (Volume 3, Journey, and the Rocky Horror Glee show). Seriously, lots of Glee. Several copies of each.

Glee: Season 1 (DVD). Glee, yo. It's awesome.

Family Game Night 3 (Xbox 360). Classic Hasbro board games, now in convenient electronic form!

Rock Band 3 (PS3, Xbox 360, and Wii). Yo, Guitar Hero, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but Rock Band 3 is the best band game in the world. IN THE WORLD! That meme's still fresh, right?

iPhone App Magnets. They're magnets for your fridge that look like the iPhone App icons. Geeky and practical!

COPIC Pens and Markers. The Cadillac of art supplies.

Casio WK-210 Keyboard. A joint gift, but a gift nonetheless. Child-like glee, right here.

RobotMan and Stellar plush figures. From the 80's. Go here if you don't remember them.

Laser-etched crystal "Wolf Howling at the Moon" carving and lighted display base. Ooooh, pretty.

First edition hardcover copy of "Through the Ice" signed and personalized by the author, Piers Anthony. Fuck yeah. This is definitely the most epic gift I have ever had the pleasure of giving.

MySims Sky Heroes (Wii). The kids love this crap.

Chemistry Set. For my niece, a geek girl gamer in training. She is going to make some young geek out there very happy one day.

Origami book and paper. If I weren't such a spaz with creative arts, I would totally do origami. It looks like a shit-ton of fun.

San Francisco Giants 2010 World Series Championship Hat. Yay Giants! I may not be a fan of baseball anymore, but their playoff run and eventual championship was extremely compelling.

Amazon Kindle e-book reader. I have seriously contemplated one of these for myself.

Garmin GPS with friction-based dashboard mount. Never be lost again!

Assorted makeup from Sephora. The ladies love makeup from Sephora.

And now, here's what I received, again in no particular order:

"Obsessed with Star Wars" Quiz book. 2500 questions about all 6 Star Wars films. So geeky, and so awesome.

"Last Words," by George Carlin. Carlin was the man.

"The Areas of My Expertise," by John Hodgman. Funny shit right here.

$25 gift card to Best Buy. From the dipshit coworker who was surprisingly upset about my leaving. I kinda feel bad now. Wait, no, no I don't.

$25 gift card to Target. This place and Best Buy are the only two brick and mortar stores I shop at. Fuck yeah.

Lego Star Destroyer. Shit yeah! This baby kicks some serious ass.

Evil League of Evil t-shirt. "Seriously not good guys." LOL

Tusken Raiders logo t-shirt. Combining two of my favorite things: Star Wars and the Oakland Raiders. OMG so much win.

Jayne's leather bracelet from Firefly/Serenity. Two words: Bad. Ass.

Glee CD Board game. lololol.

"Gonzo Gizmos" project book. Make a gauss rifle out of stuff found around the house? Yes.

Reese's Peanut Butter Trees. OMG OMG OMG, I love these. If this was all I received this Christmas, I would be happy. No, seriously. They're THAT good.

Forza 2 (Xbox 360). Yay, racing! Forza is way better than Gran Turismo.

My Name is Earl, Season 3 and Season 4 (DVD). Jason Lee! As Kevin Smith is my favorite director, Jason Lee is my favorite actor.

The Tick vs Season 2 (DVD). Evil doers, you face The Tick! I'm so disappointed there haven't been more DVD releases for this awesome show.

Toy Story 3 (Blu Ray). And the trilogy is complete! I haven't seen this yet because I missed it in theatres. But I heard it is fucking awesome, and Pixar doesn't disappoint...ever.

Batman: Under the Red Hood (Blu Ray). NPH! John DiMaggio! Jensen Ackles! Good stuff.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Blu Ray). One of the few Tim Burton flicks I actually like.

Back to the Future Trilogy (Blu Ray). 1.21 Jigawatts! Great Scott! Love these movies. Plus, it comes with a voucher for the first episode of the new game for FREE.

"Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction" project book. Build a BB gun out of a mechanical pencil, or a siege catapult out of clothespins? Fuck yes.

Glee: The Music Volume 4. Yay, Glee!

"Changes" by Jim Butcher. Book 12 in the Dresden Files series. Harry Dresden kicks serious ass.

That's it. A ton of cool stuff, both given and received. I wish everyone a safe and sane holiday season. Peace, bitches!

Bioshock 2 (PS3) First Impressions

2010-05-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here, trying to play Bioshock 2, and I can't. It's in my PS3 and running, but nothing's happening. Let me back up.

About 20 minutes ago, I put the disc in. After first downloading and installing a patch (maybe 3 minutes, total), the game started. But then it had to install. I was treated to some clever posters from Rapture and some suitable time period music while I waited. The 2 minute or so music clip ended and started over at least a half dozen times. There was no progress bar while I waited for the install. Finally, with that done, I was able to choose to start a new single player game on Medium difficulty. The screen then went black and some music started playing.

"Ok, ambience," I thought. "After a few seconds, there's going to be an explosion or something, and it'll drop me into the game." I waited. And waited. And waited some more. When I started typing this, I had been waiting for at least 90 seconds. As I've typed this, the music has continued playing, and then stopped about three sentences back. The screen's still black.

Bioshock 2, you do not impress me positively one bit so far. I am, however, very much negatively impressed.

D&D Post #9 plus Annotations

2010-02-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

The D&D campaign has ended as of last night. But! There's still more logs to post. Here's one from September.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer who has now been named, but I can't remember it, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

This log is available in two parts as streaming audio or mp3 download. Each part runs a little over 2 hours, with the whole session clocking in at about 4 hours and 40 minutes.

Enjoy!

Streaming:
Part 1

Part 2

Download:
Get Part 1 Here
Get Part 2 Here

Here are the annotations for this session, #9.

Part 1
“Move along, move along. These aren't the statues you're looking for.” 19:30 – Pop culture reference, “Star Wars: A New Hope” film. Obi Wan told the Stormtroopers that these weren't the droids they were looking for, and that they could move along.
“She can't take any more, Cap'n! I don't have the power!” 1:52:10 – Pop culture reference, “Star Trek” TV show. Scotty, the engineer, said this often about the Enterprise.

Part 2
“Did you just say 'Abe Lincoln?' Nah, man, I said 'Hey, Blinken!” 0:12 – Pop culture reference, “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” film. We go on to talk about Monty Python and the Holy Grail, as well as The Princess Bride, which are both awesome movies. You should go see them if you haven't yet.
“It would have worked. If it weren't for you meddling kids!” 57:15 – Pop culture reference, “Scooby Doo” cartoons. Said by every single villain ever after being caught by the Scooby Gang.

D&D Post #8 plus Annotations

2010-02-06T12:58:00.000-08:00

Still behind on the logs. This is another one from August.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer who has now been named, but I can't remember it, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

This log is available as streaming audio or mp3 download. It runs about 3 hours.

Enjoy!

Streaming:

Download:
Get It Here

Here are the annotations for this session, #8.

“It's an aluminum straw.” 5:57 – From 7-11. It's seriously bad ass. Great with milkshakes, slushes, pretty much any cold drink. And it's only a dollar!
“All we have to do is point to Heath.” 10:30 – I was wearing a shirt that said, “That's what she said.”
“Because it was huge....Thank you.” 21:54 – During the pause, Kevin pointed at my shirt.
“Holy shit, that is massive..... *laughing*” 22:55 - Kevin pointed to my shirt again.
“I have something in my throat..... *more laughing*” 30:32 - Again with the shirt. It's the joke that never gets old.
“So Kevin doesn't like beer.” 40:03 - Kevin had just tried some Sam Adams Boston Lager and made a face like he had seen Two Girls One Cup. Or possibly participated in Two Girls One Cup.
“Like in Empire. The snow speeders around the AT-ATs.” 1:02:48 – Pop culture reference, “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.” Luke defeated the giant AT-AT walkers by firing his tow rope at their legs then flying around them, wrapping up their legs until they fell over.
“The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly over here.” 1:45:28 – Pop culture reference, “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.” In the film, the Man with No Name played two factions against each other for his own gain.
“Yeah, I guess I'll have to do that.” “He won't.” 2:33:44 – I haven't done that.
“What do you mean 'these people?' What do you mean 'these people?' Huh?” 2:36:48 – Pop culture reference, “Tropic Thunder.” Robert Downey Jr is the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.
“Well, whatever. Just start it.” 2:38:05 – I cut the audio that immediately followed. It was from this video clip.

2009 NFL Playoffs: Conference Championship Results and Super Bowl Prediction

2010-01-24T20:48:00.000-08:00

Only one game left this season, and it should be a great one. Before that, though, there were two great games this weekend.

Colts 30, Jets 17
Did I call this, or did I call this? A hard fought battle, and the Jets had control of the game for almost the entire first half. Even after Peyton Manning put together a masterful scoring drive in the 2-minute drill at the end of the first half, the Jets still had their shots in the second half. I have tremendous respect for Darrelle Revis, Mark Sanchez, and the rest of the Jets. They'll be back next year, mark my words. For now, though, the Colts are going to the Super Bowl again, and you've gotta like their chances.

Saints 31, Vikings 28 (OT)
Emotionally draining. That's what this game was. Not as high scoring as I thought it could be (although nearly 60 points between them certainly isn't low scoring), but it was back and forth, in part because neither team held onto the ball particularly well. Ultimately, it came down to overtime, which I can't stand. The Vikings never got the ball, and thanks to some questionable calls (I'm speaking of the pass interference call on what looked to be an un-catchable ball, not to mention the almost complete lack of contact; as well as the completion to Colston that looked like a bobbled ball that hit the ground), the Saints kicked a 40 yard field goal to win it. Whether or not he's back next year, I have tremendous respect for Brett Favre. He showed that he is one of the toughest QBs to play the game, and he never stopped playing to win. But I have to also give credit to the Saints. They did what they've done all season, which is score a lot of points and play just enough defense to win.

2009 Playoff Prediction Record: 9-1

Super Bowl XLIV: Indianapolis Colts vs New Orleans Saints
The number 1 seed in the AFC against the number 1 seed in the NFC. The perrenial playoff team against the team that has previously never been to the big game. No huddle against no huddle. Fast, swarming, attacking defense against the bend but don't break defense. Aerial offense against aerial offense. This is going to be high scoring, high offense, up and down the field all day. The winner will be the team that plays better defense, and I think that's going to be Peyton's team. Manning, that is. Colts win.

Check back in two weeks for the Super Bowl result.

Martin Luther King, Jr

2010-01-18T17:56:00.000-08:00

I can't say it better than Bill Harris.

Dr. King himself.

2009 NFL Playoffs: Divisional Results and Conference Championship Predictions

2010-01-17T17:01:00.000-08:00

I just picked a perfect weekend. That's never happened before. While I thought going into the last game we could see the Conference Championship games be held between the 1 and 2 seeded teams, we've got an interloper, and I couldn't be any happier about that. Here's the rundown for this weekend's Divisional games, and my predictions for next weekend's Conference Championship games.

Saints 45, Cardinals 14
Arizona gave up 90 points over two playoff games. Not surprising that they're headed home. I have a feeling the Saints won't have such an easy time of it next week, but for now, they're playing at least one more game.

Colts 20, Ravens 3
Ok, so this game wasn't as close as I thought it was going to be. The Ravens made too many stupid mistakes, and when they did do something right, the Colts turned it around on them.

Vikings 34, Cowboys 3
The Cowboys were hot, but they got cold pretty damn quick. I don't care what anybody says, Jerry Jones is not happy with Wade Phillips right now. Also, this is the third game this weekend that the rested team was not rusty at all. It was also the last time this weekend that was the case.

Jets 17, Chargers 14
San Diego *clap clap* Super Chokers! The Jets scored 17 unanswered points in the middle of the two Chargers TDs. LT couldn't do anything, Rivers threw two picks, and the Jets went for it on 4th and 1 at the end of the game when they were in field goal range. Why? Because they played to win, and that's just what they did.

2009 Playoff Prediction Record: 7-1

Now on to next week's games.

NFC

2 Minnesota Vikings at 1 New Orleans Saints
Brett Favre vs Drew Brees. Adrian Peterson vs Reggie Bush. Sidney Rice vs Marques Colston. This game will be a shootout, and while I would like to see Favre go to one more Super Bowl, I would also like to see the Saints get their time in the spotlight. I think it will come down to the home team getting the win and moving on. Saints win a back and forth game.

AFC

5 New York Jets at 1 Indianapolis Colts
I really like Mark Sanchez, and Rex Ryan, and just the way the Jets play in general. They've got a great defense, they run the ball, and they smack you in the mouth. I also really like Peyton Manning and the Colts. They've got a swarming defense, and Number 18 manages the game and picks apart defenses like no other QB I've ever seen. Sorry, Sanchez, you'll have another shot at it. This is Manning's time. Colts win a hard fought battle.

Check back next week for results and my Super Bowl prediction.

Audio Blog #1

2010-01-15T20:37:00.000-08:00

2009 NFL Playoffs: Wild Card Results and Divisional Predictions

2010-01-14T18:43:00.000-08:00

I correctly picked two upsets, but failed to get the hat trick. In my defense, who knew the Cardinals could score like that? Here's the rundown for this weekend's Wild Card games, and my picks for next weekend's Divisional games.

Jets 24, Bengals 14
There are a lot of good young QBs in the league right now, and Mark Sanchez is one of them. Granted, he got a lot of help from the running game and his team's defense, but he made the throws when they counted.

Cowboys 34, Eagles 14
And the Cowboys finally win a playoff game. Does that mean Wade Phillips gets to keep his job? Or only if they win the Super Bowl? We shall see.

Ravens 33, Patriots 14
Suck on that, Brady! Suck on that, Belichick! This game was actually over by the midpoint of the first quarter, but I enjoyed every damn minute of it.

Cardinals 51, Packers 45
The highest scoring playoff game ever goes to the Cardinals on a strip-sack fumble in OT. Heartbreaking for Packer fans, but damn if it wasn't an entertaining game.

2009 Playoff Prediction Record: 3-1

Now on to next week's games.

NFC

4 Arizona Cardinals at 1 New Orleans Saints
This one has the potential to break the highest scoring playoff record again just one week later. The Cardinals may get Anquan Boldin back, but the Saints have Drew Brees. End of season slump aside, the Saints are good. Plus, the Cardinals clearly don't have the defense to stop them, especially in the Superdome. Saints win a barn-burner.

3 Dallas Cowboys at 2 Minnesota Vikings
Can Dallas win another playoff game? Can Favre keep his hopes of another Super Bowl alive? I'm tempted to pick the Cowboys in this one because I think they're the better team (especially right now), but I like Favre too much to pick against him. Plus, if All Day gets going, look out. Vikings win.

AFC

6 Baltimore Ravens at 1 Indianapolis Colts
Goddamn is the Ravens defense tough. Their offense, though, is piss poor. On the other side of the field you've got Number 18 and his seemingly endless pool of quality receivers, and a young, fast defense. I could agonize about this pick, but I won't. Colts squeak one out.

5 New York Jets at 2 San Diego Chargers
The safe money pick here is the Chargers. They have a good QB, a decent (if declining) RB, and a couple of good receivers. The Jets just have the number 1 defense and the number 1 running game in the league. I'm going with the Jets in another upset.

Check back next week for results and more predictions.

2009 NFL Playoffs: Wild Card Weekend

2010-01-03T22:56:00.000-08:00

It's playoff time again, and the Raiders are on the outside for the seventh straight year. The Colts are in, but so are the Chargers and Patriots. The defending Super Bowl Champs are out, as are the Super Bowl Champs from the previous year, but the defending NFC Champs are in. Lets get to the matchups and my predictions for the first round of games.

NFC

6 Philadelphia Eagles at 3 Dallas Cowboys
The Eagles only lost to very good teams this year (with the exception of the Raiders, all of them made the playoffs, although I stand by the fact that the Raiders are actually a much better team than their record shows). The Cowboys also lost to playoff caliber teams (except for the Broncos and Giants), but they beat the Raiders. For that reason alone, I'm giving this one to the Cowboys.

5 Green Bay Packers at 4 Arizona Cardinals
The Packers started the season pretty up and down, but finished strong with what would have been a string of 8 straight victories except for losing to the Steelers on the last play of the game. The Cardinals have one of the best receivers in the league and a future Hall of Fame QB. I'm picking the Packers, if only because I would love to see Packers vs Vikings one more time.

Byes: 1 New Orleans Saints and 2 Minnesota Vikings

AFC

5 New York Jets at 4 Cincinnati Bengals
Carson Palmer is a great QB. Chad Ochocinco is a great receiver. But the Bengals got beat by the Raiders. Mark Sanchez threw 20 picks this year as rookie, and his team is in the playoffs. The Jets also handed the Colts their first loss of the season. J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets win!

6 Baltimore Ravens at 3 New England Patriots
The Ravens are a tough team, even if they don't have the best record against playoff teams (only 1-6, although they beat the Raiders). As for the Patriots, any reader of this blog knows I can't stand them. Plus, they lost their number one receiver this week. Ravens win.

Byes: 1 Indianapolis Colts and 2 San Diego Chargers

Check back next week for results and more predictions.

Christmas Haul 2009

2009-12-25T14:20:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays! No, wait, screw that, it's Merry Christmas! For the past two years, I've given a run down of all the awesome stuff I've been given at Christmas time, but this year, I think I'll also list the gifts I've given to others. Not to show how generous I may or may not be, but just because I like giving gifts as much as, if not more than, I do receiving them. So without further ado, here are the gifts I've given this year, in no particular order:

Lots and lots of Glee: The Music (Volume 1 and 2). Seriously, lots of Glee. No less than 8 copies of each.

Borderlands (PS3). Possibly the best multiplayer game of 2009. I wanted to share that experience with others.

Rock Band 2 (Xbox 360). Yo, Guitar Hero, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but Rock Band 2 is the best band game in the world. IN THE WORLD!

Harry Potter 4-6 (DVD). Way better than the Lord of the Rings movies.

Spongebob Squarepants (DS). The kiddies love Spongebob.

Monsters vs Aliens (DS). I love that my niece is a gamer. Now if only I can get her to understand that movie-licensed games are pure garbage...

DJ Hero (PS2). I was very tempted to get a copy of this for myself, but then I wouldn't respect myself in the morning.

$40 in grocery store gift certificates. Part of $210 in gift certificates for the Adopt a Family the call center sponsored. They also got at least 4 gifts for each family member (7 members total), as well as several family gifts.

PS3 Slim bundle. For the Mom gamer who has pretty much everything else.

iPod Classic with home theatre dock. For the music-lover Dad.

Assorted makeup from Sephora. The ladies love makeup from Sephora.

And now, here's what I received, again in no particular order:

See's Candies Assorted Chocolates (1 lb). Mmm, chocolate.

Reese's Peanut Butter Trees. Chocolate = awesome. Peanut butter = awesome. Chocolate and peanut butter = omg so much win.

Sweatpants and sweatshirts. For lounging around the house when it's cold.

Uncharted (PS3). Treasure hunting, shooting people, and crazy acrobatic free-running. What's not to love?

Assassin's Creed (PS3). Sword fighting, assassinating people, and crazy acrobatic free-running. What's not to love?

Harry Potter 6 (DVD). Not better than Star Wars, but still pretty good.

The Guild: Season 1 and 2 (DVD). I heart Felicia Day.

Fraggle Rock: Complete Final Season (DVD). About damn time they release this on its own. It would have sucked to have to get the first three seasons over again in the "Complete Series" box set. But yay! Fraggle Rock!

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (Xbox 360). I hear the episodes didn't do too well, financially. Maybe instead of signing an exclusive deal with Microsoft, you should release your content to the whole market, eh Rockstar? Just a thought. That said, I love me some Grand Theft Auto.

An Askew View: The Films of Kevin Smith (book). What can I say? I'm a little gay for Kevin Smith.

The Hangover (Blu Ray). Funniest movie of 2009, hands down.

Inglourious Basterds (Blu Ray). Best non-comedy movie of 2009, hands down.

Star Trek (Blu Ray). I would say best sci-fi movie of 2009, but District 9 was pretty damn good, too. It's a tie.

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (Blu Ray). Bruce Timm is synonymous with awesome superhero cartoons.

Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut/Complete Experience (Blu Ray). The best superhero movie of 2009, made even better with the Director's Cut and the Tales of the Black Freighter integrated into the movie, plus Under the Hood and the Complete Motion Comic. A lot of people said Watchmen was unfilmable as a motion picture. This box set proves those people wrong.

That's it. A ton of cool stuff, both given and received. I wish everyone a safe and sane holiday season. Peace, bitches!

D&D Post #7 plus Annotations

2009-10-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

Someday I might actually get current with these logs. Not today, though. This is from August.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer who has now been named, but I can't remember it, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

This log is available as streaming audio or mp3 download. It runs about 2 hours and 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

Streaming:

Download:
Get It Here

Here are the annotations for this session, #7.

“Pizza's on the table!” 10:21 – Kevin was asking David if he thought the OVEN was ready, not the PIZZA, since the pizza was still frozen and sitting on the table.
“I plead the fif!” 19:16 – Pop culture reference, “Chappelle's Show” TV show.
“I'm coming outta the booth!” 31:22 – Pop culture reference, “They're All Gonna Laugh at You” comedy album. This quote is from the Tollbooth Willie skit.
“They should have never given you niggas money!” 50:11 – Pop culture reference, “Chappelle's Show” TV show. From Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories about Rick James. We continue to quote Rick James from the show.
“What's on your shirt?” 50:37 – This is the shirt I was wearing at the time. Buy one for yourself, if you like.
“Why do you insist on mixing shit?” 1:05:26 – Kevin mixed his blueberry juice with a Fuzzy Navel wine cooler. He's kind of a weird dude.
“The yellow sun gives you your power.” 1:28:37 – Pop culture reference, “Superman.” Superman gets his powers from Earth's yellow sun. We continue to discuss the absolute terribleness of “Smallville,” the TV show that focuses on Superman's early years.
“My boss wears a lavender shirt...” 1:37:57 – All true. Infer what you wish.
“Button, button, who's got the button? My money's on the witch.” 1:42:54 – Pop culture reference, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” TV show. There was an episode where Willow, who is a witch, was invisible to everyone except the vampire Spike. He said that to indicate that he was the only one who could see her.
“It's not even like that, it's more like...” “Hey!” 1:53:08 – David had just smacked Trish in the forehead to demonstrate how the spell Lay on Hands works.
“Mmm, gelatinous circle.” 1:56:31 – Trish was referring to her circular shaped Jell-O mold. A gelatinous cube is a monster in the D&D universe.
“What is your name, boy?” 2:03:15 – Pop culture reference, “Roots” TV miniseries. This was said by a slave owner to Kunta Kinte while whipping him, demanding that he recognize his slave name of “Toby.”

D&D Post #6 plus Annotations

2009-10-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

Even bigger delay this time. This track is over 2 months old. Really sorry about that.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer who has now been named, but I can't remember it, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar. We also have a visitor this time, my friend Sarah from work.

This log is available as streaming audio or mp3 download. It runs just over 3 hours.

Enjoy!

Streaming:

Download:
Get It Here

Here are the annotations for this session, #6.

“Oh yeah, that's me, that's my charming quality.” 3:50 – Sarah snorts when she laughs sometimes. Kevin was not aware of this.
“They have glitters.” 5:48 – Sarah is referring to the sparkly dice that Trish and Liz have.
“It tastes kinda like fruit punch.” 30:48 – This was the first time I had tasted a Rockstar Zero Carb version.
“Watermelon Smirnoff.” 33:04 – Also, wine coolers. Kevin likes the fruity drinks. I must admit, the flavored Smirnoff's are tasty, but they don't really count as drinks in my book.
“That's why it's called role-playing.” 46:28 – I know, I'm a smart ass. But the whole point of role-playing is being someone or something you're not.
“That looks like a deformed Pinocchio.” 54:12 – Sarah had given me a look when Kobolds were mentioned, so I looked it up on my laptop and showed her a picture.
“We are at T-minus...24 days?” 57:09 – Until the start of the NFL preseason. Sarah and I are huge football fans. She likes the Packers and I like the Raiders, and we both razz each other mercilessly about that fact.
“Live Action Role Playing. We don't do that.” 1:02:06 – No LARPing for me, thanks. As I say later, those guys are nerds. Completely socially inept losers. I may be a geek, but I'm not a nerd.
“So when is Tensided gonna launch off like that?” 1:08:28 – I really wish it would, but my high hopes have waned as more time has passed. I keep hearing that the rules are set, it just needs to be organized into book form, but whether or not that's actually going to happen is the big question.
“Oh, that we don't have derby names?” 1:11:45 – Sarah and her friends were/are involved with flat-track roller derby, and they all have derby names, which are nicknames given to them by their derby teammates. Sarah is Miss Informed.
“I go for The Proposal. I made Heath go see that.” 1:18:52 – It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, honestly.
“How do you spell celibacy?” 1:52:13 – He was close, but you spell celibacy with only one e.
“I got a buck...Two bucks...Three bucks.” 1:54:43 – I was counting bottle caps, which happen to be the currency in the post-apocalyptic Fallout 3 universe.
“You have to talk like that over there, because we are the minority at Stagg.” 2:15:48 – I know he says it jokingly, but he's right. Stagg High was very much a melting pot.
“You named your character Ironballs?” 2:33:41 – I don't see why she's so incredulous. I think it's hilarious, and entirely fitting for a dwarf.
“He's totally an asshole.” 2:41:22 – Ah, my friends discussing the depths of my assholish-ness. Good times.

New Movies

2009-09-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

There are 4, count em, 4 movies coming out this Friday that I want to see. I'm not sure that's ever happened before. If so, I certainly don't remember it. What are these movies, you ask? Let me tell you.

Capitalism: A Love Story. I enjoy Michael Moore. Call me a bleeding heart liberal (or whatever the nom du jour for lefties is right now), but the man makes a good documentary.

The Invention of Lying. David Brent (Ricky Gervais) and Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner)? Yes, please!

Whip It. Even if I hadn't promised to go see this with my roller derby-loving friend, I'd go see this movie. Hot chicks participating in a contact sport? What's not to like?

Zombieland. This is like the movie version of Dead Rising. I'm so there.

Guitar Hero 5 (PS3) Impressions

2009-09-03T23:18:00.000-07:00

Bought it the first day it came out, based on buzz and the fact that by doing so I could get the Van Halen track pack for free. Now, I haven't been a fan of the Guitar Hero games since Rocks the 80s (which, not coincidentally, was the last GH game that Harmonix worked on before switching to Rock Band), but I thought GH5 would bring me back into the fold.

Despite overwhelmingly popular reviews, I find GH5 to be a much inferior game to any Rock Band title, or GH1 or GH2, for that matter.

First off, the track list is varied and hits a lot of songs that haven't been covered in other music games (although there is some repetition with RB). But the career mode makes you play through some shit tunes to get to the good stuff, and there's a lot of really boring note charts. Granted, there are a few gems that are really fun to play, but overall I prefer Rock Band's solid quality charts. Also, the guitar parts (I haven't tried drums yet) don't seem...substantial, I guess is the word, to me. It's like there's a disconnect between me fretting and strumming, the notes hitting on the note chart, and the sound playing in the game. Maybe it's HDTV lag, but when I'm playing Rock Band, it feels solid, like I'm playing the music (in a button-pressing-timing-sound-feedback sense, of course), but I don't get the same feeling with GH5.

Second, the added features don't really do it for me. For instance, party mode allows the game to run in the background, and if someone feels like picking up an instrument and playing, they can drop in to the game, and then drop out at any time. Do people really do that at parties? Maybe I'm just going to the wrong parties. The ability to have two guitarists or three drummers or 4 singers on one song is interesting, but again, is anyone ever going to do that? Online, I suppose, but certainly not locally. Just like Rock Band, there's the option to switch between guitar and bass before each song, but for some reason, the option isn't there when playing with more than one player. Unless I missed it, but if not, that's a severe oversight. I do like open notes on bass guitar, and the individual or band challenges add replayability, but some of them seem unnecessarily difficult while others are ridiculously simple. And why is the default volume so low? Even when the sound options are cranked all the way up, it's still not at the same level as all my other games.

At this point, I've spent about 3 or 4 hours with the game, and am halfway through the game's 85 tracks. In case it isn't obvious, I'm unimpressed so far, and not satisfied I've gotten my 60 bucks worth, even with the gratis Van Halen.

Batman (PS3) Postmortem

2009-09-01T15:46:00.001-07:00

I couldn't finish the game in a 5 day rental period. If not for the fact that I'm well over halfway through(I'd say I'm about 75% done), it would be a purchase for sure. The voiceacting is phenomenal, the controls are tight, the story is intriguing and original, and it looks absolutely gorgeous. Two thumbs way up.
Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

Batman: Arkham Asylum Impressions (PS3)

2009-08-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

I rented this last night and played for a couple hours. So far, my impressions can be summed up in two words (and this is a good thing): I'm Batman!
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D&D Post #5 plus Annotations

2009-08-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the delay in getting this log posted. We've had like 3 sessions since this one, so I'll try to get those up as soon as possible.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer with no name, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

This log is available as streaming audio or mp3 download. It runs about 3 hours and 10 minutes.

Enjoy!

Streaming:

Download:
Get It Here

Here are the annotations for this session, #5.

“His name was Tulip!” 1:07 – Kevin's summoned animals all get flower names because his character has an aversion to flowers.
“Don't you mean 1942?” 2:13 – Actually, he did mean 1943. The PC version was Battlefield 1942, the PS3 version is 1943.
“There's too much fabric to bunch up.” 5:47 – I'm referring to Kevin's now smaller dice bag that Liz fixed for him. While smaller, the bag is almost as wide as it is tall, so the drawstring won't close the bag.
“Stop picking fuzz.” 22:50 – Liz was picking lint off of Trish's shirt.
“Thank Christ it's finally over.” 23:48 – Little did I know that my long hours weren't even half over. After the initial training, we had to provide support to the reps by walking around the call center all day, post-launch of the new system.
“It generates 1.21 jigawatts of electricity.” 27:29 – Pop culture reference, “Back to the Future” film. As I go on to explain, the flux capacitor requires 1.21 jigawatts of electricity to work. The only thing that could generate that much power is a bolt of lightning, as the 1955 version of Doc Brown explains to Marty in the movie.
“Your True Name definitely has an effect.” 39:42 – Pop culture reference, “The Dresden Files” books. Anyone who knows your True Name (which is your full name, spoken from your own lips) can do all sorts of nasty things to you in Dresden's universe.
“Eww.” 45:44 – After one of Kevin's dice landed in the seven layer dip, he popped it in his mouth.
“Who here doesn't like that spell? You don't count.” 48:12 – David had raised his hand.
“Achoo. Bless you. No, man, that's my name!” 53:06 – Pop culture reference, “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” film.
“It's not a tumor!” 1:09:20 – Pop culture reference, “Kindergarten Cop” film. Yes, that's my Arnold the Governator impression. It continues later. Not bad, if I do say so myself.
“Think like a really twisted looking Dr. Zoidberg.” 1:12:08 – That's right, I compared Dr. Zoidberg from “Futurama” to a mind flayer.
“Get down! Get down again!” 1:19:58 – Viral video, “Little Tortilla Boy” comedy bit by Pablo Francisco. Kevin's Arnold impression sounds very Indian, for some reason.
“Dr Tran!” 1:20:32 – Internet meme, “Here Comes Dr. Tran.” Check out the other Dr. Tran videos, too. Especially Quiet Log Time and Summer Splash.
“I almost drank my buttons!” 1:31:49 – David has a jar of buttons that he uses as markers for enemies on the battle map. He was so distraught about how handily the party dispatched the enemies he threw at us that he picked up his jar of buttons instead of his can of Dr. Pepper, and almost drank them.
“I'm gonna turn you into poo!” 1:40:21 – Pop culture reference, “Family Guy” TV show. Chris said this to a food item. I believe it may have been a banana.
“Say Star Trek blows in Klingon.” 1:52:21 – Pop culture reference, “Fanboys” film. One of the Star Wars fanboys asked one of the Star Trek fanboys, “What's the Klingon for 'I'm gonna die a virgin?'”
“Put a spoiler on my Civic it go hella fast, dude.” 2:01:07 – Yes, it's racist, and for that, I'm sorry. I did actually know guys like that in high school, though.
“Man, we ain't found shit.” 2:04:44 – Pop culture reference, “Space Balls” film. This is what the troops “combing” the desert said to Dark Helmet. We continue talking about assholes, which was the last name of many officers on the ship.
“I am not drinking that one.” 2:34:50 – Kevin dropped a soda on the floor while getting it out of the fridge. David proceeded to open it quickly without tapping it first, and it sprayed out, all over his pants.
“I am going to papercut you. Right here, right here, and right here.” 2:39:32 – Kevin indicated the webbing between his fingers, and then the corners of his mouth. Kevin's a sadistic bastard sometimes. I am, too, for suggesting that he then dip his hands in lemon juice.
“No, that's not a knife. THIS is a knife!” 2:41:45 – Pop culture reference, “Crocodile Dundee” film.
“Bite my shiny metal ass.” 2:54:32 – Pop culture reference, “Futurama” TV show. Bender's catchphrase.
“What the hell is this? Who-what-I don't want this!” 3:01:31 – Kevin stole Liz's dice and handed them to me.
“And there goes the teeth.” 3:02:11 – Pop culture reference, “Knockout Kings” video game. In one of the Knockout Kings games on the original Playstation, there was a mode called Slugfest. In this mode, you could sometimes hit your opponent hard enough so that his mouthpiece would fly out. The announcer would then shout, “There goes the mouthpiece!” If, in the same round, you hit your opponent really hard again, white squares would fly out of his mouth, and the announcer would then shout, “There go the teeth!” I wish there was video of this on the interweb somewhere, but I can't find any. Too bad, because it's one of the funniest things I've ever experienced.
“That's a pretty good name for a band. Sonic Lavender.” 3:09:22 – That shall be my band name in the next Rock Band/Guitar Hero/whatever game.

So. Much. Win.

2009-08-17T19:12:00.000-07:00

Wow

2009-08-07T16:00:00.001-07:00

I suddenly feel a lot better about the Raiders #1 Draft choice (or at least the choice they didn't make). http://bit.ly/qrvnV

Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

Twitter Down?!

2009-08-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ack! Twitter's down currently. I'm bored at work. What do I do? I'm going to have to actually talk with my coworkers!
Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

D&D Annotations #4

2009-07-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

"Badger, badger, badger." 00:10 - Internet meme, "Dancing Badgers."
"Stupid Bethesda." 6:59 - Kevin is lamenting the fact that the first piece of Fallout 3 DLC for the PS3 was not released on the schedule announced a few months ago. To date, it has still not been released (Bethesda has since announced the first DLC will not be out until late September).
"...currently 3 million people are calling their mothers..." 15:52 - The website I was visiting had a banner ad with a popup video that started playing. Since I can't fucking stand that shit, I will never visit that site again.
"Sword-chucks, yo." 24:29 - Pop culture reference, "8-Bit Theatre" web comic. Fighter thinks the ultimate weapon are sword-chucks, a pair of swords attached by a chain at the hilt.
"Have you seen the animated Hobbit? It was fucking terrible." 27:09 - Well, have you? Here, take a look and get ready to vomit.
"Benicio Del Toro." 28:56 - Benicio Del Toro. Guillermo del Toro. Two completely different people.
"I see. I mean, I don't really see, but I see." 34:31 - David couldn't see the battle map where our minis were in place because there was a bag of tortilla chips blocking his view. Hence the comments about the "Tortilla Tarrasque."
"Now say 'cool.' 'Cool.'" 46:25 - Pop culture reference, "Family Guy" TV show. For some strange reason, Kevin thinks this Cool Whip Family Guy bit is hilarious. I just find it annoying. See and judge for yourself.
"Dude, what does mine say? Sweet!" 49:47 - Pop culture reference, "Dude, Where's My Car" film. A quote from possibly the worst movie ever.
"No. I refuse to hold your sack." 59:07 - Kevin had just offered his dice bag to David. I mentioned a sleeping bag because Kevin's homemade dice bag is gigantic. It probably could be used as a sleeping bag for a cat or a small dog.
"Come back, Dave. Come back." 1:09:32 - The Dave in question being Dave Chappelle. If only Dave would come back for more Chappelle's Show, it would be glorious.
"I'd still be able to put him on my list of things I've burned." 1:21:38 - Kevin actually has a list of things he's burned with his fireball spell.
"It's reflexatory." 1:25:14 - "Reflexatory" is not actually a word. But it should be.
"Hola, cousin Speedy." 1:33:00 - Pop culture reference, "Looney Tunes" cartoon character Slowpoke Rodriguez, he was Speedy Gonzalez' cousin and complete opposite personality.
"This is the Lost Woods, isn't it?" 1:36:00 - Pop culture reference, "The Legend of Zelda" video game series. The Lost Woods originally appeared in the first Zelda game for the NES as a puzzle that required the player to walk in a series of specific directions, or else be trapped in the woods.
"Hey, it's Vince from Shampow." 1:47:12 - Viral video, "Shamwow" parody.
"That still doesn't top Clell Tickle." 1:49:02 - Viral video, "Clell Tickle: Indie Marketing Guru." Hambone is a convicted child arsonist.
"All I wanna know is where the gold at?" 2:01:49 - Viral video, "Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama."
"Da Bears!" 2:03:34 - Pop culture reference, "Bill Swerkski's Super Fans" sketch from Saturday Night Live.
"Hey! Listen!" 2:23:52 - Pop culture reference, "Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" video game. Navi is the most annoying fairy ever. Her ever present callings of "Hey! Listen!" have led many a gamer to the brink of blind rage.

War. War Never Changes.

2009-07-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

The Vault Dweller walks the Wasteland next January.

D&D Post #4 plus Annotations for #3

2009-07-07T00:02:00.000-07:00

It's that time again! Here's the log for the last D&D session we had. Plus, I've annotated the third session at the end of this post.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer with no name, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

Only one part this time, available as streaming audio or mp3 download. It runs about 2 hours and 40 minutes.

Enjoy!

Streaming:

Download:
Get It Here

Here are the annotations for session 3.

Part 1
"Ok, monkey man." 29:11 - Kevin was picking up a towel on the floor with his foot.
"Even in the Nevernever." 42:28 - Pop culture reference, "The Dresden Files" series of books. The Dresden Files is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer starring Philip Marlowe, or what you would get if you crossed Spenser with Merlin or Harry Potter with Jim Rockford. The Nevernever is the plane where fairies and whatnot come from.
"No, it's Chris' worst nightmare." 59:25 - Chris was a douchebag who Justin and I used to hang around with in high school. He made a character for D&D that was based on himself. He included his paralyzing fear of spiders and mild asthma, among other things, so he could munchkin his way to a powerful character. Realizing this, Justin exploited it in such a way that after running for his life from a giant spider, "Chris" had an asthma attack, collapsed, and then was caught and eaten by the spider.
"What the hell?" 1:04:49 - David had just finished his soda and then crushed the can on his forehead.
"1 plus 1!" 1:08:27 - Kevin flipped David the double bird, because David had been demonstrating how to do multiplication of 9s on his fingers.
"I notice how your dice just fell down Tetris-style." 1:12:14 - I had my d6s arranged in two rows of 4, but they were split apart in the "z-block" Tetris shapes.
"You've got your ascot, and your flippie-floppies." 1:13:47 - Pop culture reference, "On a Boat" by The Lonely Island.
"Were you petting the can?" 1:47:19 - Liz was making a motion over her Dr. Pepper can like she was petting a small animal. Later, she was smelling my empty can of Rockstar.
"I found a badger scroll on Shiren." 1:49:10 - We talk about Shiren a lot. "Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer" is a DS game that is awesome. It's incredibly hard and unforgiving (if you die, you lose all your stuff and have to start over from the beginning), but very addicting and satisfying once you can make it to the end.
"Tis but a flesh wound!" 1:56:00 - Pop culture reference, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" film.

Part 2
"There's certain things you don't do in life, and one of them is gambling with a Sicilian in a game of life and death." 4:55 - Pop culture reference, "The Princess Bride" film.
"Don't piss on the electric fence." 5:00 - Pop culture reference, "Ren and Stimpy" TV show.
"I have comic ideas on my Blackberry." 10:03 - Yes, I have a list of comic ideas on my Blackberry.
"Want a helmet?" 19:03 - Kevin was referring to his half a watermelon that he had just finished hollowing out.
"The cheese is old and moldy." 21:16 - Pop culture reference, "Encino Man" film.
"Well, whaddya know. It disintegrated." 37:59 - Pop culture reference, "Looney Tunes" cartoon "Duck Dodgers in the 24th 1/2 Century."
"Yeah, I said Wizard Sight." "Using my Third Eye?" 40:05 - Pop culture reference, "The Dresden Files." By opening their third eye, wizards can see things that are invisible otherwise.
"Speaking of which, I forgot how awesome 'Dead Beat' was." 44:00 - "Dead Beat" is the 7th book of the Dresden Files. In it, he reanimates the skeleton of a T-Rex and rides it through the streets of Chicago.
"Crap, someone fed the Mogwai." 1:26:43 - Pop culture reference, "Gremlins" film. A Mogwai is a fuzzy creature that has 3 simple rules of care: Don't expose it to bright light, don't get it wet, and never, ever, feed it after midnight.
"What the fuck? That was weird sounding." 1:50:26 - Trish's phone was on vibrate and sitting on the table, and it made a funny "woob woob woob" sound.
"Twitter sucks balls. I fuckin hate Twitter." 2:00:46 - Yes, I'm aware of the irony that I continue to say I hate Twitter, and yet I use it all the time.
"Yeah, you're insane." 2:03:46 - Turns out, Kevin's absolutely right. "The Dishwasher" is not, in fact, a Playstation Network game as David claimed, but an Xbox Live Arcade game.

Red Faction: Guerrilla (PS3) Impressions

2009-07-02T22:52:00.000-07:00

This game makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. That's not hyperbole. The first time I toppled a building using nothing more than a sledgehammer and a couple of shaped charges, I was filled with a childish joy that I haven't felt in a long time.

Not only does this game make it so much fun to break, smash, explode, and just plain destroy everything, the missions aren't bad, either. Of course, they're centered around complete and utter obliteration of everything around you, but this is very much a 3 am game. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it's the type of game you sit down to play in the evening, and the next time you look at the clock, it's 3 am.

Ghostbusters (PS3) Postmortem

2009-06-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

I finished Ghostbusters today. I'd say it was about 8-10 hours of gameplay total for the single player campaign. I haven't touched multiplayer, and don't really plan to. Instead of talking about good points and bad points, I'm going to just list the bad things that really stood out.

Uneven difficulty. I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Certain parts of the game were cakewalks, while others were exercises in frustration, for no good reason.

Load times. Again, it's so bad I had to mention it again. I don't mind failing missions if I can jump right back in and try again. But waiting a good half a minute to do so, all the while listening to Ray Parker, Jr, is not a good thing. Yes, it's a good song. Yes, it gets annoying after a while.

Save game bugs. While I didn't experience a complete loss of my savegame, the game did somehow manage to lose my scans of paranormal activity and cursed artifacts I had collected halfway through the story. Gamebreaker, no, strange and aggravating (as it cost me some trophies), yes.

That's all I didn't like. Everything else, the controls, the story, the graphics, the voice acting and sound, all spectacular. But that short list of bad stuff (and the fact I finished the storyline on a 5-day rental period) is enough to make this a rental recommendation only. Maybe once the price drops to 30 bucks or below and my homies pick it up too, I'll buy it and get some multiplayer ghostbusting action going. Until then, though, it's just not worth $60.

D&D Post #3

2009-06-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

It's almost time for another session of D&D, but first, here's the log from the last one!

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer with no name, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

Another two parter. Both are available just as last time, streaming audio or mp3 download. Each part is roughly 2 hours.

Enjoy!

Streaming:
Part 1

Part 2

Download:
Get Part 1 Here
Get Part 2 Here

Ghostbusters (PS3) Impressions

2009-06-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

I've played for about 3-4 hours, through the first 3 missions.

It feels very much like Ghostbusters, which is not unusual since it stars all four of the OG Ghostbusters and was written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. It has enough callbacks to the first two films to feel very familiar, and yet has enough new thrown in to be a solid extension of the universe.

The difficulty level is a bit ragged, due mostly to the fact that the game holds your hand during certain parts, and then lets you flounder in others. Also, load times after failing a mission are absolutely criminal, and I experienced some slowdown - no, slowdown isn't the right word, it was more like stopping - in the visuals during a sequence with darkness and smoke. Stuff like that is almost common place with badly coded PC games on poor hardware, but it's completely unacceptable on a console.

Still, I'm enjoying it, and haven't had a gamebreaker yet. It's Ghostbusters, after all.

D&D Post #3 Coming Soon

2009-06-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

There is a new recording of D&D as we had a session on Sunday night. However, I have not had a chance to do some cleanup in Audacity and upload it yet. Soon, I promise!

Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

D&D Post #2

2009-05-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

Here's the next session of D&D.

Same players as last time: David the DM and TB the halfling rogue, Kevin the demon-born druid Alyster, Liz the rat fighter Liz, Trish the half-elf sorcerer with no name, and me the dwarf cleric Kelgar.

This session went so long I've split it into two parts. Both are available just as last time, streaming audio or mp3 download. First part is about 2 and a half hours, second part is about 1 and a half hours.

Enjoy!

Streaming:
Part 1

Part 2

Download:
Get Part 1 Here
Get Part 2 Here

Nathan Fillion is...Hal Jordan

2009-05-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Fan-made trailers usually suck pretty bad, for a number of reasons: bad editing, bad music, ill-fitting stock footage, etc. This one, though, is incredible. It may have something to do with Nathan Fillion, but it has a lot of other great things going for it, too. Definitely one to view in High Quality. Enjoy!

I Love Being Right

2009-05-19T19:46:00.001-07:00

Especially when it benefits me. Check it.

Now, I didn't call that on this blog, so there's really no proof per se, but I've held to the belief since it was announced that Fallout 3 DLC was not exclusive for Microsoft, but merely a timed exclusive. Just like Rock Band 2 was, just like Bioshock was, just like GTA IV would have been if it weren't delayed, just like the DLC for GTA IV will be, and maybe, just like the Mass Effect games will be.

Suck on that, naysayers.

Tabletop D&D

2009-05-16T23:59:00.000-07:00

Every other Friday night, The Crew gets together and plays D&D. Traditional pen and paper style D&D: in person, around the tabletop, with physical maps, minis, and dice. Snacks, adult beverages, laughs and good times are had by all.

This last Friday I decided to bring my laptop to the game and record the session. What follows is the audio of that session. The Crew members present consist of: David, the DM, who also plays the part of a halfling rogue named Taylor Bronx (or TB for short); Kevin, a demon-born druid named Alyster with a summoned dire bat named Sonic (but christened Lavender by the rest of the group, as Alyster has an aversion to flowers); Liz, a bipedal rat fighter named Liz (short for a name that I can't remember or pronounce); Trish, a half-elf sorcerer who has yet to be named; and myself, a dwarf cleric named Kelgar Ironballs who worships Pelor, the Sun god.

I have made the recording available in two ways: as streaming audio and as a downloadable mp3 for your portable listening device. Warning: this track contains adult language and situations. Listener discretion is advised. Also, as the track runs almost 3 hours, I don't recommend listening to it all at once unless you are incredibly bored, or as big a geek as we all are.

Enjoy!

Streaming:

Download:
Get it Here

Two Sites That I Cannot Do Without

2009-05-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

If you work in customer service or any job that interacts with the public on a regular basis, you probably have several stories that would be right at home at Not Always Right.

Also, if you have a shitty day at work or just in general and feel like it can't get any worse, turn to F My Life. Because it can always be worse.

Dollhouse

2009-05-13T19:03:00.001-07:00

Oh my god. Dollhouse. Oh my god.

So my hulu queue caught up to the last episode of Dollhouse (of this season, goddammit, it will NOT be the last episode ever) last night, and oh my god.

I ain't spoiling shit, so I can't really say anything other than Joss Whedon is my master.

Jazz/Lakers

2009-04-25T19:12:00.001-07:00

Watching the Utah game and I have two observations.

1) I fucking hate the Lakers.

2) It's amazing how the announcers can still speak with LA's dicks in their mouths.
Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

We Don't Torture

2009-04-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

End of Season Wrapup 2009

2009-04-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

Most of the TV shows from the Fall are wrapping up their season runs right about now, and it's been more than a year since I gave a rundown of broadcast (and otherwise) TV, so now is as good a time as any for one of these. I'm going to try a new format for this one, though, since I don't actually watch TV on television any more (internet streaming FTW), so instead of by day, I'm just going down the list in alphabetical order.

30 Rock. I'm so glad I stopped judging this show by it's promos and gave it a fair shake. This is one of the few shows that actually deserves all the praise it gets.

Bones. I originally started watching this show only because it had a Joss-verse vet on it (David Boreanaz). 4 years in and while I wouldn't consider myself a fan of the CSI-like procedural genre, I don't hate it on principle anymore.

Breaking Bad. A high-school chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal cancer and is concerned about providing for his family once he's gone. What would someone do in that situation? The answer's obvious. Start cooking meth.

Castle. Another Joss-verse vet show, this one's got Nathan Fillion as a murder-mystery novelist who finds his muse in a no-nonsense female police detective. I'm digging it, but there are rumors of cancellation. Goddammit.

Chuck. One of the many things I like about this show is that it doesn't fit neatly into any given genre. It's part comedy, part drama, part romance, part espionage action. Plus, it's got Adam Baldwin. But it might be canceled. Wait, what? Goddammit!

Dexter. Fantastic show. It's also on cable, which means cancellation isn't really an option (since it's already had 3 seasons, and can presumably go as long as it's creators have ideas).

Dollhouse. Sure, I watch a lot of Joss-verse vet shows, but this one is an honest to god Joss-verse show. Unfortunately, it's on FUX. Which means it was basically canceled before it started. I really, really, really, really hope it sticks around. And I really hope Joss never works with FUX again after this.

Eli Stone. This is a show about a prophetic lawyer. And when I say prophetic, I mean in the biblical sense of the word. Ordinarily, I wouldn't give something like this the time of day, but it starred Jonny Lee Miller (from Hackers, which is a guilty pleasure of mine) and Victor Garber (who I really dug in Alias). It totally grew on me and I kept watching. And now it's canceled. Goddammit!!

Fringe. People say it's kinda like the X-Files. I wouldn't know, as I never watched the X-Files. I do know it's unlike anything I've ever seen before, and I really dig it. You know what that means? It's gonna get canceled.

Heroes. There was a bit of a rough patch around the middle of this season, I think, where it seemed like the writers were just trying goofy shit because they could. Recently, they seem to have righted the ship. I'm still pissed that Elle (Kristen Bell) isn't on the show anymore, though.

How I Met Your Mother. This show is Legen...wait for it, I hope you're not lactose intolerant because here it comes...dary!

Jericho. Canceled, brought back by the fans, then canceled again. Goddammit!!!

Journeyman. Canceled. Sigh.

Life. I really like Damian Lewis. I first saw him in Band of Brothers, and he's great as Detective Crews in Life. The rumors of cancellation really piss me off.

Life on Mars. A remake (or perhaps re-envisioning) of a BBC series, Life on Mars is about a cop who gets hit by a car in 2008 and ends up in 1973. Is he in a coma? Is he a time-traveller? Is he just dreaming? Or something else? This was my favorite show of the 2008 crop of new shows. Why do I say was? Because it's canceled. Luckily, the show-runners got the news prior to finishing their allotted run, so we got a proper ending instead of just an unfinished mess. The internet(TM) apparently hated the ending, but I loved it. Still, though. GODDAMMIT!!!!

Lost. Even though it seems like more questions are raised than answered on this show, I still can't get enough. Thank christ it will actually get to finish it's run on it's own terms.

Moonlight. Angel-light, this show should be called. For two reasons, because it got canceled after one season instead of 5. Fuck.

My Name is Earl. Yeah, yeah, I've got a huge man-crush on Jason Lee. Too bad he's a Scientologist. Anyway, Earl rocks, it's gonna be around for a long time, and...what? It might get canceled? Fuck!

My Own Worst Enemy. A double agent: in his own head. Stupid? Maybe. Original? Definitely. Interesting? Hell yes. Canceled? Of course.

New Amsterdam. So there's this immortal...nevermind, it's canceled.

Prison Break. The prison break happened at the end of the first season. Then there was a manhunt. Then another prison in the third season. Now they're out again. Will they go back in? We'll get to find out, but then it's canceled. Fuck!!

Pushing Daisies. Original, quirky, magical, hilarious, darkly comedic, and canceled.

Reaper. Original, quirky, magical, hilarious, darkly comedic, and canceled...maybe. Fuck!!!

Smallville. Trainwreck. But you know what they say about trainwrecks...

Supernatural. If not the best show on television right now, definitely in the top 3.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Terminator. Summer Glau. Canceled. FUCK!!!!

The Office. What the hell is Stringer Bell doing on The Office? Oddness aside, The Office is great.

True Blood. I haven't read the books this series is based on, but goddamn if it isn't awesome. Vampires, hot chicks, and plenty of gore? Sign me up!

United States of Tara. I wasn't sure about this show in the beginning. It wasn't really funny, and I'm not sure if it was meant to be. It grew on me, though, and I can't wait for next season (which doesn't start until 2010. Gah!).

Burn After Reading

2009-04-16T00:17:00.001-07:00

After much urging from a friend that I would dig it, I watched Burn After Reading tonight. Not bad, but not my favorite Cohen Bros. flick. That title belongs to The Big Lebowski.

Recommended if you like black comedies and/or you're a fan of the Cohens.
Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

Mormons

2009-04-14T23:56:00.000-07:00

Some Mormons came to my door today. It was a first, actually. I've gotten the Seventh Day Adventists, I've gotten the Jehovah's Witnesses, I've gotten the Evangelicals, but no Mormons. Until today. (funny aside, I typed "Morons" at first. I'm not yet sure if that was a mistake)

Two guys were standing on my porch when I opened the door, which I understand is the norm. They looked maybe 23, tops. They introduced themselves, Elder Dickspittle and Elder Cockbite (I'm positive those were their actual names), and then the first one asked what I had been doing prior to answering the door.

"Just watching some TV."

"Oh, cool. Well, we're from the Mormon Church and have been sent by the prophet blah blah blah."

At this point, the speaker must have noticed my completely uninterested expression and closed off body language, because he asked if they had been by before. My answer was no, so he followed up by asking if I had a belief in God. I again answered in the negative. He looked taken aback.

"No belief in any God?"

"Nope. None."

He stuttered. "We'd like to share our experiences in faith with you, and how..."

"I'd rather you didn't."

It was at this point he realized he would get no further with me, and asked if any of my neighbors would be interested in his shtick. I chuckled at him and thought to myself, "Drug dealers, addicts, and welfare moms? Are you fucking kidding me?" but thought better of it and said I had no idea, he'd have to ask them. I then bid Elders Dickspittle and Cockbite a good night. I resisted the urge to add a, "Hail Satan!" before closing the door.

Testing

2009-04-14T19:34:00.001-07:00

This is only a test of mobile blogging. Have I mentioned that I heart my blackberry?
Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

My name is Heath, and I'm an addict

2009-04-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

My drug of choice? Crack.

As in, Crackberry. That's right, I now own a Blackberry smartphone, and damn if it isn't sexy as hell and completely badass. I'm still discovering all the awesome things it can do, but my favorite so far is the instant messaging. It's got AIM, MSN, Yahoo, Google, pretty much everything except for ICQ, which is unsupported on my network for some reason.

So the real point of this post (other than to say that I completely heart my Blackberry), is that if anyone who reads it lost touch with me because I dropped off the IM planet, I am now back. Holla at your boy.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (DS) Impressions

2009-03-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

I'll definitely have more to say about this game once I put some more time into it (I picked it up after work and played for a couple of hours), but it's pretty awesome so far. The driving controls are a little wonky (although the auto assist helps), but other than that I don't have any complaints. Plus, it holds true to what one of my Economics professors once told me: if all you care about is making as much money as quickly as possible, sell drugs.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

2009-03-07T21:54:00.001-08:00

First off, wow, it's been awhile since I posted to the blog.

So yeah, Watchmen. Step 1: Buy, rent, or borrow Watchmen graphic novel. Step 2: Read Watchmen graphic novel. Step 3: Go see Watchmen movie and bring as many people with you as possible. Step 4, etc. Repeat Step 3 as necessary.

Watchmen is, by far, my new favorite superhero/comic book movie.

Polka Train

2009-01-25T15:47:00.001-08:00

2008 NFL Playoffs: Conference Championship Results and Super Bowl Prediction

2009-01-19T21:49:00.000-08:00

One more game left in the entire season. It seems like I wait all year for football season, and then it's over just like that. Oh well.

Cardinals 32, Eagles 25

This game was out of control in the first half, until Donovan McNabb brought the Eagles storming back in the third quarter. It was too little, too late, though.

Steelers 23, Ravens 14

Exactly what I expected, except for the final result. A close game all the way, much closer than the final score shows.

2008 Playoff Prediction Record: 3-7

Super Bowl XLIII: Arizona Cardinals vs Pittsburgh Steelers

The Cardinals are like the late, great Rodney Dangerfield: they get no respect. They've got a QB whose career should have been over years ago, a couple of wide receivers who are great on the field, but not so much off of it, and a running back who was cast off a Super Bowl team because he didn't have it any more, even though he clearly still does. The Steelers have the best defense in the NFL, a QB who looks like he's got at least one more Super Bowl in him, and a 2-man rushing combo that's been the hallmark of the last two Champions. I have a soft spot for underdogs, and I'm tempted to pick the Cardinals. Defense wins championships, though, so I'm going the other way and picking the Steelers.

Check back in two weeks for the Super Bowl result.

2008 NFL Playoffs: Divisional Results and Conference Championship Predictions

2009-01-12T22:34:00.001-08:00

A weekend of upsets! Here's the rundown for this weekend's Divisional games, and my predictions for next weekend's Conference Championship games.

Ravens 13, Titans 10
The Ravens still have a stifling defense, but they've proven they can score points, too. Look out!

Cardinals 33, Panthers 13
Are the Cardinals really for real? Or are they just extreme overachievers?

Eagles 23, Giants 11
And the champions have fallen! Eli goes home one week after his brother does. Guess we'll have to wait til next year for a Manning Bowl. Here's hoping!

Steelers 35, Chargers 24
The Steelers still have that stifling defense, but they've proven they can score points, too. Look out!

2008 Playoff Prediction Record: 3-5

Now on to next week's games.

NFC

6 Philadelphia Eagles at 4 Arizona Cardinals
A 9-6-1 team goes up against a 9-7 team for the NFC Championship. Welcome to the NFL, where the postseason is almost as wacky as the BCS! The Cardinals simply aren't good enough to beat the Eagles, even in Arizona. Eagles win.

AFC

6 Baltimore Ravens at 2 Pittsburgh Steelers
The Ravens and the rookie QB are for real. The Steelers are going to be tough, and while they beat Baltimore twice during the season, both wins were very close and could have gone the other way. Ravens win the upset.

Check back next week for results and my Super Bowl prediction.

A Tale of Two Sequels

2009-01-09T19:32:00.000-08:00

After I finished Fallout 3 (I ran through the story once as a good guy, then got halfway through a second time as an asshole before getting bored) and got my own copy of Rock Band 2, I needed a new game to rent and play. After 5 minutes at the video store, I decided that game would be Saints Row 2.

I had purchased the original Saints Row for my 360 and enjoyed it, even with the bugs and other assorted bullshit. At the time, it was the only GTA-like experience on the current-gen consoles. Since then, GTA4 had hit, and I wasn't sure how well Saints Row 2 would stack up.

Turns out it stacked up pretty well, just for different reasons. Saints Row 2 doesn't take itself nearly as seriously as GTA4, and isn't even half as long as GTA4 (I finished the main storyline in about 24 hours), but it's a whole lot of fun. There were only a handful of aggravating spots, and almost no bugs to speak of. Controls, story, graphics, and voice acting were all great. Thumbs up for Saints Row 2.

Since I was done with Saints Row 2 after a couple of weeks, I needed another game, hopefully one that that would last a bit longer. After checking online, the consensus was that Far Cry 2 was a free-roaming sandbox type game that boasted 60 hours of gameplay. One trip to the video store later and Far Cry 2 was in my possession.

For the first 5 hours, it was great. It took some getting used to, as it's not only an FPS on a console, but getting shot is much more fatal than GTA or Saints Row. Once I tackled the learning curve, though, I was off gathering conflict diamonds, shooting people, and blowing shit up. Far Cry 2 is kind of like if GTA was set in Africa. Go here, get mission, kill people or blow something up, get paid, buy weapons, shoot more people, get another mission, etc.

There was just one problem. In Far Cry 2, you have "buddies" which help you out with main mission objectives and rescue you if you get dropped in the field. Just like you, though, they're very mortal, and if they get dropped, you have to heal them or they'll bleed out and die. Once they're dead, they're dead forever. You can also "mercy kill" them if you don't feel like healing them, but there's absolutely no reason to do that. You don't get any money, you don't get their weapons, and you lose them as a resource. So the bottom line is you should protect your buddies and heal them if they're injured. Which I did.

But then I had a mission where one of my buddies derailed a train and set up an ambush. I was tasked with helping him clean up. Imagine my surprise when I rode up in my truck to his ambush location to find him dead and enemies swarming the area. I went on a hate-fuled rampage and then loaded game, because I didn't want to lose my buddy. Take 2, this time I roll up, only to see him blast a guy, and then two seconds later drop dead. At first I thought someone had shot him, but there were no enemies left in the area, not even a hidden sniper. What was stranger was that he wasn't injured and in need of healing (like would usually happen), he was just dead, game over, end of story. At this point, I was supremely pissed. I really didn't want to do the whole thing over a third time, because from my last save to this point there was a shitload of combat and driving to be done. I managed to reason with myself that this was part of the storyline. I drive up, too late to save my buddy, and he goes out in a hail of gunfire. Sure, fine, whater.

I continue on, now with only one "rescue-ready" buddy, not a mission helper buddy. There's another potential buddy back at base, but she doesn't trust me enough yet to help me out with missions. So I'm rolling along doing side missions trying to avoid the story until I can get another buddy, and I get taken down while I'm out hunting down an assassination target. My buddy rescues me, we gun down the rest of the enemies, and I go off on my merry way. I stop by the arms dealer to spend my ill-gotten gains, then save my game. I go out on another side mission, get taken down again by enemies, and am confronted with the loading screen, rather than being rescued by my buddy.

My Spidey-sense tingles, but I load game. I check my journal, and my buddy shows as "mercy-killed." What the fuck? I didn't mercy kill anyone. Out of curiosity, I check the status of my earlier buddy, and he shows "mercy-killed" too. It's at this point that I realize not only was his death a bug, but this death was also a bug. I had left my rescuer alone in the wilderness, but like all times before it, I expected him to get back safe, and instead, he just dropped dead at some point and became listed as "mercy-killed."

Nevertheless, I was still having fun with the game and soldiered on. I went to the main faction's HQ to get a new mission, but there wasn't one available. Instead, I was tasked with rescuing a prisoner. Ah, finally, a new buddy. I go to the place, gun down the guards, and open the prisoner's cell. She says she's glad to see me, and tells me to go ahead and eliminate any reinforcements. I leave, expecting her to follow. I wait at the main entrance, watching for reinforcements, but none show. I shrug, and get in my truck and start driving back to base. I then realize that my GPS is still showing the rescue target. So I turn around and go back, expecting to see my buddy still standing in the cell or something equally stupid. But there's no one there. Yet my GPS continues to blink, "You're supposed to rescue someone here." I wander around the camp, hoping those mysterious reinforcements will show up so I can gun them down and advance the mission, but still nothing. Furious now, I drive back to base. What a surprise, there's the rescued prisoner. But she has nothing to do with me, because the game still thinks she hasn't been rescued. I rest, thinking that will do it. No dice. "You're supposed to rescue someone here."

Load game. Get rescue mission again, gun down guards, unlock cell. Go on ahead, reinforcements, we'll meet back at base. I lead the way backwards, trying to see if she'll follow me, but she just stands there dumbly in her cell. I leave the camp and return, and the guards have respawned, but I pretend they're reinforcements and gun them down. She's gone from the cell. I return to base, she's there, but I still can't talk to her. I can't take another mission because this one isn't completed. I can't finish the mission, even though I did what I was supposed to do. At this point, I hit the PS button, select "Quit game," eject the disc, and am forever done with Far Cry 2. It took me 9 hours to hit a game-killing bug. Fan-fucking-tastic. Big thumbs down for Far Cry 2.

2008 NFL Playoffs: Wild Card Results and Divisional Predictions

2009-01-05T19:02:00.000-08:00

Could I be any more wrong? Here's the rundown for this weekend's Wild Card games, and my picks for next weekend's Divisional games.

Cardinals 30, Falcons 24
Matt Ryan looked like a rookie quarterback, mostly because the Cardinals D-line made a living in the backfield all day. Kurt Warner may not be the future of the Cardinals, but for now, Arizona moves on.

Eagles 26, Vikings 14
Having one amazing rusher doesn't mean much when the other team has a pretty damn good rusher and a pretty damn good QB to boot.

Chargers 23, Colts 17
I'll let Indianapolis' Defensive End Dwight Freeney sum up this game: “Those were the worst [expletive] calls I’ve seen in a long time. To have a game of that magnitude taken out of your hands, it’s just disgusting. It’s not like they made one [expletive] bad call – it’s three calls, in overtime. On one the ball’s 50 feet over [Chambers’] head. And they have the nerve to call defensive holding? When they can’t even call one friggin’ offensive holding the whole game? What’s going on? They need to start investigating some other [expletive].” Well said, Mr. Freeney.

Ravens 27, Dolphins 9
Joe Flacco did not look like a rookie quarterback, but Chad Pennington did. I'm curious to see if any team throws the ball Ed Reed's way ever again.

2008 Playoff Prediction Record: 0-4

Now on to next week's games.

NFC

4 Arizona Cardinals at 2 Carolina Panthers
From beating a team that no one expected to go to the playoffs to meeting a team that could very well go all the way, Arizona's playoff road ends here. Panthers win.

6 Philadelphia Eagles at 1 New York Giants
The Eagles are surprisingly good when it counts, and it's for that reason I'm picking them in an upset over the champion Giants. Eagles win.

AFC

4 San Diego Chargers at 2 Pittsburgh Steelers
Fuck the Chargers. Steelers win.

6 Baltimore Ravens at 1 Tennessee Titans
Remember how no 6th seeded team had ever won a Super Bowl, and then the Steelers did just that 3 years ago? I think it might be time for that again. Ravens win.

Check back next week for results and more predictions.

Movie of the Year

2008-12-30T22:14:00.000-08:00

The best film I've seen all year was also the last one I'll see this year. It's based on a true story, stars an Oscar winner who deserves another, and is about a man who, I'm ashamed to say, knew absolutely nothing about before seeing the film.

That film is Milk. It is one of those movies that everyone should see, but those who truly need to see it will not. It is a movie that I wish would have came out just a little bit sooner. It is a movie that makes me sad, hopeful, angry, and contemplative. I wonder where we might be today if Harvey Milk had been allowed to continue his career, and his activism. I think about the events depicted in the film, and realize that 30 years later, the specific issues may have changed, but the arguments haven't.

I urge you to go see Milk.

2008 NFL Playoffs: Wild Card Weekend

2008-12-30T00:17:00.000-08:00

And another NFL regular season comes to a close. Hell of a final weekend, with two playoff spots in each conference up for grabs, and a handful of teams fighting for them. But the matchups are now set, so here goes my predictions for the Wild Card games in the first round.

NFC

5 Atlanta Falcons at 4 Arizona Cardinals
The Falcons came out of essentially nowhere with a no name QB and finished with a better record than all but two teams in their conference. Arizona won their first division title in more than 30 years with an all but washed-up QB enjoying a second go-round in the spotlight. However, the Cardinals lost 4 of their last 6 games and beat only one playoff team during the season. The upset goes to the Falcons.

6 Philadelphia Eagles at 3 Minnesota Vikings
The Eagles started the season well, and if only for a couple of plays, could have been 6-0 going into their bye week. They weren't, of course, but they did finish strong, with decisive wins against the Cardinals and Giants, and an absolute demolishing of the Cowboys. The Vikings have ridden "All Day" Adrian Peterson into the playoffs after squeaking out a win against the Giants in the last game of the season. Smart money's probably on the Eagles, but I'm picking the Vikings.

Byes: 1 New York Giants and 2 Carolina Panthers

AFC

5 Indianapolis Colts at 4 San Diego Chargers
The Colts are without a doubt the best wild card team in the playoffs, and except for a stunning 10-0 run to start the season by the Titans, would have yet another division title under their belts. The Chargers, on the other hand, are without a doubt the worst division champ in the playoffs. They beat one decent team all season (the Patriots, who, by virtue of the rule that division champs have a guaranteed spot in the playoffs even when they're 8-8, missed out on a postseason berth), and needed to beat the Broncos in the last game to even get in. Plus, Indianapolis is not going to get embarrassed by a team that wears powder blue unis for the second year in a row. Colts win.

6 Baltimore Ravens at 3 Miami Dolphins
The Ravens came out of essentially nowhere with a no name QB and finished with a better record than all but three teams in their conference. Miami finished first in a division that had been dominated by the Patriots for nearly a decade, and was competitive from top to bottom for the first time ever. The Ravens will be tough, but I think Miami comes out with a win.

Byes: 1 Tennessee Titans and 2 Pittsburgh Steelers

Check back next week for results and more predictions.

Christmas Haul 2008

2008-12-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, bitches! Hope you all had a great day, cause I sure did. I ran down the fat loot I gathered last year, so I think I'll do it again this year, in no particular order.

Neverwinter Nights 2: Storm of Zehir (PC). The second expansion to the second installment of the best fantasy-style CRPG currently in production.

Kung Fu Panda (Blu Ray). Jack Black, Kung Fu, and animation. What's not to like?

The Dark Knight (Blu Ray). My second favorite superhero movie of 2008 (first was Iron Man).

Batman: Gotham Knight (Blu Ray). Batman rocks.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Blu Ray). Indy still kicks ass and takes names, I don't give a shit what anybody says.

Freakazoid! Season 1 (DVD). What do they call poo-gas in Scotland? Crud-vapors.

Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (DS). The fourth in the Ace Attorney series. Yelling "OBJECTION!" at your DS is more fun than it sounds like.

Rock Band 2 (PS3). I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Didn't you get this as soon as it came out?" And the answer is yes, I did. I got it the day before it came out to be exact, but it was just a rental. They wouldn't sell it to me a day early, but they'd let me rent it. Whatever. I now officially own it, so it's all good.

Raiders 60"x80" Fleece Blanket. Great for watching football on the couch.

Raiders knit cap. Great for keeping your brain pan warm when it's cold as fuck outside.

And that about does it for another gift-giving season. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Peace, bitches!

If You Build It, You Will Bleed

2008-12-22T23:42:00.000-08:00

So Bill Harris posted today about building computers, and it made me want to talk about my own experience building computers. Specifically, about the blood involved.

You see, I've built every PC I've ever owned myself (with the exception of one, a store-bought Compaq that I shall never speak of again), and in every one I've put a little bit of myself. Literally.

One time I was reaching in to the case to plug in a cable and scratched the shit out of my knuckles on a sharp edge. I don't know if you know this, but knuckles bleed. A lot.

Another time I was screwing in a drive, slipped, and jabbed the screwdriver into my palm. That brought blood, but mostly pain.

Finally, there was the time that I was trying to pry out a drive bay with my fingers, slipped, and sliced my finger open on a protruding metal tab. I still have the crescent shaped scar just below the second knuckle on my left index finger. It matches the one in the same place on my right index finger that was made through a completely different and unrelated accident, but that's a story for another day. Regardless, there was much blood, much pain, and probably some stitches if I had bothered to seek medical attention. Remember, there was a computer that needed to get built.

I haven't built a computer in a few years now, so who knows what's next. But if it's sharp, pointy, jagged, or even blunt, you can bet I'll slice, stab, tear, or crush myself in some way that brings the blood. Oh yes, there will be blood.

Prop 8: The Musical

2008-12-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

Starring Jack Black, Neil Patrick Harris, and John C. Reilly (among others), it's Prop 8: The Musical!

Left 4 Dead (PC) Impressions

2008-11-25T23:42:00.001-08:00

I got a chance to check out Left 4 Dead tonight, for about an hour. These are very early impressions; I'd have liked to play it a little more before giving them, but the game wouldn't let me.

My computer can handle it, and it runs silky smooth and looks great, but for some reason it's still crash happy. Not sure why, it runs great, and then all of a sudden decides to crash for no apparent reason.

Anyway, it's the very definition of twitch finger action, very cinematic, and incredibly fun. It's old school shooter and new school shooter wrapped together in one tasty package. I can't wait to play more, if I can just get it to stop crashing to the desktop every twenty minutes.

War Never Changes

2008-11-24T20:43:00.001-08:00

After nearly 70 hours and almost a month, I've completed the main quest in Fallout 3. I took my time, explored, did a lot of side quests, and really immersed myself in the world, but I didn't do everything and see everywhere, nor did I talk to everyone and complete everything I started. There's easily another 10-25 hours of content I didn't see, not to mention another playthrough being a completely heartless, no good, evil bastard (I played my initial run through as a paragon of virtue). Perhaps the best 80 bucks (I got the collector's edition lunchbox on the PS3) I've ever spent on a game. I'm not prepared to say it's better than Fallout or even Fallout 2, but it is definitely a worthy successor and an incredible addition to the franchise. Bring on Fallout 4!

A Musing on Technology

2008-11-18T00:17:00.001-08:00

Here's a hypothetical situation: Say you've got a fancy pants HDTV, and a fancy pants Blu Ray player, along with a fancy pants HD satellite TV connection. You want all this stuff to work together with a fancy pants surround sound system, connected by HDMI cables, but you don't want to bother with a separate switcher (one more remote, one more thing to turn on before you can watch TV, movies, or whatever).

Why, then, do almost all the "home theater in a box" surround sound systems that actually have HDMI inputs (why all of them don't have HDMI inputs is beyond me, I mean, anyone getting new tech right now should be in the digital age with their peripherals, and as such, need HDMI inputs) not include audio decoding? What I mean is, if those HDMI inputs are used to connect a Blu Ray player or HD satellite TV connection or game system, the audio is not carried through the surround sound speakers, but simply passed to the TV speakers. In order to get true digital sound, extra cables are required.

Allow me to repeat: in order to get audio from a peripheral to the surround sound speakers, a separate connection is required, in addition to the HDMI connection that is capable of transmitting both audio and video. That is fucking retarded. What's even more retarded is that this is actually touted as a "feature." That's not a feature, assholes, that's a limitation. Jesus Christ.

Fallout 3 (PS3) Early Impressions

2008-10-28T23:37:00.000-07:00

I sat down to start playing Fallout 3 about 6:30, and then noticed when my eyes started hurting that it was 11:30. Yeah, that about covers it.

Prop 8

2008-10-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't live in California, Prop 8 amends the California State Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. Last week, a writer for my local newspaper wrote a column about how Prop 8 is wrong and everyone should vote no on it. Here's a link to that column.

Not surprisingly, it brought out the idiots. Let's see what they have to say!

"It has nothing to do with rights or anything. I has to do with disobeying God's order. It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong."

Actually, it has everything to do with rights. And whose God? Your God? Certainly not my God. Repeat after me, legislating religion: it's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.

"The California Supreme Court overturned the vote of the people on The Defense of Marriage Act (otherwise known as Prop 22 in California). One old gasbag with a swing vote changed the lives of millions of people, and many feel their vote didn't count."

Let's get one thing straight. The California Supreme Court overturned the vote of the people on a clearly unconstitutional amendment to California law. That's exactly what the courts are supposed to do. If a proposition allowing slave ownership passed "the vote of the people," I and everyone else better damn well expect the courts to overturn it. Also, no one's lives have been changed by allowing same-sex couples to marry. Except for theirs, of course.

"Given God's creation of male and female, I'm sure his plan was for male and female to be productive. Now answer this: how can the same-sex marriage reproduce?"

Ok, asshole, instead of dismissing you immediately as a bible-thumping fundie moron, I'm going to humor you. So God created male and female, alright. What makes you so "sure" his plan was for male and female to reproduce? Are you really so arrogant to believe that you know God's plan? Hell, are you God? I'm pretty sure that qualifies as blasphemy, fuckstick.

"I am not opposed to gays or lesbians based on their character or abilities. I just don't want to explain to a 6-year-old why two men are kissing!"

Your inability to explain healthy relationships to a child is your problem, not anyone else's.

"What makes you think that gay marriage is a rights issue? It is a moral issue. Once we start down that slippery slope, it will affect your kids and your grandkids."

Finally, someone whom I agree with! Of course it's a moral issue! It needs to affect our kids and grandkids, so this sort of bigotry and hatred never...wait, hold on. You're saying it's a bad thing, aren't you? Nevermind, my bad, you're a dumbass.

"To change the meaning of this word, marriage, would only cause confusion and chaos."

Hold the phone. I've always wondered what the definition of marriage actually is. How could I find something like that out? I know! The dictionary! Let's check our good friend Merriam-Webster, they'll know!

Main Entry: mar·riage
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry

1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b: the mutual relation of married persons c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

Would you look at that. It's right there, plain and simple, black and white. The definition is already such that it covers the union of same sex people. Confusion? Chaos? Not here.

So, in conclusion, I'm voting no on Prop 8. It's not about protecting marriage, or children, or family values. It's about what's right. It's about what's just. And it's about saying that we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Rock Band 2 (PS3) Impressions

2008-10-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

Best. Music Game. Ever.

RB2 is like a 13. Everything great about Rock Band plus more. The new track list is great. Created characters can play any instrument, and be in any band. The world tour is now single or multiplayer, online or off. Finding the song you want is much easier, and the ability to make setlists is fantastic. And there's trophies. Sweet, sweet, trophies.

I don't know if I'll ever get around to doing a full review, so in case I don't, know this: Rock Band 2 is worth every cent of the $60 asking price.

Rock Band 2 (PS3)

2008-10-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

Guess who has two thumbs and got a copy of Rock Band 2 early? This guy! *points to himself with both thumbs*

Yeah, yeah, I know anyone who has a 360 could have had and been playing RB2 for about a month now, but seeing as how the PS3 version doesn't officially drop until tomorrow, I think the fact that I snagged a copy today is pretty damn cool. So without further ado, I'm going to commence melting faces.

Burnout Paradise (PS3)

2008-10-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

I finished Burnout Paradise today. If you're a regular reader of this blog (god help you) you may remember I talked about Burnout Paradise earlier this year (if you do, you have my thanks, but also my pity) when it first came out. I had rented then, but I decided to buy a few weeks ago when I realized a used copy could be had for 25 bucks, and there had been some free content upgrades made to the game.

Anyway, my short take is: totally worth 25 bucks, extremely enjoyable for the 20 hours or so I played it (on top of the 10 or 12 I had put in back in January). Look for my full review soon over at Kitsune Games.

Christmas in October

2008-10-13T22:21:00.001-07:00

Look at what comes out this month:
Command & Conquer Red Alert 3 (360, PC, PS3)
Dead Space (360, PC, PS3)
Fable 2 (360)
Fallout 3 (360, PC, PS3)
Far Cry 2 (360, PC, PS3)
Ghostbusters (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, Wii)
Guitar Hero World Tour (360, PS2, PS3, Wii)
Jagged Alliance (DS)
Legendary (360, PC, PS3)
LittleBigPlanet (PS3)
Rock Band 2 (360, PS2, PS3, Wii)
Rock Revolution (360, DS, PS3, Wii)
Saints Row 2 (360, PC, PS3)
Spider-Man Web of Shadows (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, Wii)
Wii Music (Wii)

Um, Mr. Video Game Publishers? I play games all year round, you know. I'm not saying all (or even most) of these games will be purchases, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that they're all releasing within 3 weeks of each other. Spread those bad boys out, and I'd buy more games. Just a thought.

EDIT: Next month is...better? Worse? More of the same?
Alone in the Dark (PS3)
Chrono Trigger (DS)
Endwar (360, PC, PS3, PSP)
Gears of War 2 (360)
Left 4 Dead (360, PC)
Mirror's Edge (360, PS3)
Need for Speed Undercover (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, Wii)
Neverwinter Nights 2 Storm of Zehir (PC)
Resistance 2 (PS3)
Tomb Raider Underworld (360, DS, PC, PS2, PS3, Wii)

Jesus.

A Question for my Ghetto Neighbors

2008-10-03T23:02:00.001-07:00

I understand you like to smoke and stay up late since apparently you don't have to get up early in the morning to go to an actual job, but is it really necessary to play your "phat beats" after 11 pm? Seriously. Knock it the fuck off.

Spore (The Final Word)

2008-10-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

If you want to know all about my thoughts on Spore, go check out Kitsune Games.

One Quick Spore Note

2008-09-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

I'm done with Spore, and I'll tell you why once I get around to writing up that other Spore post I've mentioned, but first I wanted to just say this. I remember Will Wright promising that the Space stage would be the ultimate sandbox, where not only could you reshape planets and all that, but you could also revisit the other stages of the game, i.e modifying creatures and civilizations and whatnot. While that's technically true, all the tools required to do those things cost outrageous amounts of money, and like I mentioned before, you can't do them at your own pace. You'll always be getting called back to prevent pirates or enemy raiders from destroying your shit.

So here's my question: why isn't there a special Sandbox mode that's unlocked once you "finish" the Space stage? One where you can freely revisit any of the prior stages and do whatever you want however you want, with no limits other than your imagination? I should be able to get to play around with creature building, tribal wrangling, civilization expansion, and yes, even get to blow up as many planets as I feel like while cruising around the galaxy in my tricked out spaceship with no limits or restrictions.

If Spore's primary tagline is "Not really a game," it's secondary tagline should be, "Untapped potential."

I Hate Sheep

2008-09-22T22:58:00.000-07:00

I want to talk a little bit more about Spore eventually, but I might end up doing that in a full fledged review over at Kitsune Games. Dunno, we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, right now, I want to talk about how much I hate sheep. No, not the fluffy mammals, the people who can't think for themselves. Those people who read things on the internet and take it to heart, with no regard to what they actually believe.

Take, for example, television, which is a subject near and dear to my heart. New shows will come out, and they'll be great. Everyone will love them. A couple years will pass (or sometimes just one), and then all of sudden you hear people say, "Oh, that show? The first few seasons were good, but it's terrible now." What happened? The internet happened.

Here's some examples.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is somewhere on my top 5 list of the Best TV Shows in the History of TV Shows Ever. However, I disliked the seventh season, for reasons that are my own. I really, really liked the fifth, and especially the sixth, seasons, though. Seemingly everyone else on the planet hated everything after the fourth season. Why? Because the internet says so.

Heroes. Not in my top 5, but certainly in my top 10. The first season was fantastic. The second season, while cut tragically short by the writer's strike, was equally so. Everyone else? The last episode of the first season was terrible, and the second season was a mess. So says the internet.

Veronica Mars. Perhaps the single best TV show I've ever seen. Three seasons was definitely not enough time to spend with Ms. Mars. I can honestly say I enjoyed each successive season more than the previous one. I'm definitely a minority of one, though, because everyone else says things started to go downhill with season 2, and season 3 was nearly unwatchable. Blame the internet.

What I'm trying to say is that when some idiot on the internet blasts a TV show for a supposed drop in quality (either real or completely imagined), everyone jumps on the bandwagon. This type of behavior probably leads to quality shows getting canceled. Basically, morons bleating about "bad" TV shows gather others to their cause, they all believe the rhetoric, stop watching, the ratings go down, and the shows get the axe. I don't actually have any data to support it, but that's my theory. Fucking sheep.

Spore (PC) Impressions

2008-09-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

I've been playing Spore for the past week, and have put in around 10 or 12 hours, enough to reach the final Space stage (the five stages are Cell, Creature, Tribal, Civilization, and Space) and play around in it. My initial thoughts about Spore since I first heard about it (some 3 years ago now, at least) were that it isn't a game in the traditional sense, and those are still my thoughts. There's no ending, no goals besides advancing to the next stage, and no real structure or story.

The most interesting part, the space stage, is fatally flawed. The general idea is to take over the galaxy, either by force or by economic means. You can complete missions for other races, establish trade routes, terraform and colonize new planets, buy out existing colonies, or blast them all to hell. The fatal flaw that I've found in this game that is very clearly marketed at the "casual" gamer, is that you can't do anything at your own pace. Let's say you want to explore the galaxy and do missions, and that's all you want to do. That's fine. Until you meet a warlike race, however, and they declare war on you with no provocation other than the fact that you were in their system. After that, they will relentlessly and tirelessly attack your colonies until there is nothing left of them. Sure, you can put up meager defense turrets, but they'll be blasted all to hell in no time. Sure, your colonies will purchase attack vehicles on their own, but not nearly as many as are needed, or often enough to turn aside a single invasion. Whenever your colonies are attacked, you must immediately drop whatever you're doing and return in your ship to help defend. Even if you're in the system that is being attacked, by the time you get to the planet and defeat the invaders, they will have wrought heavy damage to your colonies. Any buildings or turrets that were destroyed will have to be replaced by hand. You can choose not to replace them, but that simply means the next time you're attacked, the invasion will be able to destroy everything that's left more quickly, not to mention that your colonies will not be at full operating capacity.

What this boils down to is a futile exercise in micromanagement, something no casual gamer would ever find fun or interesting. Even I, as a self-described hardcore gamer have no interest in micromanaging my colonies. I'm off exploring the galaxy, goddammit, my people should rebuild those turrets and buildings automatically, and there should be an option to create a standing army so they'll be ready for the next invasion and won't have to whine that they're being attacked and plead that I come help them. That way, even if I'm in a war that I didn't start and didn't want, I don't have to scurry back and forth across the galaxy just to keep from being wiped off the face of the universe.

At this point, I had a lot more fun reaching the space stage then actually doing things in the space stage. Messing around with my creature and doing all of the tribal and civilization stuff was surprisingly fun, although I'm not sure I would ever want to do it again. The space stage, however, has the potential to be really, really good, and it's not. Kind of a shame, really, because I would have gladly paid $50 just for the Space stage that incorporates all of the interesting ideas it has with none of the bullshit.

Release Date Calendar

2008-09-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

Rejoice! A comprehensive release date calendar, in easy to use calendar format complete with color coding!

I've been searching for something like this ever since Gone Gold went down, and the void it left was not sufficiently filled by the continuation of the community or the eventual resurrection of the sister site, Console Gold.

On a related side note, looking up Gone Gold for those links reminded me that it was at that site that I originally started reading Bill Harris' work, which he moved over to Dubious Quality just before Gone Gold closed. It's like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, or some shit.

This is Why GameStop Sucks

2008-09-10T21:06:00.000-07:00

If you've got some free time, please hit this link and watch these videos. They're made by a former GameStop employee who has decided to call out the retailer on all of their bullshit. For some reason, the first video ("01") has been removed, but the other 8 are still there.

Sad But True

2008-09-10T19:26:00.001-07:00

Let me first make one thing perfectly clear: I am a die-hard Oakland Raiders football fan. I have been a member of the Raider Nation since I've known what football is. If you prick me, I'll still bleed red, but for metaphorical purposes, it is Silver and Black.

That said, this made me laugh uproariously, which is sad. But very true.

From the Shutdown Corner:

Don't Count On ... ... the Raiders continuing to be so tragic. Actually, you might be able to count on the Raiders continuing to be just that tragic. I don't know. What we witnessed from that morosely-dressed clown troupe on Monday night was almost unspeakable.

Things started well enough for them. They ran the ball. Justin Fargas found some holes, Darren McFadden had some success when he touched the ball. There seemed to be a shred of two of promise.

From there, I'd like to say that the wheels came off, but that wouldn't feel like an accurate description. The wheels didn't just magically come off, the Raiders all got out of the car (all 45 of them were in one Volkswagon; remember, this is a morosely-dressed clown troupe), shot the wheels off the own car, busted out the taillights, smashed the windshield and poured Splenda in the gas tank. Then they all piled back inside and started screaming, "CAR WON'T MOVE, ME SAD NOW!"

I just don't know how you can allow a performance like that to happen. Ninety-six penalty yards, most of them coming on ignorant personal fouls, a pathetic passing game in which Ashley Lelie was the star receiver, Eddie Royal consistently and viciously abusing DeAngelo Hall ... at no point were the Raiders anything but an ugly carpet for the Broncos to walk on.

You don't need talent to have discipline. You don't need a loaded roster to not be an embarrassment. The Chiefs found a way to take the field and not be a laughing stock, and they went out of their way this offseason to strip their roster of talent.

There's just no excuse for a team performing as poorly as the Raiders did on Monday night. I don't care if it's Week One or Week Seventeen.

The Legend of Neil Continued

2008-09-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

Click here for the first 3 episodes.

Every Day Should Be Felicia Day

2008-08-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

The Force Unleashed Demo Impressions (PS3)

2008-08-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Before I begin, let me preface my comments with a caveat: I am a huge Star Wars fan. I can't count the number of times I've seen the Original Trilogy, and I've even seen the Prequel Trilogy multiple times. I've read the books, I've had the action figures, hell, I even watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. (btw, if you're wondering if it really is that bad, the answer is yes. Yes it is) That said, I am not a George Lucas apologist, I think the Special Editions of the OT are awful, the PT is not as good as it could have been, and most things Star Wars that Lucas is directly involved in now are not the best.

Now, on to The Force Unleashed. In a word, awesome. In two words, fucking awesome. The basic idea is this: here's a lightsaber, here's the force, go have fun. See that window that looks out into space? Use the force to pick up that droid from across the room and hurl it through the window. See that TIE fighter? Use the force to snatch it out of midair and send it hurtling into a group of rebel soldiers. See that AT-ST? Force dash up to it, break it's legs with a Force blast, then cut it in half with your lightsaber. I did all that and more during the 10 minute demo.

I am so getting this game.

Facebreaker Demo Impressions (PS3)

2008-08-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

After I checked out these videos, I had to download the demo and try Facebreaker. After five minutes with the demo, I've made a buying decision.

That is to say, I definitely won't be spending a nickel on Facebreaker. I don't know where the comedy in those videos is in the game (probably no where, but it's certainly not in the demo), but without it, the gameplay in no way holds my interest. It's button mashing. It's not even good button mashing, because the computer button mashes, too. I could maybe forgive it if two player games devolved into button mashing, because most mediocre fighters do. But when the only legitimate strategy against the computer is to button mash? Fucking terrible.

I mean, shit, at least Fight Night Round 3 had good controls. The game still sucked, but it controlled well. Ever since the original Fight Night introduced Total Punch Control, there is no excuse for a modern boxing game, even an arcade one like Facebreaker, to not use that control scheme. For that reason alone (nevermind the others), Facebreaker = Fail.

I Hate Spoilers

2008-08-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Contrary to the latest Tensided Tales, I was, and continue to be, excited about the Olympic Games. Something about the very best athletes in the world coming together and competing against each other is extremely cool. Some of the sports are pretty lame (synchronized diving? rhythmic gymnastics? dressage? Come on), but for the most part, it's enjoyable. At least, it is when I can actually watch the contests without foreknowledge of knowing the outcome.

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I absolutely can't stand spoilers. One of the unfortunate things about living on the other side of the world from where the Olympics are being held is that pretty much everything is time-delayed. No problem, though, because I can easily avoid spoilers, right?

Wrong. Yesterday, I decided to check my email, and the "helpful" news update just happened to advise me that the US swimming relay team had won the gold medal in a race that would not be broadcast for four more hours. Great. Just great. It completely took all the excitement out of an event that for everyone that saw it unspoiled was incredibly exciting. Amazing. Spellbinding. Unforgettable. As long as you didn't know who won ahead of time.

Fast forward to today. I decide to avoid the internet like the plague, and watch the Monday Night Football game on ESPN. Yes, it's a sports news channel, but the game is shown live. They wouldn't ruin anything that anyone watching would have no chance of having seen, right? That would just be irresponsible, right?

Wrong. They broke in in the third quarter to "helpfully" announce that Phelps had won another gold during his individual race. That's right, the race would not be broadcast for four more hours.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? If I want to know the news as soon as it happens, sure, I should be able to get it. But I should have to seek it out, it shouldn't be thrust upon me out of nowhere. It certainly shouldn't be handed out like candy when I don't even want it. What the fuck?

Online Video Clip Saturday

2008-08-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

Hilarity ensues!

Justice Rats

2008-08-07T22:11:00.001-07:00

Assorted Media Opinions

2008-07-29T21:13:00.000-07:00

First, I want to link to this again because everyone needs to see it. Dr. Horrible. This is the one. Stops time. Dr. Horrible. Tell your friends.

Now on to the reviews of recent movies, TV shows, and internet...things.

Hancock, rated PG-13, starring Will Smith, Jason Bateman, and Charlize Theron. I may have said this before, but Will Smith is incredibly entertaining, even in a bad movie. Not to say Hancock is bad, but it's made considerably better by the presence of Mr. Smith. Definitely not your typical superhero flick. Thumbs up.

The Happening, rated R, starring Marky Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo. Where to begin with this one? M. Night Shyamalan is an interesting guy. The Sixth Sense was amazing, Unbreakable was a new twist on an old story, and Signs was a mess. I didn't bother seeing The Village or Lady in the Water. So I approached The Happening with more than a little bit of trepidation. Ultimately, The Happening is just a bad movie. Bad plot, bad twist (if you want to call it that), bad acting, badly written characters. That flushing sound you hear? That's M. Night's career going away.

Mamma Mia!, rated PG-13, starring Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Amanda Seyfried, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgard. Let me be up front: I'm not a fan of musicals. I've seen a handful, enjoyed a couple, but for the most part the musical, as a genre, is just beyond me. That said, I didn't hate Mamma Mia. The songs were good (it's ABBA. Hatin' on ABBA is like punching a kitten in the face. Normal people just don't do it), the actors were surprisingly good singers (for the most part, anyway. I'm looking at you, Pierce Brosnan), and the story, while a bit contrived, was decent enough. If you're a fan of musicals and/or chick flicks, you'll definitely enjoy Mamma Mia!

Hellboy II, rated PG-13, starring Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, and Jeffrey Tambor. Hellboy is another superhero comic book movie, but it's completely unlike any other superhero comic book movie. Hellboy's universe is an occult and supernatural one, and it makes for a very different experience. The first Hellboy film isn't required viewing before seeing the sequel, but since they're both excellent flicks, I recommend them.

Eureka, starring Colin Ferguson, Salli Richardson, and Joe Morton. Currently in it's third season (which started tonight), Eureka is technically science fiction, but I'd say it bends genres. It's part comedy, part drama, part mystery. So far, I've only seen the first season, but it's definitely enjoyable. The first two seasons are on DVD, so Netflix em if you've got it.

Generation Kill, starring an ensemble cast. This a new mini-series on HBO about a battalion of Marines (specifically, the 1st Reconnaissance Battalion) during the invasion of Iraq in 2003. Since the series is based on a book by an embedded reporter, it's essentially a first-hand look at the operation and the soldiers involved. Only 3 episodes (of 7) have aired so far, but as a fan of war movies and documentaries, I'm enjoying this bit of historical re-telling.

And last, but certainly not least:

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day. Yes, ok, it's a musical. But it's also a comedy, and a drama, and a superhero story with a love triangle and a supervillian who's also the protaganist. It defies convention. It's a must see (it can be streamed for free right here!), even if you're not a fan of musicals. That's about all I can say without spoiling anything. Go. Watch. Enjoy. Sing along.

JOY!

2008-07-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it, it's back! Go watch it for the first time, or the thirtieth time, or anywhere in between. Go now!

Seriously, don't make me beat you.

The Dark Knight...of Bad Math

2008-07-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

So, The Dark Knight. I still haven't seen it. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "You'll go see Mamma Mia! but you won't see Dark Knight? Exactly how much cock do you chug?" Well, the answer is none of your goddamn business. I will say that I fully intend to go see The Dark Knight, preferably when there aren't lines that wrap around the building. I'm thinking a weeknight.

Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I want to talk about something that really gets under my skin, and that's bad math. Specifically, when people talk about numbers with a time dimension in nominal terms. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up.

The Dark Knight has made a shit-ton of money in a short period of time. At last count, $313,781,677 domestically in 10 days. I'll grant you, that's a lot of dough. So much so, that there's chatter about it breaking Titanic's record. And that's when I get pissed off.

Here's the thing: Titanic doesn't have a record. $600 million is a lot of money, yeah, but a record it ain't. Even though this shows Titanic at the top, that doesn't mean anything. Why? Look at the number 2 film. Star Wars came out in 1977. Do you think you could buy as much with a dollar in 1997 as you could in 1977? No, you couldn't.

Which brings me to using nominal values to describe something with a time dimension. In this case, looking at box office receipts in terms of today's money becomes useless after only a few years, let alone a few decades.

So let's get the real value by adjusting for inflation. Oh ho, this paints quite a different picture, doesn't it? Titanic tumbles all the way to #6. Still respectable, but not nearly #1, not by a half a billion dollars. That's right, a movie released today would have to do 1.5 billion dollars worth of domestic business in order to break Gone with the Wind's record. Not likely. Possible, but I don't know if any movie ever again would sell that many tickets.

Oh, and The Dark Knight? $300 million in 10 days is impressive, but that doesn't even put it in the Top 100 on the all-time list. Too bad, Bats.

37?!

2008-07-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2008-07-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

I was going to link to this earlier, but then I got distracted by something, probably boobs. Mmm, boobs....

No! So you need to check out Dr. Horrible. It's got Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day, and it's written and directed by Joss Whedon. It's a super-villain love story musical, and it is made of pure awesome. Go see it right now, because it ceases to exist on the internets in it's wild, free form as of Sunday night at midnight.

Go now.

E3 Postmortem

2008-07-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

Another E3 has come and gone, so I thought I'd give a rundown of what happened.

First up, Microsoft...ah, hell with it. This sums the whole thing up pretty nicely.

Another Post About Rock Band 2

2008-07-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

Already? Yes, indeed!

According to Gamestop, the game itself hits the Xbox 360 first on September 14, then the bundle for both 360 and PS3, as well as the standalone game for PS3 hits on October 19. Wii and PS2 owners have the longest to wait, as the game and bundles don't hit for those platforms until November 18.

I can wait until October 19.

I think.

Wow

2008-07-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it's just because I haven't kept on top of the latest PC tech or what, but this is fucking amazing to me. That is a sexy beast, right there.

Now, I've always built my own computers (except for one very early, very bad decision on a Compaq that I still regret), but this is damn tempting. Core 2 Duo E4600 processor, 2GB of DDR2-667 memory, 320GB SATA hard drive, dual layer DVDRW optical drive with Lightscribe, and an NVIDIA GeForce 8400GS video card, all in a 22" flat panel monitor for 1200 bucks. And a wireless mouse and keyboard are included. Jesus, that's everything you need. It's even got wireless LAN. When the guy in the video (which autoplays, btw, that's kind of annoying) says you take it out of the box and plug in one cable, he ain't kidding, and that is all sorts of cool.

I'll say it again: that is a sexy beast, and it is very, very tempting.

Harmonix Is My Master Now

2008-07-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

Technically, they have been since the OG Guitar Hero, but now even more so. E3 kicked off today, and they made some official announcements. I'm going to run through them and post my comments interspersed in italics.

- Local and global online modes to connect the entire Rock Band community
Nothing new here.
- World Tour mode, now online, simplifies the best of gameplay from the original Rock Band by fusing Solo Tour and Band World Tour modes and cranks it up a notch with an all new collection of opportunity gigs, challenges, cities, venues and hirable staff
Oh hell yes. In person rocking is still the way to go, but having the option of playing the world tour with people across town or across the world kicks serious ass.
- Tour Challenges that offer rockers a chance to play through mini-campaigns focused on the best songs by instrument, decade, genre, artist, album and more
Awesome.
- Battle of the Bands mode challenges players to go head to head against other bands in constantly refreshed contests created by Harmonix
I'm personally not into the competition aspect of the game, but that sounds very cool.
- Quickplay makes it easier than ever to get in and jam without hassle while allowing for new prefab characters or customized characters that can play on any instrument plus lets you make your own set lists and organize your song lists in a variety of categories (genre, era, etc.)
Nothing new here except for set lists.
- Customizable Set Lists keep the music rolling and your band rocking in Quickplay mode
Yay! Set lists!
- Drum Trainer mode gives players the fundamentals of different beats and fills, translating gameplay into real drumming skills
Wow. I can't wait to see how far they take this, but the mind boggles at the possibilities.
- Character Creator completes your look with all new choices in clothing, accessories, tattoos, hairstyles, instruments and more to keep your unique rock avatar playing the full rock part
Nothing new here.
- Backwards compatibility with all Rock Band downloadable music content released to date
Very, very cool.
- Disc Export Feature gives owners of the original Rock Band the ability to export most of the Rock Band disc tracks and upgrade them into Rock Band 2 gameplay--the first time ever in videogame history!
Fuck yes. The only thing that gives me the slightest pause is the word "most." It would suck most extremely if we could import stuff like "Ballroom Blitz" and "Electric Version" but couldn't bring over "Tom Sawyer" and "Foreplay/Long Time." Then again, who am I kidding? I'm buying RB2 if I can't import any songs from RB1, so this is just a really, really big bonus.
- The Rock Band 2 soundtrack will feature over 100 songs - with over 80 songs on disc plus an additional 20 bonus tracks which will be made available for free download this fall.
Nice. This is even nicer given that the soundtrack has also been officially announced. More on that in a bit.
- Unrivaled Blend of Classic, Developing and Emerging rock acts including Pearl Jam, Metallica, Allman Brothers, Motorhead, Devo, Jane's Addiction, Megadeth, Paramore, Modest Mouse and more.
Yes, yes, yes, ok, ok, yes, yes, and ok.
- Rock Band 2 is the first and only video game to feature the music of AC/DC. It includes their epic rock anthem, "Let There Be Rock”
Moar AcDc plz!!!11one
- After 14 years since Guns N’ Roses last official music release, Axl Rose selects Rock Band 2 to debut official new track, “Shackler’s Revenge” from the highly-anticipated album Chinese Democracy
Moar GnR plz!!!111eleven.
- For the first time ever, music from American music icon, Bob Dylan, is featured in a video game with “Tangled Up In Blue”
Moar Dob Bylan kthxbai!!!!11onehundredeleven
- With ongoing weekly DLC releases including individual tracks, track packs and full albums, the Rock Band music library will feature more than 500 songs by year’s end!
That's a lot of music.
- Fender Stratocaster Controller takes on a new authentic look plus adds a reinforced strum bar, quieter buttons, wireless functionality and a built in calibration tool that automatically sets your AV setup to an ideal setting for maximum rock.
Nothing groundbreaking here, seeing as how the PS3 guitar is already wireless, I've never needed to calibrate it, and the buttons are fine. I suppose the strum bar could use a little work, so ok.
- Drum set goes wireless while also featuring quieter, velocity sensitive drum pads and a metal reinforced pedal.
Yes, yes, and yes. I might end up having to get a new drum set, especially if my pedal cracks in half (it's currently hanging on by a thread).
- Microphone showcases authentic styling and weight.
Uh huh. Ok. Sure.
- Fender Telecaster Controller from Mad Catz features soft buttons with lower action to help you shred faster than ever.
O...K. Lower action? Seriously? You realize it's not an actual guitar, right?
- Fender Bass Controller from Mad Catz, the first bass guitar controller ever, takes the shape of the Fender P-Bass with extended length, tuning pegs and a split strum bar to replicate finger-bass style picking.
Ok, now this is awesome. Given that that's exactly how I play the bass (IRL and in the game), I may very well have to pick that up.
- Full-sized Squire Stratocaster Guitar Controller from Mad Catz multiplies the authentic guitar experience by featuring a controller built into an actual Squire Stratocaster body.
Yeah...no. Seriously, just buy a guitar.
- Cymbal Expansion Pack from Mad Catz is a straightforward but amazing upgrade to the Rock Band 2 drum set featuring add-on cymbals.
Interesting. Not sure that it adds anything (the cymbals would just be different inputs, but would still be mapped to 2 or 3 of the same buttons that the drum pads are mapped to), but ok.
- ION Drum Rocker, a real electronic drum kit that functions as a game controller, brings the Rock Band fantasy to life featuring a simple substitution that takes the drum kit from a controller to a real instrument.
Very, very cool.

And now, the official on-disc tracklist:
1. AC/DC “Let There Be Rock” 1970s
2. AFI “Girl’s Gone Grey” 2000’s
3. Alanis Morissette “You Oughta Know” 1990’s
4. Alice in Chains “Man in the Box” 1990’s
5. Allman Brothers “Ramblin’ Man” 1970’s
6. Avenged Sevenfold “Almost Easy” 2000’s
7. Bad Company “Shooting Star” 1970’s
8. Beastie Boys “So Whatcha Want” 1990’s
9. Beck “E-Pro” 2000’s
10. Bikini Kill “Rebel Girl” 1990’s
11. Billy Idol “White Wedding Pt. I” 1980’s
12. Blondie “One Way or Another” 1970’s
13. Bob Dylan “Tangled Up in Blue” 1970’s
14. Bon Jovi “Livin’ on a Prayer” 1980’s
15. Cheap Trick “Hello There” 1970’s
16. Devo “Uncontrollable Urge” 1980’s
17. Dinosaur Jr. “Feel the Pain” 1990’s
18. Disturbed “Down with the Sickness” 2000’s
19. Dream Theater “Panic Attack” 2000’s
20. Duran Duran “Hungry Like the Wolf” 1980’s
21. Elvis Costello “Pump It Up” 1970’s
22. Fleetwood Mac “Go Your Own Way” 1970’s
23. Foo Fighters “Everlong” 1990’s
24. Guns N’ Roses “Shackler’s Revenge” 2000’s
25. Interpol “PDA” 2000’s
26. Jane’s Addiction “Mountain Song” 1980’s
27. Jethro Tull “Aqualung” 1970’s
28. Jimmy Eat World “The Middle” 2000’s
29. Joan Jett “Bad Reputation” 1980’s
30. Journey “Anyway You Want It” 1970’s
31. Judas Priest “Painkiller” 1990’s
32. Kansas “Carry On Wayward Son” 1970’s
33. L7 “Pretend We’re Dead” 1990’s
34. Lacuna Coil “Our Truth” 2000’s
35. Linkin Park “One Step Closer” 2000’s
36. Lit “My Own Worst Enemy” 1990’s
37. Lush “De-Luxe” 1990’s
38. Mastodon “Colony of Birchmen” 2000’s
39. Megadeth “Peace Sells” 1980’s
40. Metallica “Battery” 1980’s
41. Mighty Mighty Bosstones “Where’d You Go” 1990’s
42. Modest Mouse “Float On” 2000’s
43. Motorhead “Ace of Spades” 1980’s
44. Nirvana “Drain You” 1990’s
45. Norman Greenbaum “Spirit in the Sky” 1960’s
46. Panic at the Disco “Nine in the Afternoon” 2000’s
47. Paramore “That’s What You Get” 2000’s
48. Pearl Jam “Alive” 1990’s
49. Presidents of the USA “Lump” 1990’s
50. Rage Against the Machine “Testify” 1990’s
51. Ratt “Round & Round” 1980’s
52. Red Hot Chili Peppers “Give it Away” 1990’s
53. Rise Against “Give it All” 2000’s
54. Rush “The Trees” 1970’s
55. Silversun Pickups “Lazy Eye” 2000’s
56. Smashing Pumpkins “Today” 1990’s
57. Social Distortion “I Was Wrong” 1990’s
58. Sonic Youth “Teenage Riot” 1980’s
59. Soundgarden “Spoonman” 1990’s
60. Squeeze “Cool for Cats” 1970’s
61. Steely Dan “Bodhitsattva” 1970’s
62. Steve Miller Band “Rock’n Me” 1970’s
63. Survivor “Eye of the Tiger” 1980’s
64. System of a Down “Chop Suey” 2000’s
65. Talking Heads “Psycho Killer” 1970’s
66. Tenacious D “Master Exploder” 2000’s
67. Testament “Souls of Black” 1990’s
68. The Donnas “New Kid in School” 2000’s
69. The Go-Go’s “We Got the Beat” 1980’s
70. The Grateful Dead “Alabama Getaway” 1980’s
71. The Guess Who “American Woman” 1970’s
72. The Muffs “Kids in America” 1990’s
73. The Offspring “Come Out & Play (Keep ‘em Separated)” 1990’s
74. The Replacements “Alex Chilton” 1980’s
75. The Who “Pinball Wizard” 1960’s
76. Abnormality “Visions” 2000’s
77. Anarchy Club “Get Clean” 2000’s
78. Bang Camaro “Night Lies” 2000’s
79. Breaking Wheel “Shoulder to the Plow” 2000’s
80. The Libyans “Neighborhood” 2000’s
81. The Main Drag “A Jagged Gorgeous Winter” 2000’s
82. Speck “Conventional Lover” 2000’s
83. The Sterns “Supreme Girl” 2000’s
84. That Handsome Devil “Rob the Prez-O-Dent” 2000’s
Too...much...awesome...brain...overloading...forcing...to speak...in short...bursts...
Seriously, though, wow. Of the 50 something songs there that I've heard, completely awesome. I'm sure most, if not all, of the other 30 something will grow on me once I hear and play them.

That's it for the official announcements today, and damn, what announcements they are. One more note on the tracklist. Supposedly, Harmonix couldn't get all the tracks they wanted together in time for the Xbox's exclusive launch in September, so that's why they're releasing another 20 tracks to RB2 owners for free download later this year. That's just incredible. At this point, since GH1 was a 10, GH2 was an 11, and Rock Band was a 12, Rock Band 2 is going to be a 13.

Two Handheld Reviews

2008-07-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

I recently finished a couple of games on my handheld systems.

First up, Jeanne D'Arc, a turn-based tactical RPG for the PSP. I've been a sucker for these ever since Final Fantasy Tactics on the Playstation, and Jeanne D'Arc doesn't disappoint. It gets bonus points for not forcing me to level grind just so I can advance the storyline (like so many traditional RPGs do, and one of the reasons I don't play them anymore). An enjoyable game with an interesting plot and relatable characters equals a thumbs up from me. Now I can finally pick up and dive into Final Fantasy Tactics for the PSP. I hear it's a faithful update to the original.

The other game I just finished is Hotel Dusk: Room 215, a point-and-click adventure game for the DS. I've been a sucker for these ever since the LucasArts classic adventure games on PC (Monkey Island, Full Throttle, Sam and Max, etc). The only downside is occasionally getting lost and having no idea what to do next because it's unclear how items in your inventory fit into whatever you're trying to do. Other than that, Hotel Dusk was a fairly riveting mystery story that read very much like a hard-boiled detective novel (it even has you hold the DS like a paperback book). Thumbs up. Next up is Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. After all, I've only had it for 8 months...

Rock Band 2

2008-07-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

Rock Band 2 has been officially announced.

In short, DLC from Rock Band 1 is fully compatible with Rock Band 2 and vice versa, there will be new and improved instruments although the old ones will still work just fine, there are new modes and tweaks to existing modes (like Band World Tour, which will most likely jump to online, and possibly a "create-a-song" feature like Guitar Hero World Tour will have, although the PR-speak seems to imply that Rock Band won't be doing that until the third iteration or later), the ability to sing and play an instrument at the same time (with one character, rather than having to play multiplayer with yourself), an all-new on disc tracklist, which is the "strongest playlist [they've] ever assembled," as well as "new ways for you to transition from Expert to real instruments." What that last statement could mean is anyone's guess, but Bill Harris over at Dubious Quality thinks it could mean things like electronic drumkits that are compatible with Rock Band. It's going to be interesting, whatever it means.

Also, the folks at Harmonix are continuing to put out quality tracks as DLC, as well as a wide range of music that is certainly broadening my horizons. Since that was one of their mission statements with Rock Band, I'd say they're succeeding. Recent releases have included songs from Boston, Blondie, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Motley Crue, Judas Priest, The Cars, Fallout Boy, Jimmy Buffett, Disturbed, Maximo Park, Avenged Sevenfold, The Offspring, Pixies, Weezer, and Papa Roach. Currently announced and coming soon are songs by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rush, and a 12 track "Greatest Hits" pack from The Who.

Speaking of great tracks, some of the songs rumored to be on Rock Band 2's disc include "Chop Suey" by System of a Down, "Give It Away" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Everlong" by Foo Fighters, "Ace of Spades" by Motörhead, "Hello There" by Cheap Trick, "Anyway You Want It" by Journey, "Pinball Wizard" by The Who, "Peace Sells" by Megadeth, "Testify" by Rage Against The Machine, "American Woman" by The Guess Who, "White Wedding" by Billy Idol, "Aqua Lung" by Jethro Tull, "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett, "Drain You" by Nirvana, "Man in the Box" by Alice In Chains, and "Spoonman" by Soundgarden.

Guitar Hero Who?

Weekend Movie Reviews

2008-06-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

I've seen a bunch more movies, so here we go with another round of quick shot reviews.

You Don't Mess With the Zohan, rated PG-13, starring Adam Sandler and John Turturro. I'm a fan of Adam Sandler (except when he makes absolute garbage like Click), so I had to see this movie. So funny, so wrong, and so great. This movie recalls the earlier days of Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, before he took a "serious" turn and did films like 50 First Dates (possibly the only chick flick I enjoy, but it's not exactly an "Adam Sandler joint"), Spanglish (again, not a bad movie, but definitely not a screwball comedy), and the aforementioned, terrible Click. If you like Adam Sandler doing crazy shit, you can't miss with the Zohan.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, rated PG-13, starring Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, and John Hurt. What can I say? It's fucking Indy. Is it as good as any of the films in the original trilogy? Hard to say. Is it still Indy? Very much so. Anyone who was disappointed by this film was either expecting too much, had their memories of the original trilogy tinted by rose-colored glasses, or both. It's fucking Indy, what more do you want?

Get Smart, rated PG-13, starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin, and Terence Stamp. I'll be the first to admit that I've never seen the TV show from the 60's. So I don't have criticism like, "Maxwell Smart would never do that!" I took this movie for what it is: a summer spy action-comedy. It delivered on that front, so I enjoyed it.

The Incredible Hulk, rated PG-13, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, and William Hurt. As one of the few people who actually dug the first Hulk flick, I was lukewarm towards the idea of a reboot. The trailers didn't really do it for me, but I'm still a fan of Hulk and Edward Norton, so I gave it a shot. In short, I liked it. Edward Norton is a great Bruce Banner. I really liked how they foreshadowed the Leader for the inevitable sequel, and just like with Iron Man, the seeds of the Avengers are planted at the end of the film. It is a very good time to be a comic book fan.

Zodiac, rated R, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, and Robert Downey Jr. I Netflixed this one. My only real complaint about this movie is it's length. Granted, it covers some 22 years, but it does tend to drag in parts that could have been edited not only to keep suspense, but to shorten the overall running time of 2.5 hours. Overall, not a bad movie.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, rated R, starring Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer. I was raving about this film to one of my coworkers about how she had to see it, and I got the urge to rewatch it. It's definitely one of those films that you can watch a second time and end up getting even more out of it. Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer are great. The movie is very dark and yet absolutely hilarious, it's fantastic.

That's all for now. Tune in next week (or maybe in two weeks or a month, whatever) for more quickie film reviews.

Marriage

2008-06-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

Ready for a shocking fact? 26 of the 50 United States of America have constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriages. For the mathematically challenged, that's over half of the states in the union. Would you like a list? Here's a list:
Alabama
Alaska
Arkansas
Colorado
Georgia
Idaho
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Michigan
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Virginia
Wisconsin

Hawaii has an amendment stating that the legislature "has the power to reserve marriage to opposite-sex couples." Voters from the state of Arizona were presented with an amendment banning same-sex marriage and voted it down by a slim margin. The existing amendments were all passed by a solid majority, some by an overwhelming majority (Mississippi, Alabama, Tennesse). The state of California will vote on a constitutional ban of same-sex marriage in 2008, and other states such as Florida, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania may as well.

What I can't wrap my head around is this: how and why is it legal for a state (26 of them, no less) to tell two people that they cannot be married for no other reason than because they are the same sex? Forget about all the rhetoric and politics and other bullshit, what we've got here is a civil rights issue. What we've got here is a group of people being denied a right that another group of people has. Period, full stop.

When the election rolls around in November, I might go out and vote for no other reason than to put my mark on a piece of paper, stating that, "No, I refuse to deny a basic civil right to other human beings."

Metal Gear Solid 4 Impressions (PS3)

2008-06-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

After about an 8 minute install (during which Snake smoked like 4 cigarettes), I started playing the game. Or rather, I started watching cutscenes.

Here's the thing about the initial cutscenes, though: they don't make any fucking sense. Which is the norm for Metal Gear Solid cutscenes. *rimshot* Seriously, though, there was some sort of documentary footage with some deep sea divers and voiceover talking about octopuses, while a news ticker jumped around the screen. Then it switched to a couple of people (not sure if they were male or female, it was hard to tell) doing slow motion wire fu while shit blew up around them.

I was literally staring at my television slackjawed, not out of awe, but out of sheer confusion. Eventually, the game started, and it was Iraq, with Snake in the back of a truck headed to a combat zone. Once I was able to play, I settled in pretty nicely. Although there is a man and his monkey that also has me scratching my head.

I dunno, this is the game that got a number of 10's, but unlike GTA4, I'm just not seeing it. Not yet, anyway.

Thursday Night Movie Roundup

2008-06-05T23:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't done one of these in quite a while, and since I've seen a number of flicks since the last time I did, another one is certainly due. Let's get started.

Cloverfield, rated PG-13, starring a bunch of actors no one has ever heard of. I caught Cloverfield in the theatre, and I had a good time. Not much else to say other than that.

Dan in Real Life, rated PG-13, starring Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche, and Dane Cook. Yes, it's a romantic comedy, and yes, all romantic comedies are the same: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy drives girl away, boy and girl reconcile and end up together. But I'm a huge Steve Carell fan, so it wasn't a bad way to waste 90 minutes.

Alvin and the Chipmunks, rated PG, starring Jason Lee, David Cross, and the voice of Justin Long. You couldn't have paid me to see this movie if Jason Lee wasn't in it. However, since Jason Lee is one of my man-crushes, I suffered through it. Dear god it was terrible.

Bullitt, rated PG, starring Steve McQueen and Robert Vaughn. This was the second time I've seen this movie, and the first time on Blu Ray. It was one (of 5) I chose for free when I bought my PS3. It's surprising how great a 40 year old film can look and sound on Blu Ray, but the movie itself isn't very good. It's memorable pretty much solely for a 14 minute car chase through the streets of San Francisco with a Dodge Charger and a Ford Mustang.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, rated R, starring John Cho, Kal Penn, and Neil Patrick Harris. A funny, if entirely forgettable comedy.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, rated R, starring Jason Segel, Kristen Bell, and Mila Kunis. Anyone who knows me knows I can't get enough Kristen Bell (I still pine for Veronica Mars). Me seeing this flick was a foregone conclusion, and it was pretty damn good even when Kristen wasn't on screen.

Iron Man, rated PG-13, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Terrence Howard. This is by far my favorite comic book movie since Spider-Man 2. Robert Downey Jr is perfect as Tony Stark. I can't wait for the sequel, and I really hope Rhodey gets to become War Machine. Just bad ass all around.

I'm going to catch You Don't Mess With the Zohan this weekend, Kung Fu Panda next Wednesday, and Indy (finally) next weekend. Then there's The Incredible Hulk, Get Smart, WALL-E, Hancock, Hellboy 2, Dark Knight, Pineapple Express, The Clone Wars...Jesus Christ, this summer is fucking packed with great flicks. Until next time!

GTA IV Postmortem (PS3)

2008-05-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, that only took a month. After about 53 hours of play and 83% completion, I've finished the storyline of GTA IV.

Bottom line: if you have an Xbox 360 or a PS3, you need to own this game. Hell, it might be worth purchasing one of the systems just for this game (and Rock Band).

Easily the best GTA game, and probably the best game I've played this year. Great story, great voice acting, looks great, plays great, ton of stuff to do, just fantastic all around. And the endings, holy shit, the endings. Neither is what you'd call "good" and I can't really decide which one I like better. If any other game had only two endings, one would be "good" and the other would be "bad." In GTA IV, no matter how it ends, things get fucked up and Niko will never be the same. Again, fantastic is the word that comes to mind.

Next up: Metal Gear Solid 4. Rumors of 90 minute cutscenes have me wary, however.

Earthbound? No way!

2008-05-02T11:50:00.001-07:00

Today I make a very rare blog post from work. Usually I don't post at work just because, but today there's some news that demanded I make a post as soon as possible.

Earthbound has been rated by the ESRB, and that usually means only one thing: It will soon release on the Wii Virtual Console.

I've avoided the Wii Virtual Console so far, mainly because there wasn't much worth paying 5 or 10 bucks for, and because I didn't have any Wavebirds (which is the only way to play VC games properly, as I understand it). But now that I have a couple of Wavebirds, the lure of Earthbound is far too strong, and I must have it when it comes out. I remember borrowing the game from a friend and playing it pretty much every day until I finished it. I can't wait to do it again.

I also hear there are some things like Punch Out! and Super Metroid on the VC. I'm thinking I might have plenty of games to keep me busy after GTA IV lets go of me...

GTA IV Initial Impressions (PS3)

2008-04-30T22:48:00.001-07:00

My first thought after putting GTA IV in my PS3: Man, I hope this install doesn't take too long.

As it turns out, it took around 10 minutes, just long enough for me to wolf down my burger that I had gotten on my way home from work after picking up the game at GameCrazy (I no longer patronize EBGameStopWare Etc.). After reading some bad stuff on the net about freezing issues, I hoped that the intro cinematic wouldn't break. Luckily, it didn't, and Niko Bellic was in Liberty City soon enough, driving his cousin to his "mansion."

Without going into too much detail (I'd rather save that for a full review), the game is amazing. It looks fantastic, it plays pretty much like you'd expect it to, and the voice acting and sound effects are top notch.

In about 7 hours of play, I haven't done much of the storyline. I've done enough to meet some people, get a list of contacts in my cell phone (which is pretty much the hub for everything: missions, jobs, meet-ups, dates, etc), and see most of the sights on the starting two islands. The storyline is interesting, don't get me wrong, but I'm having just as much fun taking in the city. I haven't stolen many cars (except when I really needed to), because it's just as easy to grab a cab. That's right, you can hail a cab from any street corner (Liberty City is modeled after New York, after all), hop in the back, and be driven wherever you'd like to go.

That's assuming you'd rather go somewhere in an automobile instead of on foot. For the first time in any GTA game, I'm finding myself avoiding cars as much as possible. There is so much detail in the city that driving past it at 90 mph seems wasteful. Pedestrians all look different and they speak a multitude of languages. You can buy hot dogs from street vendors. You can get special missions from random people on the street. You can go out to eat, play darts, shoot pool, roll a few frames at the bowling alley, catch a cabaret show, patronize the local strip club, or get plastered at the bar down the street, and you can do any of these activities alone, with friends, or with a date. Niko is currently dating a lovely woman named Michelle. I suspect Michelle might be in some sort of witness protection, as all the things in her apartment are brand new, and she always changes the subject when her past is brought up.

Let me turn to what the media focuses on: the violence and criminal activity. Yes, you can steal cars, but I really don't feel the need to, as I already mentioned with the cabs and the walking around the city seeing the sights. Yes, you can solicit prostitutes, receive service, and then waste them to get a "refund." I don't know that anyone would make a habit of that, however, as the GTA games have always handed out money like candy, and if you're that hard up for digital porn, you would get much better results surfing the net. Yes, you can shoot anyone and everyone. But I've only shot bad people so far. Once, I pulled out a shotgun as I was standing on the curb, whipped around, and blew some poor bastard away. I don't why I did it, it's just something that I've done in past GTA games for kicks. The deafening boom of the shotgun was like a slap in the face, and as I watched the man fly backwards and smack sickeningly into the wall before crumpling to the ground, I was shocked. Shocked at the brutality of it, and shocked at myself for engaging in such wanton violence. I went to the pause menu and loaded my game since I had just saved 30 seconds prior, and I haven't shot anyone "just 'cause" since.

This has already gotten way too long, so I'll end it here. To summarize, after 7 hours of play, GTA IV is everything I thought it would be and much, much more.

GTA IV Tomorrow

2008-04-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

GTA IV hits tomorrow. Actually, it hits at midnight tonight, but since I have to work in the morning, I can't get it until after 5 tomorrow. I say can't, not because I'm somehow unable to get it tonight, it's just that I know if I do, I'll stay up until like 4 in the morning playing it, and then not want to go to work, and that's just all bad. I have no self control when it comes to GTA.

So, the work day tomorrow is officially going to be the longest 8 and a half hours of my life. Wish me luck. I'll try and get impressions up tomorrow night (if I can tear myself away from playing after oh, about 6 hours straight, I'm guessing) but probably not until Wednesday or later. GTA IV, bitches!

I'm...Excited?

2008-04-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

I don't talk about work, except when I do. Shit, I think I've used that line before. Oh well, fuck it, I'm too tired right now to care.

So I'm a Health Plan Service Specialist. When I first got the job, it meant I helped out the reps who had questions about whatever. That was awesome, because I didn't have to talk to the public (except for rare occasions), and I got to put my knowledge to good use (explaining things to the general public is not a good use of knowledge. It's wasted on them). But then, that changed, and I didn't get to take those calls anymore. Those calls went to the seasoned reps, and I got escalated calls.

You know what escalated calls are? It's the kind of call that starts with "I want to talk to your supervisor." The kind of calls that really shouldn't exist, because they only occur when a rep isn't doing their job properly or a customer is being unreasonable. Either way, they suck, because I was right back talking to the public again. And this time, every single call was a nightmare.

I contemplated quitting. I thought about stepping down and being a rep again. I thought about doing anything but having to take those damn calls ever again. Recently, I switched to a different specialty escalated queue, and it's better, but it still has the potential to be nightmarish.

However, now there's going to be some changes. Now, escalated calls are only going to take up half my day. The other half will be spent working with reps again, to help them get better. It will be spent working with managers to get things done. It will be spent actually doing management duties for the first time ever, even though I became "management" over a year ago. Plus, we're going to be negotiating for more money, which is always good.

Is it going to be perfect? No. Of course not. But I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm going to like my job again. I'm excited.

Weekend's Over

2008-04-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

My weekend is, anyway. I've had the last four days off work, which was fan-fucking-tastic. I got to sleep in, play a shitload of video games (specifically, I finished off GTA: Vice City Stories on the PS2, and got absolutely hooked on Locoroco and Patapon for the PSP), hang out with my friends, and watch TV (Weeds is a great show. I Netflixed the first season on Blu-Ray, and after watching it bumped the second season to the top of my queue).

It was also my birthday on Saturday, and I got some great wishes from my friends, so I'd like to thank you all again for those. In celebration, we're going to go see Forgetting Sarah Marshall next weekend (mmm, Kristen Bell), so that should be awesome.

Finally, the Playstation Store should be updated by this time tomorrow. It would be a perfect opportunity to unveil the public beta for Home, I think. Because dammit, I want to see Sony's SecondLife/virtual MySpace. I'm not sure exactly why, but it intrigues me.

Updates

2008-04-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

I got my refund for my printer, which wasn't really a surprise since I was dealing with Newegg and they kick ass. I also got my refund for those fucked up controllers, which was a bit of a surprise. I think it was my threat of filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau for false advertising that got them to break.

I ended up getting two Wavebirds off eBay for about a hundred bucks combined. That's more than I wanted to pay, but they're Wavebirds and they're great, so it's all good. The DVD binders arrived in perfect condition, so no problems there. And the new printer/scanner/copier I chose is fantastic. It's a Canon (the other one was a Lexmark), which I should have gone with in the first place because Canon makes rock-solid printers.

I finished Kane and Lynch, by actually completing the story line. Turns out all that was required to complete the "stealth" mission was to pop the sentry in the head with a silenced pistol so he couldn't run and fire a warning flare, and then proceed to open fire on full auto on the rest of the guys. Apparently only the sentry was smart enough to work the flare gun. :rolleyes: Other than that, though, the game was entertaining. Not worth playing through again (except the last mission to get the second of two endings, which was actually pretty good), but a solid game.

Finally, Still Alive will be downloadable for Rock Band once Sony finishes updating their store. For free. FTW.